Regina81 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 I have been together with my husband for 10 years. We have been married for 5. 3kids 10, 8, and 5. We never lived together until when we where married. I'm 31 and he's 33. We rushed into marriage because my parents were military and moving, so I stayed here with no family. I had a car, job and excellent credit. He worked as well as a contractor. After we got married not even a month, I found out he gambles. He started not coming home, I wanted leave but stayed instead. It became normal to me. He started staying out more, I would complain, arguments would start. Bills werent getting paid, I worked, I paid my half, but soon had to pay for everything it seemed. His car in my name got repo, I had to drive him to work, we argue about him getting up for work because he stayed out so late, things escalated. He was late so many times they let him go. He never cleaned himself up, it seemed. He looked dirty. Later we were evicted and moved to his moms, with his sister and her 3 kids too. It was awful. I was depressed, pushed away my family and friends. I was the only one that had a car in his family. Someone always wanted to be taken somewhere. He blamed me for his job loss. He always said this money is for the house and I'm complaining. He drove my car, no coming home. I started getting tickets and couldn't pay. He was reckless. 1 1/2 he got a job, but went to jail for 2 weeks driving no license. He wrecked my other car from driving in snow. It was paid off and it's damage but still drivable. Anyways, later people started talking him, me like always about his reckless behavior. He wanted to change. He had aggressive attitude when things don't gi his way and blames me. To this day.. I have gotten another car, the other one is broken, he has no lincese still. I drive him to work and then I go to work. He just mad we live by check he can't pay these fees. He takes my new car when he wants. I feel just sick. He stopped gambling staying out late. Because he has lost his check before. Thru the depression my guy friend brightens my day and makes me feel alive. The chemistry is strong between us. It has been 1 year, I have been talking to him. I don't want my husband nor have sex with him. I expressed i want to leave, but he talks about the kids and i start to feel bad. He also owes taxes as well, and never really taken care of me..I know it's wrong to feel something for someone else. Help...
TaraMaiden Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 Leave. That's all I can tell you by what you're telling us. Leave. Or throw him out. This will never change, and frankly, I really don't think any amount of concerted effort in counselling/therapy will either change him or the way you feel. Your H. won't ever change unless he deliberately sets out to definitely change. If you can't live with this, why continue to do so?
Author Regina81 Posted September 15, 2012 Author Posted September 15, 2012 Your so right.. Everytime I think about leaving and have a plan. It stops, he brings the children into it. Anything to take the main focus off of him. Especially I had a emotionally connection with someone else. I don't want to be married again . I don't like feeling trapped. When I need something I have to play nice, because he won't just hand it to me, when he wasn't working I still provided when ever I can. Now I'm starting a new career making alot more money, and knows that I can leave now. But I won't have a paycheck for almost 3 weeks. I don't have any money. My parents had things they had to pay. So I don't want to burden anyone. He takes my car and says why do you care, I putting gas in it and walks out. He's talking advantage of my vulnerability
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