jamesweston Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 my gf and i have been together for a while now and we do some sexual stuff, i like bjs but she says they make her sick, and id be fine and understand this but im not the first person she has given them too, she did it to a guy in the past after just a couple days of dating and then he dumped her! and another time she didnt even date the guy, he fingered her and then she offered him a bj and they werent even dating!! and he left): when we first started hanging out we talked about how far we went and stuff but she kept certain things from me, i knew her 37 days and had been going out with her for 12 days before she gave me my first bj. idk y but this has always bothered me, she is in love with me like crazy and was never with those guys so i feel like she should want to give them to me when we get the chance, she doesnt want to though, i just feel like its messed up that ive given her everything i have and she cant do that for me, im not saying how i feel is right but i cant help it! i love her dearly!! she says they make her feel sick but i dont understand how she could do it for those bastards when she first got the chance and not me and ik how much she loves me, what should i do?
Jamesblame Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 That's a tough situation. I've dated a few of these women and their situation is as follows: For whatever reason (low self esteem, past abuse) they've been taught that they need to buy somebody's love with sex. So they have a rather broad experience of sexual experiences. However, unlike healthy adults, they were unwilling to do most of it. They finally start to get healthy and date good guys (you). Now they know that you love them and therefore won't pressure them into sex. Unfortunately, this puts you in a **** position. I dealt with a 3 year relationship like that and the lack of regular sex ruined the relationship. And I just left a girl I was seeing because she pulled the same trick. It's fine to not want to have sex. But as a man and a person, you are allowed the right to have sex with your partner. Highschool, juvenile thought process tells you that it's wrong to leave a relationship for bad sex/ no sex. That may have been true in highschool. It's not true when you're an adult. I would leave, I have left. Trust me..your love and affection will be worn away by her disregard for your sexuality. It's just a red flag that you two aren't compatible. It's not all lost though. I'm still close friends with my ex of 3 years. I just now can have sex *(good sex) with my new partners.
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