Ever been dumped when it should have been the OTHER way around?

[oasisfancortes]

Ever been dumped by someone, but you knew you should have been the one to do it, but just couldn't?

 

For example, take me: My gf dumped me. We were having issues, and I thought she was leading me on and had different intentions with someone else. She denied it, and even after I thought I had all the evidence in the world, I couldn't accept facts and bring myself to do it, and still wanted to somehow make it work. But she ended it, and I found out shortly after that she's with this guy who I suspected she was having a thing with behind my back

[KatZee]

Ever been dumped by someone, but you knew you should have been the one to do it, but just couldn't?

 

For example, take me: My gf dumped me. We were having issues, and I thought she was leading me on and had different intentions with someone else. She denied it, and even after I thought I had all the evidence in the world, I couldn't accept facts and bring myself to do it, and still wanted to somehow make it work. But she ended it, and I found out shortly after that she's with this guy who I suspected she was having a thing with behind my back

 

Oh yes. And this is why when I hit the anger stage, I hit it hard, and it hung around for a good month and a half. I was full of hate and rage day in and day out.

 

I know everyone says there are two sides to every story, but I am not exaggerating my side at all. I gave my ex EVERYTHING. I did everything and anything for him. Whatever he wanted of me, he got it. Whether it be emotional support, a shoulder to cry on, sex, money... I was always there to help him out, encourage him. He said time and time again he didn't know where he'd be if it wasn't for me. That I'd helped to push him to go back to school, get a new job, etc etc.

 

Over time, he began to change. My radar went off subtly a few times but I always ignored it. I let A LOT of things slide when I should have dumped him then and there.

 

He would get black out drunk and humiliate me in public. He would be extremely inconsiderate to me. He put work, his friends, and anything above me. He allowed his friends to disrespect me, talk crap about me, and he DEFENDED them! He actually justified their behavior, and told me that I needed to bend over backwards for them.

 

He would emotionally abuse and manipulate me. He'd avoid any and all conflict we'd have. He'd shut down, refuse to talk, go into hiding, ignore me, and then come back two days later as if nothing happened.

 

He criticized me constantly. Everything about me was wrong. How I acted, how I did things, how my life was going. This was convenient too. I would always be there when he had issues, but with me, all he did was point fingers and tell me how crappy I was.

 

He threatened to break up with me 4 times during our relationship to "keep me in check."

 

Two years into our relationship I found out he cheated on me with his ex. He had lied to my face for our entire relationship. He had talked badly of me to his ex. He cheated on me IN FRONT of all his friends, so for two years everyone knew. He had made a fool of me for that whole time.

 

5 days before he officially ended it with me, I called him and said we needed to talk. I wanted to end it. I was done. He refused to talk. He went MIA. He then sent me a text saying, "we need to talk, this is it, we're over."

 

LIVID isn't even the word for how I felt. I had every reason on the planet to dump his disgusting, lying, cheating, disrespectful, cowardly, immature, pathetic little boy as$. Instead, he dumped ME. The only person who actually had believed in him, had been faithful since day one, loving, caring, supportive, giving, generous, and every other great adjective here.

 

I finally took my power back and wrote him the nastiest email and I felt GOOD sending it.

[NoMoreJerks]

Yeah. In my case, he threatened to dump me on at least 3 separate occasions. I should've dumped his ass a long time ago but I gave him one chance after the other. I didn't want the guilt of ending the relationship if there was a chance that it would work out. Plus, I loved him and wanted to work things out. But he just wasn't interested. He tried dumping me. I think he was bluffing. I begged him to take me back, and he accepted (which makes me think it was a bluff intended to keep me in check). Then I realized that he had gone too far this time around, and dumped his ass. So yeah, I'm not sure who did the actual dumping, him or me. I guess that'd be me. haha.

 

I let A LOT of things slide when I should have dumped him then and there.

Yup. Same here.

 

He would emotionally abuse and manipulate me. He'd avoid any and all conflict we'd have. He'd shut down, refuse to talk, go into hiding, ignore me, and then come back two days later as if nothing happened.

Exactly the same as my ex.

 

He threatened to break up with me 4 times during our relationship to "keep me in check."

This too.

 

5 days before he officially ended it with me, I called him and said we needed to talk. I wanted to end it. I was done. He refused to talk. He went MIA. He then sent me a text saying, "we need to talk, this is it, we're over."

Oddly enough, almost the same thing happened with me. Well, I said we needed to talk, he didn't disappear, but ignored it for a whole day, then said he could go on skype to talk. We talked, and I put down some boundaries. We talked for 3 hours, and he seemed ok with it all, even though we had some tense moments and I felt like it could've ended any minute. I was in fact willing to end it then and there if he had refused to respect my boundaries. But he did not really challenge them, and in fact gave in on some of the things I asked for, after I stood my ground. I think he did it because he wanted to keep me attached to him and he knew from my tone that I would end it unless he gave the semblance of giving in. But it seems that control freak that he is, he did not "digest" my attempt to regain some control, and gave me the cold/quiet treatment for the next 5 days, until , out of the blue, he texted me saying we should end it. I tried calling him, but he wouldn't pick up, said he didn't want to speak.

 

LIVID isn't even the word for how I felt. I had every reason on the planet to dump his disgusting, lying, cheating, disrespectful, cowardly, immature, pathetic little boy as$. Instead, he dumped ME. The only person who actually had believed in him, had been faithful since day one, loving, caring, supportive, giving, generous, and every other great adjective here.

I can imagine. I wouldn't have been able to live with the idea that HE had dumped me. I wanted to be the one to have the final word, and I did. For me, just sending an email wouldn't have done it. I had to be the one doing the dumping.

[Sugarkane]

Yes it has happened to me before. Did everything right only to be dumped really cruelly. What a joke.

[Sugarkane]

NoMoteJerks- The same thing happened to me too. Got dumped out of the blue and refused to meet/ give logical answers. Refused to actually talk to me. Yet that coward calls himself a man.