bteam Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 Ok, so I used be a carefree sort of person (like my friends said passive). I got into this relationship a few years ago,and this guy was this controlling type,like I am talkin needed me to spend all my free time with him, get upset if I wanted to do other things (though i'd invite him he just wanted it to be me n him),check my phone all the time and question everything I did, if he didn't like it he got mad. I tried explaining numerous times about his behaviour and how it wasn't normal and how he needed to stop. Anyways I finally broke it off with him (tho he did text me all the time and call). So, one day he asked me to talk and he explained that he wanted to be with me again and he wouldn't be that way any more, (I agreed,but I failed to mention that I was friends with this guy since like childhood so its hard to just say piss off, and plus you think you know someone till you date them and see what there really like I guess). So it started with the usual fake acts like going out with me and walks n such. Then it went to only wanting me around him and getting mad if I didn't just sit at home with him. (he even went as far as trying to set a curfew for when I had to be back or else " I'd regret it?") Then shortly after he randomly stopped acting like that, like I mean abruptly stopped. He started doing things and saying "I am a grown man I can do what I want". Though its confusing Its better I guess. The problem now though is he actually just completely excludes me from when he goes out and doesn't even try to invite me. He only pays attention to me when HE feels like it. I am just bitter because I had to deal with the way he was before, and suddenly I am supposed to be ok with being ignored until he wants to see me? K what should I do here? Also I am still pretty passive about everything else in my life, but this is realy pissing me off.
ja123 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 This guy is an abuser. Dump him! Run! Go no contact. Read "Emotional Blackmail" by Susan Forward; and "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie. You have your issues, too, which you need to look at. Why are you so passive? and what's the pay-off for being that way? It's good that you see his behaviour isn't 'normal'. Now the next steps are up to you.
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