Tincancan Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 (edited) I'm pretty much resigned to bad news, but thought the opinions of faceless internet peers would give me some closure! Anyway, it's a longish one to make sure I don't miss any details! This girl started at work about the same time as me. I liked her from day dot, but as usual, never really got the courage to even talk to her until about 6 moths after she started! So obviously I was kicking myself when she started dating another guy. Anyway, they had known each other over a year before this but apparantly the relationship only lasted about 3 months. She was pretty cut up over it. But while she had started to get into this relationship, I was finally starting to get into position to make a move myself. We were chatting, flirting, teasing.... the usual. To the point where she knew I liked her. Anyway, on a work night out after she had broken up, I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. She said "ya, definately!", but wanted to wait a few weeks as it was pretty soon after the break up. She gave me a kiss on the cheek as I was leaving and I was in heaven! Anyway, about two weeks later, (she had left her job in the meantime - nothing to do with me!!) I ask her if she's up for drinks that weekend. She says shes busy, going away for the weekend. I say: "Ahh, no problem. If you're free next weekend gimmie a shout". She agrees. That's about a month ago with no contact from either side since, bar the occasional comment on FB or a "like"! I don't wanna say anymore to her as I'll only be annoying her I think.... What's the opinion? Is my goose cooked? Edited September 15, 2012 by Tincancan
ja123 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 Yup, it's sounds like your goose is cooked.
ChatroomHero Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 I'm pretty much resigned to bad news, but thought the opinions of faceless internet peers would give me some closure! Anyway, it's a longish one to make sure I don't miss any details! This girl started at work about the same time as me. I liked her from day dot, but as usual, never really got the courage to even talk to her until about 6 moths after she started! So obviously I was kicking myself when she started dating another guy. Anyway, they had known each other over a year before this but apparantly the relationship only lasted about 3 months. She was pretty cut up over it. But while she had started to get into this relationship, I was finally starting to get into position to make a move myself. We were chatting, flirting, teasing.... the usual. To the point where she knew I liked her. Anyway, on a work night out after she had broken up, I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. She said "ya, definately!", but wanted to wait a few weeks as it was pretty soon after the break up. She gave me a kiss on the cheek as I was leaving and I was in heaven! Anyway, about two weeks later, (she had left her job in the meantime - nothing to do with me!!) I ask her if she's up for drinks that weekend. She says shes busy, going away for the weekend. I say: "Ahh, no problem. If you're free next weekend gimmie a shout". She agrees. That's about a month ago with no contact from either side since, bar the occasional comment on FB or a "like"! I don't wanna say anymore to her as I'll only be annoying her I think.... What's the opinion? Is my goose cooked? Probably but why not hit her up one more time and find something like a baseball game or something and just say, I wanna go to the game and need someone to go with let's go?
Author Tincancan Posted September 15, 2012 Author Posted September 15, 2012 Ah well, pretty much figured as much...... at least now I know! Thing I hate is why she said yes in the first place? I would have much preferred the whole "You're a great guy, but I don't like you like that" or other varient...... At least then you know where you stand straight away!!
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 Ah well, pretty much figured as much...... at least now I know! Thing I hate is why she said yes in the first place? I would have much preferred the whole "You're a great guy, but I don't like you like that" or other varient...... At least then you know where you stand straight away!! I wouldn't take it personal...the ex probably called her back after he broke up with her and started playing with her emotions again, stringing her along back and forth emotionally so she's likely stuck like a puppet on strings. You can't do anything about that, If she was cut up over this guy she still likely thinks there is a chance and a lot of guys will mess with a girl after that because they know they can still get the piece of her that they want...hell maybe even you've done it before! Anyway though, you can't fight over a woman who's still wrapped up into her ex...nor should you want to! It's just a waste of time, just leave her be, she might come around after she's been slammed around like a rubber chicken after a while, or end up back with him. If she's smart she's just getting over it before she can move on...which is best case scenario for you, but honestly very unlikely as women are extremely vulnerable after a relationship like that and buckle under the pressure...but again, depends on the kind of woman she is to know that, she might not be apart of that group but I wouldn't bet on it If I'm being honest, especially IF she's under the age of 30 which this sounds like.
Author Tincancan Posted September 15, 2012 Author Posted September 15, 2012 Cheers man, some stellar sense talked there! Yup, she's 25, so would fall into that age bracket.... Don't think the ex is back with her to be honest, but then again, could be.... Probably more likely she's hoping he'll text her....
ChatroomHero Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I say you got over the hump and asked her out and weren't exactly rejected. It may be too late but if you ask her out to something you might get a yes. Anything other than a yes should give you a clear answer, but in my opinion you still have an 'in' and nothing to lose.
Author Tincancan Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 I say you got over the hump and asked her out and weren't exactly rejected. It may be too late but if you ask her out to something you might get a yes. Anything other than a yes should give you a clear answer, but in my opinion you still have an 'in' and nothing to lose. You cruel cruel person getting my hopes up! Ha! I think there's a party coming up soon anyway where we'll probably both be in attendance. Might get chatting to her then and see how receptive she seems! Hopefully, you're right!
ChatroomHero Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 You cruel cruel person getting my hopes up! Ha! I think there's a party coming up soon anyway where we'll probably both be in attendance. Might get chatting to her then and see how receptive she seems! Hopefully, you're right! Well if you do get a good feeling and decide to ask her out, see if you can get a firm date and something planned, avoid the "I'll call you later" ambiguity.
The Way I Am Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 (edited) "Ahh, no problem. If you're free next weekend gimmie a shout". She agrees. Bad move. Don't suggest a girl call you if she's free. A better response would be, "How about next week?" If she said no again, you'd immediately know she was blowing you off. You wouldn't have to wonder why she didn't call you, and if you should try again. The fact she didn't counter the "I have plans" response with a suggestion for another day doesn't give me much hope for you. A girl who's really interested would be eager to offer another date -- unless she's slightly socially inept. If you must know for sure, don't wait for some party where her attention will be divided among many other people. Unless the party is only a couple days away, just get it over with and call her. Edited September 17, 2012 by The Way I Am
Author Tincancan Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 Bad move. Don't suggest a girl call you if she's free. A better response would be, "How about next week?" If she said no again, you'd immediately know she was blowing you off. You wouldn't have to wonder why she didn't call you, and if you should try again. The fact she didn't counter the "I have plans" response with a suggestion for another day doesn't give me much hope for you. A girl who's really interested would be eager to offer another date Yup! Totally agree with both of them! Regretted the first straight away! The fact she didnt counter it, as you say, is one of the main reasons I didnt have much hope in the first place!
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