IndyT Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 So I'm in a complicated situation right now. I'm 18 and a freshman in college, and the girl is a senior in highschool. A little background, I started talking to her in april. We hung out a lot over the summer but got into some arguments during the second half and ultimately led us to decide to "only be friends". During the first half of the summer, we never talked about where we stood, nothing was ever labeled or official. Recently though we've been getting closer again (I've gone home a few times, only 1hr drive, to see my family and visit her) and we've gone back to making out and what not when we see each other. However, I know she is afraid of relationships, her past ones have ended badly. I'm in a tough spot because I want to know what she thinks, like are we exclusive or what? I respect that she is afraid of relationships/getting hurt and doubt trying to have an official relationship while I am at college and she isn't is the best thing to do. There is a good chance she'll go to the same college next year though. I just don't want to feel like I should be loyal if there's a possibility she feels differently. I feel like asking her risks ruining whatever we have or makes it seem like I just want to hook up with others, which isn't true, I'd be with her if I could be. Its an odd situation because its not likely we will be in a relationship (Labeled) in the near future, but if she thinks we are exclusive, I don't see the difference between the two. Although if she doesn't think we are exclusive, that means we would more or less be FWBs except with more emotion in it. I just don't know how to go about resolving this.
InJest Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Just keep seeing this girl, while actively looking for new girls. You're in college, there are plenty of available women. Once this girl from home sees you're not as interested in her and that you are attractive to other girls, she will probably bring up where you stand.
C-V-L Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 If she's afraid of getting hurt. The first thing she will think of when you ask will be oh oh "if i dont answer properly i might get hurt" and she might do something stupid in self defence. Which could be anything, run away, lie, stay away from you. Who knows. The question is why is it so important that you need to know RIGHT now. Why can't you just let her tell you when she is ready?
Author IndyT Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 I'd like to know because I'm afraid that if one of us differs, and hooks up with someone else thinking we're not exclusive than it could ruin things between us, including our friendship. I just don't want to waste my freshman year being attached to her unless I know she feels the same
InJest Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 You're a fool. This girl is playing you. She likes your attention but that's it. Find a girl at school that you don't have to drive an hour to see.
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