Guys, would you feel anything at all for someone so similar ??

[Rum]

Background: Was working as a temp staff in this place with several other people. Among them, there was this one guy whom I fancy. The main reason being that throughout the weeks while I was working there, I realised we share a lot similarities be it in interests, beliefs and even our outlook towards life were similar. We even have similar lunch habits ! We would often discuss and chat on our similar interests!

 

It felt really good and comforting to know there's a guy out there who has so much similarities to my lifestyle. To be honest, I haven't felt like this in years.

 

Other colleauges in the office were even amused by our similarities and has called me "the girlie version of him".

 

However, sadly, as much as I'd like to(see/know), both of us have never hinted at any sort of interest with each other. I played it cool and so does he. There were times when we were alone in the room by ourselves...which is supposingly a good chance to get to knwo each other even better, there would be dead silence instead. I don't understand this either. Maybe I just didn't want to come across as the pursuer.

 

Friends have adviced that I really should make the first move knowing that I seldom come across guys who I have such strong feelings for. As someone who is never willing to put pride and dignity down, I know I can never make the first move.

 

I already left the company since. I did not get any positive vibes from him for us to "keep in touch" apart from the general friendly "let us know how you are doing".

 

While it is obvious(at least to me) that our similar taste and outlook towards life is a rare encounter, I just wonder did he feel the same as I did ? It's been weeks since I left the place and I just can't get him out of my head.

 

So my questions is...guys, would you feel anything at all knowing that there's a girl out there who shares so much similarities to your lifestyle ? Or is this just a woman thing ?

[moimeme]

As someone who is never willing to put pride and dignity down, I know I can never make the first move.

 

"Pride" and "dignity" are cold companions. They don't make life interesting, nor do they warm you on cold nights. You can't experience the joy of loving them and they won't mourn your loss when you die. Are they really worth trading in a chance at love for?

 

I think you are hiding behind fear. If I were you, I'd fear missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime much much more than 'losing your dignity' by letting someone know you like him (and what kind of sick world is it when having positive feelings for someone means being 'undignified'?? ).

 

Picture this: he, too, thinks it's 'dignified' to not show interest in a woman. So the two of you end out your days wondering 'what if'. Did you smile particularly warmly at him? Did you look happy when you saw him? Was there any way he might have known that an overture would be welcome?

[djshurkey]

To me, it would be a welcome to be able to be with someone of the opposite sex that has so much in common with me. Like you said, you have not felt that way in years. If you two are so similar, how do you know he doesnt feel the same way about you?

 

I personally think that if you still have friends at that company still, stop by there and say hi. While you are there, try and see if his face lights up even the slightest when he sees you. If it does, pursue the man to the ends of the earth.

[doppelganger]

First off, this is my first posting to loveshack, so i hope this replying thing works... here goes...

 

Rum, I have some questions for you i would like to ask. How old are you and how old is this guy? And can you describe this guy some- you say he's similar to you, but what do you mean? i mean the advise from guys around here may be more applicable if we know whether for example you and the guy are in your late twenties and met at a law firm or whether you guys are 19 years old and he's a skater dude. Maturity level differences, if you know what i mean.

 

With respect to you not wanting to make the first move, i know you keep hearing to just do it, but before you adamantly decide not to go for it, let me just say this: As a guy, the girl making the first move = very hot. It shows confidence, it shows you know what you want, etc. etc. At the very least, its an ego boost to the guy.

 

And for future reference, don't try to NOT hint interest to the guy in the attempt to play it cool. You say he didn't show any hint of interest either. While this could mean he has no intention of wanting to be with you, it could just mean he didn't see any buying signals from you and therefore didn't want to chance getting rejected by someone who shows no romantic interest in him. Show some interest next time you're with a guy you like and see if you get some back. Flirt a little. Then you'll be able to more aptly judge where his interest level lies.

 

The dead silences when you two were alone... when i was younger, whenever i used to be around a girl i liked and i didn't know how she felt back, i wouldn't know what to say. and as such, these awkward silences ensued. but lo and behold, if she showed some interest, i was fine. without knowing any more than what you initially wrote, these dead silences are interesting. For me, if i see you as 'just a friend' kinda girl, i wouldn't really have dead silences w/ you. But if i liked you and i didn't know if you'd return the affection... dead silence.

 

Anyways, to answer the question you asked at the end of your post, I would feel something for a girl who shares a lot of similarities w/ me if: 1) i'm single and looking, 2) you pass the physical attraction test [don't blast me for saying that as we all know it to be true for both guys and girls if you don't know the person well], and 3) i'm looking for same-same in a potential partner (ie: somebody exactly like me-- as opposed to somebody somewhat different).

 

hope my point of view helps some... If you take anything away from this message, at the very least remember: first move, very hot...

[Kizzyfur]

My beau finds it rather exciting that we share so much in common. Including but not limited to... similarities in interests, beliefs, activities, right down to favorite color. We do have our differences though. Needless to say, we don't argue much.

 

I say you should go for him. Take a chance. You never know what you might be missing out on if you stand outside the fire. He might feel the same way you do but is too shy to let you know. Worst that can happen is he'll say he's not interested. Not like you have to deal with him every day anymore since you left the company, right?