irc333 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I was talking to a woman one day at a Pool Party, she was divorced twice. She said in her first marriage, she was young...married a guy she kind of grew up with. It hardly lasted a year....reason for the divorce....there just was no physical attraction. My jaw kinda dropped and I'm like "So why did you marry him in the first place if you weren't physically attracted to him?" Now it wasn't the case where he gained a lot of weight during the marriage....she just thought he was a good guy, respectful, gentleman, and indeed the kind of guy that IS marriage material. She thought it was a good idea at the time...but turns out he didn't do it for her physically. So, this means on the honey moon night, she had to stomach her food without throwing up after she saw him naked or something? How did she tolerate the love making during the course of their marriage?
runner Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 so they couldn't have figured that out before getting married ? wierd.
Imajerk17 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 (edited) irc, from these threads of yours, I often think your dream job is to be an assistant on the Jerry Springer Show. Edited September 14, 2012 by Imajerk17 3
Author irc333 Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 irc, from these threads of yours, I often think your dream job is to be an assistant on the Jerry Springer Show. LOL...I have always wondered if I could make MONEY somehow doing this, that'd be nice. lol
SmileFace Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 irc, I often think your dream job is to be an assistant on the Jerry Springer Show. No I am pretty sure he runs the love "algorithms" for many OLD sites. However I can see how this is possible. It is stupid but possible. I will use myself as an example. The guy I am talking to right now, we aren't in relationship because of the distance but we are working on that. He is everything I will want in a guy and the sex is amazing however I am not physically attracted to him but everything else blurs that out. I have no problem with his body or looks but it isn't my usual cup of tea. Who knows if we end up together or not but I do far I end up like in the situation you described. Which wouldn't be fair to him.
AD1980 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 No I am pretty sure he runs the love "algorithms" for many OLD sites. However I can see how this is possible. It is stupid but possible. I will use myself as an example. The guy I am talking to right now, we aren't in relationship because of the distance but we are working on that. He is everything I will want in a guy and the sex is amazing however I am not physically attracted to him but everything else blurs that out. I have no problem with his body or looks but it isn't my usual cup of tea. Who knows if we end up together or not but I do far I end up like in the situation you described. Which wouldn't be fair to him. You say you have no problem with his body or looks so how are you not attracted ot him then? Are you just attracted to a very certain type of men physically and nothing else turns you on?
SmileFace Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 You say you have no problem with his body or looks so how are you not attracted ot him then? Are you just attracted to a very certain type of men physically and nothing else turns you on? It's not that he is unattractive but he just isn't what I generally find attractive or go after. So yes as you question says I am attracted to very certain types of men. However both him and the other guy I have had strong feelings for have not been my usual type so I won't let that "type" stop me. It is something I need to get past. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 He is everything I will want in a guy and the sex is amazing See, that I don't understand. I could not have amazing sex without physical attraction. BUT, physical attraction doesn't have to mean that I think he's great looking or hot. It must be pheromones or something like that. It's the physical attraction that makes me want him sexually, and it is not because of how he looks. I don't really get it, but that's the way it is for me. OP - she probably married the guy based on their childhood friendship and in complete ignorance about physical attraction and sexuality. That doesn't mean that she found him repulsive. Obviously an ill fated marriage from the start. What's it to you anyway? You know - sometimes I think you don't want a relationship or even a fun dating life AT ALL. All of your concern with random women and their wants, unrealistic or not, is probably really sidetracking you from paying attention to somebody you might like and who might like you back.
PJKino Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I thought women werent as into looks as men and a good personality could make up for lack of great looks:laugh:
SmileFace Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 See, that I don't understand. I could not have amazing sex without physical attraction. BUT, physical attraction doesn't have to mean that I think he's great looking or hot. It must be pheromones or something like that. It's the physical attraction that makes me want him sexually, and it is not because of how he looks. I don't really get it, but that's the way it is for me. Going by your logic; which I agree with. I guess I do find him physically attractive because when I am with him it is different. However he isn't attractive to me. I can't explain how you can have one without the other. I find his personality attractive but not him physically. I don't know, its a bad example truthfully since we are still trying to figure each out and only had sex once. I am very confused.
