Cabin Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 I was in a sexless marriage for almost eight years. I internalized the "sexlessness" as my own dysfunction and thought I was just broken. Now I see - 2.5 years into my current relationship - that it really is about physical compatibility and emotional connectedness. I want to be with him intimately basically all the time and we make love near daily. 2
LadyGrey Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 I have a sad feeling that the women at your workplace do not respect you and giggle about you behind their backs. You probably think they are just jealous of you... This post cracked me up. Seems I remember you posted that you like to go to restaurants and pick out people (you think) might be cheating and you enjoy giggling and whispering about them. Since you enjoy giggling and whispering behind people's backs, it's clear you assume that other people do the same. I don't know about others here but I suspect they are like me and don't participate in such grade school antics nor associate with other people who do. Gossip is ugly and childish and giggling behind people's back says a lot about the person doing it.......and it ain't pretty. 2
Recovering_Wayward Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 This thread and other things I read inspired me to blog on this subject. Understand I wrote it from the male perspective, although I realize that many married females might be in the same position. I just didn't feel qualified to write from their perspective. Sex is the “glue” in a marriage « And you may ask yourself… well, how did I get here?
carhill Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Sorry Carhill, I couldn't tell... Are you saying that those who claim to have s sexless marriage are lying? And if so, what benefit is there to be had of telling a parent, sibling or same-sex best pal you're upset about the fact you haven't had sex for years? There's zero chance of gettin' some as a result of an admission of that kind. Now I accept it as their truth and valid for them, which is not to say it is the absolute truth. Before, mainly in the period of my 20's-mid 30's, I mistakenly accepted and validated such perspectives as absolute and unbiased, giving far too much unwarranted benefit of the doubt. So, in combination with finding different eyes, I entertained a different perspective on what those eyes saw.
irin Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 i think sex isnt important to alot of people and they dont need it, where as for some, they cant go without it. i think society needs to understand that its okay not to want sex, you just need to be honest about it. we need to eliminate the shame that comes with that. every time i see sexless thread, the responses are all the same, he/she isnt attracted to you, she/he must have been abused/raped, he/she must getting it elsewhere, he/she has serious psychological issues. why the hell are we even expected to have sex in first place. with the amount of contraceptions around its no longer a natural instinct to reproduce. theres nothing sad, abnormal about not wanting to have sex. im honest about it, i tell every guy that tries to take me out. most of them leave, but maybe one day ill find a asexual. to keep me company. 1
Author Silly_Girl Posted September 18, 2012 Author Posted September 18, 2012 I was in a sexless marriage for almost eight years. I internalized the "sexlessness" as my own dysfunction and thought I was just broken. Now I see - 2.5 years into my current relationship - that it really is about physical compatibility and emotional connectedness. I want to be with him intimately basically all the time and we make love near daily. That makes me so sad. But then, I've had other dysfunctional stuff going on in a relationship so it's not a pity thing. But... Go You!!! Sounds like you're having a ball now
Author Silly_Girl Posted September 18, 2012 Author Posted September 18, 2012 i think sex isnt important to alot of people and they dont need it, where as for some, they cant go without it. i think society needs to understand that its okay not to want sex, you just need to be honest about it. we need to eliminate the shame that comes with that. every time i see sexless thread, the responses are all the same, he/she isnt attracted to you, she/he must have been abused/raped, he/she must getting it elsewhere, he/she has serious psychological issues. why the hell are we even expected to have sex in first place. with the amount of contraceptions around its no longer a natural instinct to reproduce. theres nothing sad, abnormal about not wanting to have sex. im honest about it, i tell every guy that tries to take me out. most of them leave, but maybe one day ill find a asexual. to keep me company. I think that's the distinction in that you make people aware and have accepted that its your makeup. Many can't acknowledge that and either keep up a pretence or wait until after marriage and no sex comes. I know someone asexual, he has married a woman who does want sex but she'll accept less than the norm because they have a relationship that works for them in other ways. I wonder how their story will progress because he is deliberately extending the periods between sex. Sounds really difficult.
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