asilisa Posted July 23, 2004 Posted July 23, 2004 So I loved/ love my ex, but the thing is -- he wasn't the best boyfriend. He blamed a lot of things on me, sometimes made me feel bad about who I was and cheated on me. We are broken up for a week now, and I find myself wanting him back. I try to fight it. I want him back because when he was good to me, he was good to me. But during the bad times I cried a lot. So thing is, I knew we weren't meant for eachother, but I loved him and I believe he loved me. When I feel like I want him back I try to remember how I felt at those bad times. But my stupid head always wants to remember all of those sweet things. I think mostly I'm scared that I'll never find someone to really truely love me, and I'll love that person just as much. I'm trying to fight my feelings for him guys, him living around the corner from my house sucks. Plus he is my sister's husbands friend. GRRR
supermom Posted July 23, 2004 Posted July 23, 2004 he wasn't the best boyfriend. He blamed a lot of things on me, sometimes made me feel bad about who I was and cheated on me. But during the bad times I cried a lot. So thing is, I knew we weren't meant for eachother Remember those times. Your ex sounds like my ex. Even though I went through the same things, he was hard to get over. I did finally meet a good man, and we had a child and got married (not exactly in that order lol) but you too will find someone who will treat you right - which is what you deserve. Make this your motto: MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Gave me some kind of "girl power" trip. I do agree it sounds corny but it helped me... Good luck
Author asilisa Posted July 23, 2004 Author Posted July 23, 2004 Thanks for your reply, seeing that it is the first week of our break up I go back and forth. I am seeking help from a doctor. Not only for this but because of upcoming things that are going to also tear me down. I also went thru a depression from 14-16 and never got help for it. So basically I never dealt with any of my problems. Also the fact that I'm so scared that I won't find someone to love me really worries me. It isn't like "If I don't have a boyfriend I'll die" More like "I'll never find a husband who will love me and cherish me, and if I do I won't feel the same way about him." Is that really normal? Its not like I don't have love from my family, so I don't understand it. I think my problem is that pain really terrifies me.
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