Author irc333 Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 See, that I don't understand. I could not have amazing sex without physical attraction. BUT, physical attraction doesn't have to mean that I think he's great looking or hot. It must be pheromones or something like that. It's the physical attraction that makes me want him sexually, and it is not because of how he looks. Would the sexual performance alone trump the physical appearance of the individual? If you think about it, the private parts are all the same (and not all that attractive to look at) and have the same function, what does it matter the rest of the body, right? lol
SteveC80 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I thought women werent as into looks as men and a good personality could make up for lack of great looks:laugh: Contrary to popular belife looks are probably more important to women or they notice it more,most of womens life is vanity and judging their own looks other women and Men the idea women dont notice or can get past looks is a fallacy Most women are only attracted to a small group of Men but settle for emotional intimacy and the fact the media tells them they need a family and white picket fence I cant tell you how many married women hit on me in my younger days and talked about their ugly husbands and how they didnt satisfy them Thats why i tell guys who are in their 30's and never had sucess with women beware because if all of a sudden you get interest from a women chacnes ae you didnt just become attratcive overnight shes probably using you for emotional intimacy and a family and isnt all that attracted to you
SteveC80 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Going by your logic; which I agree with. I guess I do find him physically attractive because when I am with him it is different. However he isn't attractive to me. I can't explain how you can have one without the other. I find his personality attractive but not him physically. I don't know, its a bad example truthfully since we are still trying to figure each out and only had sex once. I am very confused. What "type" is he and what are you usually attracted to?
SmileFace Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 What "type" is he and what are you usually attracted to? What difference will the "type" make actually? The type isn't significant enough for me not to continue with him.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Would the sexual performance alone trump the physical appearance of the individual? If you think about it, the private parts are all the same (and not all that attractive to look at) and have the same function, what does it matter the rest of the body, right? lol No, because most of us are not going to get to the sexual performance part without wanting that person a lot. That's where the "physical attraction" comes in. But "physical attraction" is as much chemistry as looks, for me anyway. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Thats why i tell guys who are in their 30's and never had sucess with women beware because if all of a sudden you get interest from a women chacnes ae you didnt just become attratcive overnight shes probably using you for emotional intimacy and a family and isnt all that attracted to you That might be what is commonly known as "LOVE."
Woggle Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 That might be what is commonly known as "LOVE." Love is not about using somebody for how they make you feel. It is about sharing and building a life together. If it is just about how they make you feel then what is stopping them from leaving you for another emotional high when it presents itself?
Author irc333 Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 Thats why i tell guys who are in their 30's and never had sucess with women beware because if all of a sudden you get interest from a women chacnes ae you didnt just become attratcive overnight shes probably using you for emotional intimacy and a family and isnt all that attracted to you Funny you mention this. There was this one woman I "fooled around" with, VERY pretty, she only wanted me around for emotional intimacy. She would let me do anything with her in the bedroom, but when I asked her if she found me attractive, she'd skirt the subject...by saying, "I think you're a real sweet guy with a great personality and a good heart" She said she didn't want us to date exclusively, and even denied us even "dating" when someone one asked "How did you 2 meet?" And she was like "Oh, no, we're not together" Apparently, she was going through difficult times, had a hard time getting over her Ex as well, among other things. I guess if I was a guy and I wanted to exploit such a woman, I'd be in hog heaven.
ThaWholigan Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Physical attraction isn't limited to 6 packs and chiseled features, or short waist, wide hips and big breasts funnily enough, there are a broad range of things that people can find attractive. Don't get me wrong, looks matter to a large degree, yes. However, sometimes you can be uncontrollably physically attractive to a particular person because of their physical expression and the energy that their physical presence gives off. It's not quite internal, as it is just the way that person is physically inclined that makes you really into them. I've experienced it with girls who weren't exactly my type physically, but I was still attracted to them on a physical level. 1
SteveC80 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 That might be what is commonly known as "LOVE." No caring for someone you are not physically attracted to at all is called a friend These women who use men for this usually end up with a pool boy
SteveC80 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 What difference will the "type" make actually? The type isn't significant enough for me not to continue with him. I asked because you said you fear what the op brought up could happen between you two down the line Im just trying to gauge what type you usually go for and how different this guy is from that
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 That might be what is commonly known as "LOVE." I know that the "using" part is not love. But I contend that emotional closeness and family are more important than HOTTNESS.
SteveC80 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I know that the "using" part is not love. But I contend that emotional closeness and family are more important than HOTTNESS. you need all three to sustain a relationship,maybe you dotn need it when youre 70 but when people are stil in their sexual prime not being attracted physically to your partner is a recipe for disaester People want to underrate the animal lust part of a relationship but its what seprates a frienedship from relatinship imo becasue theyres tons of people u can connect with and love but how many are you also extremely attracted to?
Woggle Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I know that the "using" part is not love. But I contend that emotional closeness and family are more important than HOTTNESS. They should be but clearly many people don't feel that way.
SmileFace Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I asked because you said you fear what the op brought up could happen between you two down the line Im just trying to gauge what type you usually go for and how different this guy is from that Yea, that makes sense. It is probably what the TheWho said however I can see how it can be a problem in the long run.
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