jamesweston Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 my gf and i have been together for a while now and we do some sexual stuff, i like bjs but she says they make her sick, and id be fine and understand this but im not the first person she has given them too, she did it to a guy in the past after just a couple days of dating and then he dumped her! and another time she didnt even date the guy, he fingered her and then she offered him a bj and they werent even dating!! and he left): when we first started hanging out we talked about how far we went and stuff but she kept certain things from me, i knew her 37 days and had been going out with her for 12 days before she gave me my first bj. idk y but this has always bothered me, she is in love with me like crazy and was never with those guys so i feel like she should want to give them to me when we get the chance, she doesnt want to though, i just feel like its messed up that ive given her everything i have and she cant do that for me, im not saying how i feel is right but i cant help it! i love her dearly!! she says they make her feel sick but i dont understand how she could do it for those bastards when she first got the chance and not me and ik how much she loves me, what should i do?
AlexCross Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 my gf and i have been together for a while now and we do some sexual stuff, i like bjs but she says they make her sick, and id be fine and understand this but im not the first person she has given them too, she did it to a guy in the past after just a couple days of dating and then he dumped her! and another time she didnt even date the guy, he fingered her and then she offered him a bj and they werent even dating!! and he left): when we first started hanging out we talked about how far we went and stuff but she kept certain things from me, i knew her 37 days and had been going out with her for 12 days before she gave me my first bj. idk y but this has always bothered me, she is in love with me like crazy and was never with those guys so i feel like she should want to give them to me when we get the chance, she doesnt want to though, i just feel like its messed up that ive given her everything i have and she cant do that for me, im not saying how i feel is right but i cant help it! i love her dearly!! she says they make her feel sick but i dont understand how she could do it for those bastards when she first got the chance and not me and ik how much she loves me, what should i do? Try talking to her. Ask her. Be nice about it. There might be more to the story then you know. It is never healthy knowing the specifics of your partners sexual past. It does more harm then anything.
todreaminblue Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 my gf and i have been together for a while now and we do some sexual stuff, i like bjs but she says they make her sick, and id be fine and understand this but im not the first person she has given them too, she did it to a guy in the past after just a couple days of dating and then he dumped her! and another time she didnt even date the guy, he fingered her and then she offered him a bj and they werent even dating!! and he left): when we first started hanging out we talked about how far we went and stuff but she kept certain things from me, i knew her 37 days and had been going out with her for 12 days before she gave me my first bj. idk y but this has always bothered me, she is in love with me like crazy and was never with those guys so i feel like she should want to give them to me when we get the chance, she doesnt want to though, i just feel like its messed up that ive given her everything i have and she cant do that for me, im not saying how i feel is right but i cant help it! i love her dearly!! she says they make her feel sick but i dont understand how she could do it for those bastards when she first got the chance and not me and ik how much she loves me, what should i do? hmmmm hard one....you have to respect that she isnt ready i do think it isnt fair there is some sort of reason why she doesn't like doing it......some guys think the idea of a blow job is to put it in until it goes past the epiglottis and wonder why the woman gags........women aren't actually supposed to eat it..... it is supposed to slide in the mouth not find a home in the stomach lining....i know that it is hard for guys to let the woman set the ryhthm but that is what needs to be done i know that men find it pleasurable but its time to think about something distracting while the rythmn is set by the woman who has had enough heart to blow your mind.....think of ice cream cones.....slowly enjoyed........not while she is doing it mind you or it will be over pretty quickly but that is a speed that a woman would enjoy and enjoy giving you.....a friend i know has problems with condoms the plastic and the smell almost like chloroform........that makes her gag the chemicals and the plastic....so she waits until she finds out that person is exclusive before treating her guy, so talk to your girlfriend be open let her know you like it, let her set the pace and think of something icy..and then think about returning the favor after you uncross your eyes....lol....im outta here.....deb
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 Just because she was churning butter with her mouth on these other guys doesn't mean she was into it. Women do a lot of things to please, appease or satisfy men in the hopes of gaining their affections and interest. So she could end up with a guy who's aggressive, he starts sticking her hands down her pants..she doesn't know how to say no, back away or feels uncomfortable or scared to reject him because she likes him so she lets him, he whips out his little pecker and gestures her to get on it, or does the ever so smooth pushing your head towards my crotch gesture or even just flat out asked If she could do it...where she's like "oh ok, well I really like this guy so maybe this is going to lead to something and he really likes me...maybe I'm special or something"...which I've heard women believe in ridiculousness such at that before instead of "oh this guy just wants me to suck him off so he can get himself off"....It's not as transparent to them and they often times do not see the situation for what it really is and think way too much of what guys do to represent their actual interest level which could be just needing a girl...any girl! Other thing you gots to know Is that many women actually hold off for guys sexually they like more than the guys they see as just jerks or quick flings...It should be the other way around, but yes for some women It's because they don't want to rush things or they see potential so they make you (the good guy or potential bf to her at least) wait around...isn't that fun! You made mistake in the man rule book...article 5, rule #134...Do not ask about a woman's sexual past in any detail. You started asking questions, I can tell....she just didn't throw this information at you. While It's ok to communicate be careful you want to know what you're asking...a lot of times it's not good, and you're quite young so as you get older you're going to have to start blocking this out of your mind because you're going to have a hard time respecting women If you're one of those guys that will take it all personal because women do very bad, nasty things too with boys they like...and yes a lot of these guys/boys not exactly the cream of the crop! quite embarrassing, demeaning, but that's because we're men and we know how obvious it is...but for some women it takes a while for them to connect those two wires. And others are just loosey goosey, can't fix those ones! too many issues there. As an older guy I'm going to tell you that you need to not take her sexual history personal...It's none of your business...you don't need to ask, chances are you won't even marry this girl! so stop blowing it up and worrying about, you're growing up, she's growing up, then you'll go your separate ways one day and you won't even have cared about this issue you've got now. This is a learning phase for you...so learn, so unless you think you're shacking up in the chapel of love next week, I wouldn't worry about things like this that will not matter in time...and next time do yourself a favor and not ask! It won't change anything, it'll change your opinion of the woman and you'll get butthurt over it. For now, forget about these others guys....communicate with her about what she likes, how she feels with you..gauge the intimacy and emotional level you guys have together and build on that...trust, communication, and she needs to feel heard, supported and comfortable with you. She might even see you as just using her sexually because maybe she's hurt from the past...maybe she associates that act with those guys or afraid you will leave her, she might not even like giving bjs (you've gotta ask), and maybe she just needs time. This is why relationships aren't easy...they're not just about sex and having good sex...sex for women is not just physical, you need to learn that. Women want to feel loved, desired, emotionally bonded, psychologically stimulated....men do it backwards, sex, sex, sex, penis in vagina, mouth on vagina, boobies, naked girls etc...that's not how women think or get turned on, once you realize that it's going to start making a lot more sense...If you can grasp it. What you're worried about for her, is something she'd like to forget, and put in the past...she doesn't want to hear about that. And it doesn't bring you any closer to getting more bj's in man speak.
Joaquin Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 (edited) When a girl refuses to give bj's it makes you feel like she doesn't really love you. I get that. And that she gave her ex's bj but withholds on you makes you feel like crap and less of a man, like she respected or loved these other guys more. I get that to. Lots of guys have had to deal with this kind of thing at one stage or another. Myself, I can't be with a girl who withholds on the bj's. Swallowing is terrific but not so important to me, but a girl that won't give bj's just isn't compatible with me. I have learned this about myself. You need to work out whether it's a deal breaker for u or not. And asking a girl about stuff she did with other bfs is nuts. Edited September 15, 2012 by Joaquin
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