LK30 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 (edited) Feeling a bit sad today. One of my colleagues who I've known for 3 years left work today. I admit I've always gone out of my way to help her as she's very pretty and kind of almost came close to her being 'the one' in my mind but she's got a boyfriend. We always got on well and she gave me her mobile number and e-mail address today. I bought her a little present and shook her hand (as we're quite professional!) and she just said 'oh come here' and gave me a hug. It was such a nice moment and I didn't want to let go but people were watching. If she had declared her love for me it would have changed my world!! She asked me to keep in touch and thanked for me everything I've done to help her through some tricky times. I wish I knew if she had ever liked me more but I'll never know. I guess these things happen, and I suppose I'm glad she's got a boyfriend as I had this image of telling her I really liked her but I didn't and it wouldn't be right. Sad times for sure. That song by Keane 'Everybody's changing' came on the radio as I drove home. Ironic :-( Edited September 14, 2012 by LK30
AlexCross Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Feeling a bit sad today. One of my colleagues who I've known for 3 years left work today. I admit I've always gone out of my way to help her as she's very pretty and kind of almost came close to her being 'the one' in my mind but she's got a boyfriend. We always got on well and she gave me her mobile number and e-mail address today. I bought her a little present and shook her hand (as we're quite professional!) and she just said 'oh come here' and gave me a hug. It was such a nice moment and I didn't want to let go but people were watching. If she had declared her love for me it would have changed my world!! She asked me to keep in touch and thanked for me everything I've done to help her through some tricky times. I wish I knew if she had ever liked me more but I'll never know. I guess these things happen, and I suppose I'm glad she's got a boyfriend as I had this image of telling her I really liked her but I didn't and it wouldn't be right. Sad times for sure. That song by Keane 'Everybody's changing' came on the radio as I drove home. Ironic :-( Turn that frown upside down and put on a happy face. 1
skippy13 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 dude, i feel for you man because i've found myself adrift in waters very similar to the ones you might find yourself in now. its a strange and cruel limbo indeed. If i may be so bold to say you might be feeling pretty ****ing more than just a bit sad right now. I might be more sensitive, but last time i felt a "bit sad" like that i drank a bottle of whiskey and managed to punch through a partition wall, my particular soundtrack in that case happened to be two john murphy tunes, sunshine and in the house, in a heartbeat. These are film soundtracks but then again so is your account of your "last day", you ask no question in your message sir which is telling, you just wish to make a public statement, a sinners confession, a martyrs admission, a heroic acceptance, an almost a black box transcript of the if this and if thats.... for a bit yes then STOP! and vow to yourself to never again put to put a girl on a pedestal so high that she has the power to humble you so much, because the only girls that enjoy being in that position are those that are suing you for divorce, and although all girls like to be hoisted onto a pedestal every so often, they dislike it and become weirdly resentful when they find out that privilege is unconditional. and so play out these narratives, the ones in which you become bold, the ones when she leaves her abusive BF and you save her, but try, and this is hard, never to think this outcome was something you could have affected, because the way you thought back then, you couldn't . . but rest assured sir it will get better, and here is the great upshot because you will have learnt at the end of it, when you come out the other side of this like tim robbins in shawshank, crawling through a mile of **** to come out clean the other side, a great thing: acceptance. acceptance of yourself, especially your past, those bits you hate most, those descions you most regret. once you accept these things, and accept they might happen again and probably will, you no longer fear them, you tell them to go **** themselves, and the less you fear the more you become confident. and you know who loves confidence man? chicks, they ****ing love it, can't get enough of it, they hate the fact there are not enough men with it. this is where you come in, and this whole thing, will be nothing than a distant bitersweet memory, and its a funny thing, you might not belive me now, but you will feel strangely happy every next time that keane tune comes on. sorry if i got carried away, it touched a nerve in me, had to write it, all the best man. safe
Author LK30 Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 Thanks Skippy, nice to know I'm not alone on this one! To be honest I've become quite immune to mega sadness and frustration as I'm just so used to it. I don't exist to any woman so I don't even bother trying any more. I just accept that I'm always going to be that 'friend' and nothing more.
jennysimpson Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Have you confess your love for her? making her confess what she feels for you would be awkward specially if you want her to confess first.
yongyong Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Well I had a similar experience. When I met her at work, she already had a BF. I really liked her personality and as I got to know her, I was being drawn to her. I kept my distance though since she had someone. They finally got married and I truly wished her the best. After a year, she seemed upset about the marriage. I listened to her and gave all advices I could to help her keep the marriage (she was the one begging for not to get a divorce) I KNEW 100% I shouldn't listen to girl's talking about their problems. But, I became her emotional tampon for several months. Just like any other nice guys, I thought I could have a chance if she gets divorced (I really wished her to stay in marriage but I couldn't control the husband) She was the nicest girl I've ever met (I think the marriage fell apart because she was too nice to him) So I thought she would appreciate my nice behavior.... She finally got divorced, told me I was the nicest guy she ever met and disappeared.... I felt dumb because I knew that was going to happen. Let me tell you as a fellow who's been there. Don't be a stupid Beta (I was too) Girls are emotional, not logical. They listen to their pussy just like we listen to our dick (something that draws to him that can't be explained) If you are not the guy who can make her pussy wet, then that's it. Whatever you do (getting her nice things, listening to her feelings, helping with her work etc), it won't change anything. Obviously you can't blame her in the end since you voluntarily did it. You could avoid getting hurt and wasting time though. Loving someone is not like volunteer work (people do it without expecting something in return) If there is no reciprocity, one side will get hurt. You should know how to figure out if the other person is worth to spend your time on..... If they automatically look at you as a friend, work on your appearance first. How do you decide if a girl is fxckable or not? She has to be attractive enough to you right? Do you see yourself attractive enough to bang those girls? Once you pass appearance test, you should know how to act around them. I highly recommend you to read PUA blogs related to nice guys. Another note, please don't listen to Women here. They will all say, personality is most important blah blah I like nice guys......he needs to be a gentleman... ALL F-ing B.S They know whom they want to spread their legs to when they meet him. Would they be honest about this? No.
Author LK30 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Thanks for your replies everyone - most interesting. The one that got away eh?! She e-mailed me last night from her personal account to my work account to say thanks for the present I bought her as it really made her laugh and she had to explain to her colleagues it was a private joke. Glad she was impressed as always was a bit of a joker around her - I guess that's my flirting strategy...people say 'make them laugh, it's an attractive quality!' She also said she's unable to access her work e-mails now she's left the company and didn't make a note of my mobile and personal e-mail address I'd sent her, but had remembered my work e-mail address. She said she'd like to stay in touch and to add her on Facebook. I've e-mailed her back and said I've found her profile but her settings are very secure and can't request her friendship despite trying. In some ways I don't want to see her profile as it'll just be full of photos of her and her bloke. Oh well, no pain no gain!!!!
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