Necromancer Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I was hanging out with my friend when his friend came over and he told us that he had been hitting on a girl who was working in store and in the end she told him that he was "ugly, blonde, yada yada yada...". I had never seen this guy before he was pretty confident and had humor but he was not good looking by any means. I was once hanging out with my female friend, then my friend came who is not good looking and everything he did was wrong and she hated him. It seems if a guy a not good looking and confident he will mostly only get hate from hitting on women. (I am not talking about me, this has just what i have seen). There will always be exceptions but this has clearly been the rule. 1
ThaWholigan Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 "Ugly", confident men don't really care, otherwise they wouldn't be confident - eventually they find women who do appreciate and like them . I've seen many examples of this myself. 9
Author Necromancer Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 "Ugly", confident men don't really care, otherwise they wouldn't be confident - eventually they find women who do appreciate and like them . I've seen many examples of this myself. Yep, they will find some girl, But this has been the rule.
MrCastle Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Yeah, totally, but I wouldn't limit it to just women. Both genders dislike unattractive members of the opposite sex who act confident. We're not attracted to them, so in our minds, we don't see why this person walks around with their chest out and head held why. We think they should be at home gently sobbing. 3
ThaWholigan Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Yep, they will find some girl, But this has been the rule. I don't know about that to be honest. One thing I've observed in my time on this planet with regards to dating and relationships is that there isn't really any "rules" per se. The rules are really dictated by the individual - don't get me wrong, in many demographics there is a cultural influence that can be strong depending on the demographic. But I've seen a lot of different dynamics at play when it comes to dating, as such I have seen many things that dispute a lot of the claims made on the internet (mostly by guys, but girls say a lot of dumb things on the internet that are BS too) and they occur to frequently to be merely written off as exceptions in my eyes.
ChatroomHero Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I guess you're point is attractive people do better and attraction plays a part in finding women looking for men. File that under "of course".
CaliGuy Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I was hanging out with my friend when his friend came over and he told us that he had been hitting on a girl who was working in store and in the end she told him that he was "ugly, blonde, yada yada yada...". I had never seen this guy before he was pretty confident and had humor but he was not good looking by any means. I was once hanging out with my female friend, then my friend came who is not good looking and everything he did was wrong and she hated him. It seems if a guy a not good looking and confident he will mostly only get hate from hitting on women. (I am not talking about me, this has just what i have seen). There will always be exceptions but this has clearly been the rule. Your friend probably doesn't understand that women can smell the difference (quite easily) between Confidence and Cockiness. Your friend isn't confident, he's cocky. Trust me, I know many unattractive but secure and confident guys who have beautiful wives/girlfriends. Heck, I knew guys like that in the Marines back in the day. I think your friend reads too much of that "David DeAngelo" tripe.... 2
AD1980 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Your friend probably doesn't understand that women can smell the difference (quite easily) between Confidence and Cockiness. Your friend isn't confident, he's cocky. Its a thin line.I have a friend whos arrogant and borderline narcisistic and gets tons of women because hes very good looking,because of it hes called confident or masculine or whatever if he wasnt as good looking hed get slapped for some of the stuff he does People tend to give positive personality traits to those they are really physically attracted to 1
Beausoleil Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Your friend isn't confident, he's cocky. I agree. It's a turn-off when someone clearly thinks too highly of himself, or herself, especially if that person expects you to feel honored by their attention. Sometimes though, it's bravado to cover up insecurities. But what is meant by "ugly"? The opposite of good-looking? For me, most people fall into a "category" in between the two. And anybody I grow to like becomes good-looking to me.
Michael Johnson Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Its a thin line.I have a friend whos arrogant and borderline narcisistic and gets tons of women because hes very good looking,because of it hes called confident or masculine or whatever if he wasnt as good looking hed get slapped for some of the stuff he does People tend to give positive personality traits to those they are really physically attracted to I agree. The double standards are ridiculous. As if men who's don't have ripped abs and is rich can't be confident and not arrogant.
