ColorMe Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Maybe it's just too much happening at once, but I feel all these things ending in a bad place. Anger My husband and I fight constantly. He does something wrong I confront him and he promises to never do it again... We delve back into a "happy" place momentarily until the cycle repeats itself. I want things to work out, he says he wants me in his life, but I seem to be the only one promoting change... Which pisses me off. How do you ask someone to forgive you and stay, but you put them through Hell?? Depression After having two kids with my husband, 4yo and 1 yo, and not wanting anymore anytime soon, I've had a miscarriage about two weeks ago. When I found out I didn't tell my husband because I didn't see the point, but I begged him for compassion the weekend I found out. I didn't want him to make it about him I just wanted to be held... Thats reasonable, right? Not only did he not give me what I asked for, but I ended up telling him a few days later and he still failed to provide any comfort. When I found out, it wasn't that big of a deal, but as time has moved forward I'm feeling really insecure about my body expelling one of my children without my permission. And, I'm not quite understanding why my husband seems to not care. Technically, my husband is the port of both of my worst emotions. But ive come to a bad mindset about it.. If I wasn't here I wouldn't have to figure out how to get past this problem. Which I know is a BAD place to be. I know this because I've been through a lot in my life but this is the first time ending my own life has ever crossed my mind. I don't know what I'm asking for, I just thought I would share what's on my mind Please be gentle... As aforementioned I am a basket case...
KathyM Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I think you need some help to come to terms with the emotions you are feeling. I'm sure it must be difficult to be going through everything you have been, and feeling unsupported by your husband. Please see a counselor about these feelings you are having. Your life is valuable, and your children need you.
veryhappy Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Because you know you are in a bad place, you can't trust your thoughts. Feeling that ending your life is a solution is a result of feeling helpless and without choices. If you give it enough time, and try as hard as you can to push away the thoughts, you will eventually get in a better place. Can you call a suicide hotline? You can't blame your body for the miscarriage. It's not your fault. Did you suffer of postpartum depression after your youngest? That might have put you in a bad place to begin with. As for your husband, was he different in the past? He doesn't seem supportive, so short term try to find other people to help you.
Eve Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 OP, please go to your GP and/or Pastor and talk it all out. I hope you are not stuck in the house too much? Do you have any family near to you? What about friends/ Have you told anyone how low you have been feeling? Yes, your Husband should be more supportive but right now please get support for yourself and the babies. Very sorry for your loss. *Hugs* Take care, Eve x
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