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A month of NC, Shocked by ex's behaviour


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Posted

So ive just come out of a bad split after 2 years, i never saw it coming,

she split with me a week after a holiday in which things seemed great

We spoke about the future, children engagement etc..

I will admit i maybe got a bit laid back and took her love a bit for granted,

But is that not natural when youve been together that long, less texts calls etc..

I would see her 3-4 times a week and this wasnt enough for her!:(

 

I started going to the gym to build up so she would think more of me

She said she loved me just as i was and dont get to bulky etc..

 

So back to the split, it was a week after a holiday i genuinly thougjt

She loved me she was so obssessed with me paranoid, i couldnt talk text

Or go out with any girl mates or she would be jealous..

Im 22 shes 18, she lost her virginity too me when she was 16

And i loved her too pieces...

 

During the week of the split she text me saying how much she loved me

And that she couldnt wait to cuddle up to me that night,

I took her too the movies and dinner and she slept with me like nornal

That night, the next day she went off and met her new bf, behind my back

To have a "friendly" chat and then she realised she didnt want

Me anymore, 2 years and she let a couple of friends influence her decision??

She didnt even try to talk to me about it, that same night she spoke

To me on the phone like normal and said she loved me..

 

The next day i got the text "we need to talk" she ended it

I didnt get a say she put herself single on FB all her friends

Wrote stuff as if too make out i was the bad person

Within days she was off flirting and meeting up with this boy

3 weeks later she slept with him and they were together!

Whatever happend to that lovely innocent quiet shy girl i spent

Two years with...

 

Shes since been so horrible to me, didnt give a crap how i

Was feeling and plasters everything everywhere about how happy

She is and how awesome he is, the boys and actuall jerk

Player, known for sleeping around, writes absoloutely foul

And disgusting stuff over twitter and is the complete opposite

Of me.. Smokes, jobless, has a bike, hes buying her stuff like crazy,

And it kind of makes me feel like **** even though we went on

Two holidays.. It hurts.. He was also a "friend"...

 

She said she had been feeling it for about a month that she wasnt happy

And that she got ahead of herself and was faking her feelings

Even tough it was a last minute holiday, im so headfooked,

How can she move on in a month, its been two more now and

Im still an absoloute mess i miss her so much and care for her

And i hate seeing her turn into what she is... Do i stay NC

it only took her 24 hours after i told her i wanted notjing to do with her

That she contacted me asking to be friends i ignored her

Since then shes wrote horrible stuff about me and told lies

Of how i treated her like ****, i treated her like a princess...

I should be the one whos angry, not her... Why is she doing this?

Posted

One: How old are you both?

Two: Why have you not blocked everything and deleted her off your FB?

 

You should read the link in my signature (Caliguy one) and deal with yourself.

 

Never, ever ask questions about "Why" they do this, that and the other.

There are no reasonable, logical, decent and completely satisfactory replies.

It's no longer about 'them'.

It's now all about 'you'.

Posted

Stop thinking about why and get on with life mate, she clearly isnt worth it. Just cherish the good memories you had and go no contact asap

Posted

She's 18. She has a lot of growing up to do and a whole world to explore. She doesn't know herself properly yet so how can you? You can see by her actions, she's immature. There is nothing you can do. Go NC. Do not look at postings etc. Move on. The pain will pass and you will find better. From what you've said it shouldn't be hard...

  • Like 1
Posted

Sorry, missed the ages....

Yeah.

As above.

Posted

The reason why she moved on so fast is because you said she has been feeling unhappy for about a month. She had a head start, which isn't fair, I know. She emotionally detached from the relationship before the ton of bricks hit you.

 

I think this is what happened in my relationship, though my ex was 28, but she was still immature and wanted other things.

 

It is what it is and try to accept it and you may never get answers to your questions. You think you know your partner and bam, totally different person/mentality.

 

Ex and I were so close to the American Dream, but she did have a lot of baggage that came with her. I accepted it and it's my fault for not trusting my gut instinct for 4 years.

  • Like 1
Posted

I think surviving a two year relationship with someone that age is not heard of often. So that would have made you 20 and her 16 right? thats quite a difference at that age and her immaturity is coming out now.

 

people who cyber rant about their ex's make me sick, although i have to admit at times i may have had a sly comment made but i'd never publicly slate my ex in front of her or our friends it just makes you look bad.

  • Author
Posted

Yeah she was 16 and i was about to turn 20, yeah its been over a month

now ive not wrote a single thing about them, just of the stuff im out doing

And enjoying and keeping myself busy, even if im killing inside, im not

Showing her that anymore, hes just everything she never would of stood for

When i was with her, all her immature little friends keep having

A go at all of my friends, and even my ex's old friends because

They have disowned her for what she has done, they constantly

Write about how ive got bo balls to write to thier responses

Or confront her new fella, truth said i cant find an inch of anger,

As much as i would like to smash his face in, im just not that

Type...

Posted

You say you haven't wrote anything but earlier you admitted to posting things to get her attention.

 

you have said what happened to the innocent girl/ the person you knew ect but in truth she probably never was that person, it's a hard thing to accept but we fall in love with what we wan't someone to be and it takes a lot of time for the real person to come out, years in fact. As for this being someone she would never go for people tend to say things the don't mean to avoid conflict, so if you asked if your girlfriend goes for bad boys and she says no this doesn't mean so actually means it. it is lying but it's just to keep you feeling secure and very understandable. Or on the other hand this may be a person that you're right and she would never go for/totally wrong for her ect but when a relationship doesn't work out we have a habit of doing one of two things. seeking out someone totally different and thinking that is what we want or repeating the pattern and getting with someone just like our ex as the confirm everything we believe already about the world around us.

 

When we are in relationship and they end as dumpee's people tend to say everything was going so well, we had talked of the future ect. but what you have to realise is that your reality of the relationship and hers are very different and if you were unhappy and you ended it she may have thought the same way. we never know truly what the other is thinking, if it is the thruth they are telling us or a rose tinted version to keep our feelings ok. This can seem like an awful thing to do lie to someone but think about it. if you were in a relationship and you weren't feeling it would you jump ship at the first bump? probably not and she wouldn't have either, she will have tried but inside she wasn't feeling it. And don't get into thinking other people influenced her decision, sure they can do that but you are just justifying the fact she broke up with you.

 

Hey im not lecturing, im a dumpee and it hurts like hell at times but it becomes clear the longer it goes on. im still not there yet and i have ups and downs but hopefully soon i will be ready to move on.

Posted
That she contacted me asking to be friends i ignored her

Since then shes wrote horrible stuff about me and told lies

Of how i treated her like ****, i treated her like a princess...

I should be the one whos angry, not her... Why is she doing this?

 

 

Because she's an immature brat who's not getting her way and since you pretty much told her for f*ck off, she's lashing out.

 

Best thing for you to do, keep on ignoring her and everything she's writing. You even said yourself, a lot of your mutual friends aren't buying into her crap. So, you've got nothing to worry about, they know the truth.

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