KungFuJoe Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Good looking people have it easier. It's a fact of life and the sooner you accept it, the better.
Author Necromancer Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 Your friend probably doesn't understand that women can smell the difference (quite easily) between Confidence and Cockiness. Your friend isn't confident, he's cocky. Trust me, I know many unattractive but secure and confident guys who have beautiful wives/girlfriends. Heck, I knew guys like that in the Marines back in the day. I think your friend reads too much of that "David DeAngelo" tripe.... He doesn't even know what PUA is. I am 18, only looks matter to most gals at this age. I have never seen a ugly guy with a hot girl thats a myth. But i have seen guys with better looking girls.
monkey00 Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 It seems if a guy a not good looking and confident he will mostly only get hate from hitting on women. (I am not talking about me, this has just what i have seen). It's really no different from women calling guys they *aren't* attracted to as creepy / sleaze. If they were they wouldn't be saying anything bad at all. But I mean hey, I see ugly/average guys getting attractive gfs...if it were not for their confidence, how did you think they wound up with the girl? Did you think the attractive girl actually chased that type of guy? ...haha.
AlexCross Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 He doesn't even know what PUA is. I am 18, only looks matter to most gals at this age. I have never seen a ugly guy with a hot girl thats a myth. But i have seen guys with better looking girls. Your only 18? And you make all these threads about dating ? Seriously you are infantile at dating at best. What advice should I take from someone who cannot legally drink. Seriously. 1
AlexCross Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Yeah, totally, but I wouldn't limit it to just women. Both genders dislike unattractive members of the opposite sex who act confident. We're not attracted to them, so in our minds, we don't see why this person walks around with their chest out and head held why. We think they should be at home gently sobbing. Everyone has their own mind, their own likes and dislikes, and their is no cardinal rule. It is 2012, there are no things set in stone. 1
CaliGuy Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Good looking people have it easier. It's a fact of life and the sooner you accept it, the better. Not true. Good looking people tend to have deep insecurities and often times they have an inflated sense of self-worth. In fact, most of the attractive people I have met are utterly ugly inside. There's nothing attractive about that.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 The ugly and so-called confident guys were probably revoltingly obnoxious. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Your friend probably doesn't understand that women can smell the difference (quite easily) between Confidence and Cockiness. Your friend isn't confident, he's cocky. Trust me, I know many unattractive but secure and confident guys who have beautiful wives/girlfriends. Heck, I knew guys like that in the Marines back in the day. I think your friend reads too much of that "David DeAngelo" tripe.... This. Exactly. Nice to see you around CaliGuy. OP, when you are 18, I think looks matter disproportionately to anything else. But as you get older, you realize what a fully capable person you are and how wonderful differences are then just standard ideals of beauty. I have been attracted to a wide range of men. Some classically good looking, some not. Utimately, it comes down to chemistry. Chemistry isn't always dependent on actual physical looks. And that is utlmately more exciting then if it was.
CaliGuy Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 The ugly and so-called confident guys were probably revoltingly obnoxious. It goes both ways. It's about WHO you are, not what you are, that matters.
Mrlonelyone Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 It goes both ways. It's about WHO you are, not what you are, that matters. What you are matters a little.
CaptJay Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 I was hanging out with my friend when his friend came over and he told us that he had been hitting on a girl who was working in store and in the end she told him that he was "ugly, blonde, yada yada yada...". I had never seen this guy before he was pretty confident and had humor but he was not good looking by any means. I was once hanging out with my female friend, then my friend came who is not good looking and everything he did was wrong and she hated him. It seems if a guy a not good looking and confident he will mostly only get hate from hitting on women. (I am not talking about me, this has just what i have seen). There will always be exceptions but this has clearly been the rule. Being confident, not cocky, and a complete and utter gentleman are both very important and desirable to women. However, at 18, it'll be quite a few years until experience catches-up with you. Right now, it'll all be about looks... cj 1
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