Matt145 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Some of you might have seen the thread i made last week about my ex asking for a second chance and taking things slow. We didnt rush into anything in the week we was talking and seeing eachother, we saw eachother 3 times. On thursday i took her out and we had the best night i could have ever imagined she looked at me like she adored me, she told me she loved me and wanted to make it work. We sat there for 3 hours just talking and telling eachother how much we can make it work it was amazing it brought back a lot of loving feelings for her which im suffering with now. So obv course i got my hopes up a lot. Then saturday came i was ment to be going to the same party as she was going to, but i didnt go because of stupid reasons. She then called me today and told me she isnt ready for a relationship no more, she kissed her ex last night at a party and she was dancing with her boy mates and its made her realise shes happy being single and she isnt ready to commit and be tied down, she told me she really felt she could make it work until she kissed her ex and went to that party because it made her realise she doesnt want to commit. But she told me she does love me but she just really doesnt want a relationship. I got suspicious that shes doing this to get back with her because she kissed him, but she swore to me shes not going to get with him or anything and she only really kissed him because she was drunk. Im hurt, but im not back to square one. I know it might of been idiotic to give her another chance but i felt like i needed to try one last time and now ive tried i feel ok. I feel theres nothing more i can do now i dont think ive got anymore energy to give her another chance. Im done now i just want to move on and forget her. Shes clearly confused and she will be for a long time, she loves the attention of being single and she doesnt want to give that up. I told her that this is probably it for good now and it would take something really really special for me to ever take her back and thats the truth. Can anyone understand where my ex is coming from?
Sav Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Well, no one can really tell what your ex is thinking except for herself. All I have to say is, good job in giving yourself and her another chance and I'm sorry to hear that it did not work out. Now that you're back to where you started, it's time to cut her off. I don't mean you have to go all crazy on her and just ignore all her msgs. Tell her you understand her decision and you need to heal hence you need to stop talking to her. Then go NC. You gave the relationship another shot, that took guts. Don't worry about what she's thinking or what she's feeling. She chose to end this TWICE. If that doesn't send a message to you, I don't know what will. You will not be happy with her, especially now. I cannot say for sure 10 years down the road, but now she is indecisive and very very confused. Let her settle out her own mind battles. Now back to the topic : YOU. Focus on yourself right now. Take pride in having the guts to try again and now having the dignity to walk away. You don't need someone to complete your life. You are fine by yourself. It might not seem that way now but deep down you know that is true. We're all stronger than we think. Now we just need to find BACK that strength. It is always hidden inside and we have forgotten how to call upon it. Take note that friends and family are a very very important source of support that you can tap on. The support they provide can be extremely powerful. Find your pillars of support and find yourself back . You can do it. The sun will shine once the storm passes. Endure and you'll feel the warmth. Goodluck buddy and we're all here for you 3
RogerWallace111 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 You sound like you've got your head in the right place, and I imagine you'll feel relatively ok this time. Having that final go can definitely provide a valuable sense of closure. I also gave it another short-lived shot with my ex, only to have her say it didn't feel right after 10 days. The pain was short-lived and only a fraction of the intensity it had been the previous time. Been feeling indifferent to optimistic/awesome in the couple weeks since. In fact this morning was the first time I'd had slightly sad thoughts of her in days, as I dreamt about her shortly before waking up. Plus a weekend of excess is catchin up with me leaving me pretty mentally and physically exhausted. You'll be fine ! Hobbies, friends, family, exercise, health, as everyone would recommend 1
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