I'm obsessed with my ex

[confusedaboutlove]

Hi, I wanted to get some advice on my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We broke up almost five years ago. The relationship fell apart after a year and a half together and it was a very drastic break-up, that dragged on for two years of being his f**k buddy, while my heart was broken. I managed to cut contact but I contacted him two years ago apologizing for my behavior while we were in the relationship (I messed around with someone else.) I continued to be very distant and hadn't forgiven him for the way he broke up with me (he got involved with a girl in his office and he stopped seeing me completely, only saw me for sex.)

I slept with him once again in January of this year, because he was making a lot of comments about wishing to see me and trying to get together with me. I became very angry with him when he said he wasn't sure about me, and I pushed him away again.

I haven't seen him again since then, but we still keep in contact. I have told him that I can't let go of the relationship, and I have tried to move on. I was involved with someone recently and couldn't get my ex-boyfriend out of my head the whole time, so I broke it off with this new guy. About a month ago I contacted my ex, and expressed my feelings about wanting our relationship back and he said he didn't trust me.

He still contacts me but doesn't really try to see me, I feel more like his pen-pal. I try to be caring, I really do love him, but it's breaking my heart that we're both getting along so fine and seem to care about eachother, yet he doesn't try to see me or say anything about our relationship. He talks about sex mostly, but I think he just wants to have sex with anybody.

 

I'm sick of having hope, I have been long for him for a long time, but I don't know how to get over him. I stopped initiating contact about two weeks ago, but I respond to his friendly texts. He makes comments about being lonely but he doesn't take any initiative regarding us, and I believe he is unsure or not interested. I'm sick of begging him. I don't want to try to repair this relationship by myself. I feel like he's so indifferent. I always had to motivate him, even when we first got together. I just want to be happy, but I don't even give another guy a chance! Should I ignore him? What if I contact him again? I feel ridiculous, I have guys who are trying to be there for me, but I push them all away for this ex-boyfriend.

Edited September 16, 2012 by confusedaboutlove

[The_Face]

I'm kind of in the same position with my ex gf. I'm reaching that point of just wanting to give up entirely, stop going for the breadcrumbs I keep getting thrown. You should do the same.

 

Don't take this the wrong way but your relationship with your ex just sounds like a **** buddy scenario that's gone on way too long. He is stringing you along. Unless you are ok with meaningless sex and nothing else, cut him out of your life, for good. But it sounds like you want more than that, and if you continue with your ex it's only going to prolong the pain and one day you'll wake up, realizing you've wasted so much time with someone who doesn't care about you the way you need.

 

Have some more respect for yourself, and move on. You can do better.

[geegirl]

How can you ever get over him if you keep communicating and having sex. You don't get over someone by going back to them. And stop trying to coax and push someone to love you. The only way to get over this, is cold turkey, NC. You stay away from him for good until the day you can think about him and not give a damn. Anything other than that, will keep you playing the same song and dance. No easy way out of this but to just do it. You've wasted too much time on nothing.