xerxes123 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Just found this forum, and think it is amazing. Right, here goes with my story! I was with my ex for five and a bit years, never really argued and had an amazing relationship (what I thought was anyways) We grew up together...we even moved in together for a year. It all started to change towards the end of our studies. He got a great scholarship (which meant he would have to move to another country and it was for a few years) We were both very upset with the situation of 'what would happen to us?' I was never a horrible other half (I supported my other half all the way through, never stopped him doing with he wanted to do) Anyways, when he left last year to begin his long scholarship round the other side of the world..it crushed me. We carried on with our relationship and spoke via email and online video chat. After a few weeks, we both decided that I would move out there for a while. I did and it was great, we were back together again. [Oh I forgot to add, after each term he would return home to his family and friends] So we came back together early this year, I was debating whether to keep doing this with him [i knew it would completely crush my family]. I noticed that he didn't ask me to go back out there with him when his new term started. Things carried on as normal, we missed each other and loved each other..UNTIL..something happened, we had a 'mutual breakup' back in May time. I didn't go abroad with him, he never asked me too. After the breakup, it was hard..still in long distance and in contact on via email. I knew he was back in the summer for a couple of weeks. He came back and we saw each other every single week. It was like old time. He told me that he 'doesn't want to be with again, and just wants to be friends' It was strange, he was flirting with me, bring up the past and going to all the places we always used to go to. Anyways, he went back to his scholarship again a few weeks ago, and ~I decided to go no contact.. Before I started the no contact, I tried hard to get my answers of why he doesn't want to try and make our relationship work. He kept saying he is confused and does't know what he wants to do job wise and etc. He said it wasn't me and that he is sorry he hurt me. He doesn't regret the relationship. In the end, after not finding any of my answers I told him that I don't want to hear from him and neither would I contact him, we can't be friends with feelings involved. I have been in no contact with him for a few weeks now, he hasn't contacted me yet and yes there have been times where I want to talk to him. But ~I haven't.. I heard from somewhere that he got into trouble and was telling a mutual friend of ours. He was with a girl and some people tried to cause trouble..etc. Our mutual friend said to him [when someone threatens a woman you love like that...etcetc] I was heartbroken! How could my ex do this to me..obviously that is the line that has played on my mind...which is why I am fixating on it. I keep thinking whether this 'woman' is someone I already know [she is a les by the way] I don't know what to do.. I'm hurt and confused! I need a man's opinion. What is it thinking/doing!
TopCat22 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Only he knows. You can't read his mind and if you are doing no contact properly then you won't even hear about these things. You need to tell mutual friends that you don't want to hear about him. If you are trying to move on an heal then you need him out of your life for good. Otherwise you'll keep fixating on every little detail.
Calico Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Yes, only he knows. I'm a guy, but I can't relate to what he's been pulling here, or what he may be thinking. It's not how I'd handle any of that. I feel, though, that whenever people say to their partners that they are "confused" about the future of the relationship, there is a huge chance that it's over and they just don't know how to properly end it or don't want to let go of the safety net.
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