klw1905 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 This past week I have been all over the place... Last weekend was the worst... The tears wouldn't stop Beginning of this week the ex contacted... It was a surprise Everything I thought of the past three weeks I laid out there, every feeling, every thought, I said it all. Do I regret it... No it actually felt like I got to empty the spinning in my head. I put it all out there and it was just how I felt. His response, IF things were to move forward he agreeded that things would need to change.... In response I told him that he was gonna have to tell me what he wanted... Then nothing... By the end of the week I was in angry phase. Yesterday sucked... Weekends have been tough so I was on edge. On edge that I didn't feel like doing anything, that my house looks like its been through a war zone, and that my ex gave me hope and left it at that. I didn't look at my phone last night... He texted last night.... On a Friday.... Just hi... How we've been starting our now awkward conversations... The spinning in my head is starting over... I should say he did say he would get back to me on our last conversation.... So is it I miss you too Or no this for the best Or just breadcrumbs
KatZee Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 His response, IF things were to move forward he agreeded that things would need to change.... In response I told him that he was gonna have to tell me what he wanted... Oh God. Don't fall for this one. My ex pulled this SAME crap with me. He would find reasons to bail on the relationship, almost pull the plug, and then try to "scare" me by saying, "things need to change, or else..." or else the relationship is over. This is nothing but manipulation, and control. Please, wake up, realize your worth, and realize that there is someone out there who is going to love and accept ALL OF YOU and not say you need to change. It doesn't matter WHAT you change. The second you fall to his requests, there will be something else just behind it that's wrong, and something ELSE that needs changing. He's also now avoiding talking about the relationship. Talking about it, and discussing it, would mean he needs to feel those emotions and that's not something he's prepared to do. "He texted last night.... On a Friday.... Just hi... How we've been starting our now awkward conversations..." Crumbs. Nothing more. The relationship is over but he's trying to keep his foot in the door. He's trying to gauge how interested you still are. In order for him to have any sort of control over you, and over the relationship, he needs to be in your life in some capacity. That is what this is. Please read my original thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/346758-mr-unavailable-fallback-girl And look into purchasing the book. I think it will help tremendously.
eleve82 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 I don't know the backstory to this, and would not assume that is he leading you on (only you know best what his true nature is). For 2 people to break and and think about getting back together, something does indeed have to change and you should have an idea of what both of you EACH need to change - it is not a one way street. If this is beyond yours and his willingness to compromise then it will be difficult. I would be very hesitant to fall into the trap of thinking that nobody needs to ever change anything to have a BETTER relationship with the person - that would be an almost idealistic, perfect-case scenario. His silence may just have to do with the fact that he did not know how to answer your question, or that he has doubts things would indeed change. If both of you have no idea what went wrong, then this conversation will go nowhere. If you want to have any hopes of a reconciliation, you'll both need to do more than send vague texts back and forth. Try to speak to him proper in person.
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