working on things with the ex,,, said we need to work on friendship first

[rd1978]

ok me and my ex have been working on things,,, split for 3 months,, she called me constantly,, and we hung out with other people,, ,, i nevern called her 1 time since we split,she broke up with me,,, 2 weeks ago after she was giving me crap about not calling her back 1 night,,,, i told her how i felt and i wanted to have her in my future,, etc.etc. so we hung out a couple of time's nothing physical,,, just talked hung out etc.. she asked me to hang out.... everything seemed good seh was calling me like 3 times a day etc.. all about hanging out and doing things,,, then she says tonight,,, i was doing some thinking today and when we were togethor we didnt have much of a friendship,, and i agreed,, so she says we need to work on our friendship before we can do the relationship,,,

 

OK NOW this girl broke up with me was dating somone else and couldnt handle not talking to me ,, she got mad when i didnt tell her what i was doing.etc.etc.. its very obvious she cant handle things,,, there is no way she is going to handle being my "friend"

 

NOW what do i do ,, do i ask her can we still see other people,,, etc.etc... she wouldnt be able to handle me being with someone else,, and im thinking maybe she is still with this kid? i dont think so but i dont know,, she told me she was going to stop talking to him and i know its been over a week since she has seen him,,,,

 

she seems really into me,, but i know she is extremly insecure and jelious,,, and we talked about being friends and she straight out said she couldnt handle it,, for instance tonight my phone rang 2 times and i didnt awnser or look at it aND SHE WAS FREAKING ,, WHO IS IT,, WHO IS IT,, and i was like probally my friends {guys},, so it was ,, and she wanted me to scroll through my phone,, and she saw 2 girls names on my call list and she got all angry,,, WE ARENT EVEN TOGETHOR!,, i dont go through her phone,, i dont want to see and its none of my buisness,,,,,i know neither of us can handle it ,,her much more her than me....i dont know what the hell is going through her head... WHAT DO I DO???

 

i need to know how to be blunt with her on wheter or not we are going to be seeing other people, or should i just feel it out untill i gut suspicious? She is not back with me so i guess i have nothing to lose? other than going through the crap

again'.....

[StartingAgain]

I'd tell her to hit the road. This woman's a controller and is jerking you around.

[rd1978]

yeah your most likely right,, but i didnt want to write a novel so i didnt include all information,, i wasnt the best boyfriend,, i didnt put all the time in and each of us havent had any other "serious" relationship's ,,, i know she is trying to be tough to make it seem as im going to have to work for it, but seriously she is only fooling herself,,, i am ready to be everything she has wanted me to be but her time is limited she can only play "games and jerk me around so much before ive had enough,,, i mean for instance she said the friends thing but she wants to come over and watch a movie tonight and do something tommorrow,, im think she is just scared ,, but at the same time its hard as hell to act myself,, and put any feelings in not knowing whats going to happen,, if there werent 5 years invested thigns would be a different story,,,,, And if i KNEW IM MYE HEART I GAVE IT MY ALL and it didnt work then i wouldnt try again...

[faux]

Originally posted by rd1978

ok me and my ex have been working on things,,, split for 3 months,, she called me constantly,, and we hung out with other people,, ,, i nevern called her 1 time since we split,she broke up with me,,, 2 weeks ago after she was giving me crap about not calling her back 1 night,,,, i told her how i felt and i wanted to have her in my future,, etc.etc. so we hung out a couple of time's nothing physical,,, just talked hung out etc.. she asked me to hang out.... everything seemed good seh was calling me like 3 times a day etc.. all about hanging out and doing things,,, then she says tonight,,, i was doing some thinking today and when we were togethor we didnt have much of a friendship,, and i agreed,, so she says we need to work on our friendship before we can do the relationship,,,

 

I don't think that's possible. Unless you let a few more months pass by, it won't be very easy to work on any type of friendship. Don't string yourself along for even more pain. I recommend discontinuing all contact again.

 

OK NOW this girl broke up with me was dating somone else and couldnt handle not talking to me ,, she got mad when i didnt tell her what i was doing.etc.etc.. its very obvious she cant handle things,,, there is no way she is going to handle being my "friend"

 

A lot of time, without any contact, would have to go by before the two of you could actually try for a friendship.

 

NOW what do i do ,, do i ask her can we still see other people,,, etc.etc...

 

Why would you need to ask her permission, when the both of you are not involved in a relationship? I would see other people, if you are ready for that, and stop talking to your ex.

 

she wouldnt be able to handle me being with someone else,, and im thinking maybe she is still with this kid?

 

If she was seeing someone, what business did she have talking to you? What business did you have telling her you wanted her back, if she was seeing someone else? She is your ex, and you are stressing out from her. I think it would be best to stop worrying about who she is seeing, and to stop associating with her.

 

i dont think so but i dont know,, she told me she was going to stop talking to him and i know its been over a week since she has seen him,,,,

 

Not to sound too mean, but you only know what she tells you. What she tells you may not be the truth. It really is not your concern what she does with her life now, as there is no longer a relationship.

 

she seems really into me,, but i know she is extremly insecure and jelious,,, and we talked about being friends and she straight out said she couldnt handle it,, for instance tonight my phone rang 2 times and i didnt awnser or look at it aND SHE WAS FREAKING ,, WHO IS IT,, WHO IS IT,, and i was like probally my friends {guys},, so it was ,, and she wanted me to scroll through my phone,, and she saw 2 girls names on my call list and she got all angry,,, WE ARENT EVEN TOGETHOR!,,

 

If you aren't even together, why ask her permission to see others? This girl sounds like bad news and big trouble. Why are you bothering with her? Look at how she is stressing you out.

 

i dont go through her phone,, i dont want to see and its none of my buisness,,,,,i know neither of us can handle it ,,her much more her than me....i dont know what the hell is going through her head... WHAT DO I DO???

 

I recommend, again, saying goodbye to her, and no longer speaking to her. You were doing alright the first time around, with not talking to her. Unfortunately, when she pressed for contact you accepted. Don't make that mistake again.

 

i need to know how to be blunt with her on wheter or not we are going to be seeing other people, or should i just feel it out untill i gut suspicious? She is not back with me so i guess i have nothing to lose? other than going through the crap

again'.....

 

You don't need to discuss seeing other people with her. Apparently, she was already seeing someone else. She is your ex, and there is absolutely no requirement for either of you to ask one another what is okay to do. You are, at present, insisting on putting yourself through even more crap by continuing to associate with this ex.