Would it be rude to ask for a full body profile pic?

[SJC2008]

Because he talked about how he wouldn't have gone for her if he met her in real life and even now, he doesn't really believe she is good enough for him.

 

I'm not too crazy about your word choice in "good enough". Where have I said I was to good for her? I'm well within my rights not to want to date a woman if she's too big for my taste. She messaged me and had only head shot's. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and it played out the way it did. So I'm supposed to throw every standard out the window? Sure she's nice and yes she is pretty but she's just too big to over look. You can stomp your feet but I'm not wrong. Just as hot bikini chicks aren't wrong for not wanting to date me because I don't have a six pack. Am I mad at them? No. Do I call them shallow? No. I have no right to get mad at a woman who can get an athletic man with a six pack because that's what she can get.

[yongyong]

You know you should just ignore those worthless people who spit poops through their mouth till their ass gets jealous.

 

I realized that's the culture here. Sure if you say, 'oh she is too fat I don't think I can date her' in public to random people, you will look dumb.

 

But when you confess your concern in a genuine manner, the thing is even in a place like this OR from your friend (especially female), you will hear such stupid things 'well she could be a great person'

What's their desire for future spouse? They don't mind someone a lot worse than them in looks dept?

Are they dating someone looking opposite? (then they have a right to say that)

I know they are the same person like me. That's why when I hear such stupid things, I want to literally punch their face.

 

You can guess the quality of women by looking at their comments.

Of course, by hearing comments like that, they are getting offended.

 

 

I understand they have no choice but to defend themselves.

 

If you see a dirty, ugly, nasty looking guy talking about 'hey forget about her looks, find the one with great personality'

would you listen to him? No because you know he is just saying that because he can't get the attractive one. he wants to take you down with him.

 

you know what you want when you see it. don't let anyone affect you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not too crazy about your word choice in "good enough". Where have I said I was to good for her? I'm well within my rights not to want to date a woman if she's too big for my taste. She messaged me and had only head shot's. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and it played out the way it did. So I'm supposed to throw every standard out the window? Sure she's nice and yes she is pretty but she's just too big to over look. You can stomp your feet but I'm not wrong. Just as hot bikini chicks aren't wrong for not wanting to date me because I don't have a six pack. Am I mad at them? No. Do I call them shallow? No. I have no right to get mad at a woman who can get an athletic man with a six pack because that's what she can get.

[oaks]

I decided not to date her. I was thinking about it but I just can't do it. Call me what you want but I'm uncomfortable about her size and that's the bottom line.

 

Not going to call you anything. You went on a date, and even though you had a good time you don't want to date her again due to something you found out on the date (even though perhaps you suspected it before). The best way to find out if you want date 2 is usually to go on date 1.

 

Try to be tactful in letting her down.

 

What will you do differently (or the same) next time you get a message from someone with no body photo?

[Emilia]

I decided not to date her. I was thinking about it but I just can't do it. Call me what you want but I'm uncomfortable about her size and that's the bottom line.

 

Just be nice to her when she contacts you. Most likely she will guess the reason.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

OP it looks like everyone is trying to convince you to bang this chick you are not attracted too. Why don't you stop Being Shallow and just bang this chick?

 

You were not attracted to her body but you liked her personality. So it will make you a wonderful person. :laugh:

(you will be called as 'shallow' if you drop her. so isn't it better to bang this chick?)

 

I am kind of being sarcastic here but I was serious about banging her comment

 

I don't think he should bang her at all. I think he should not go out with her again. He isn't exactly talking about her very nicely to begin with.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Oxy Moronovich

What's annoying is you keep bringing up porn when no one wants to talk about it at all. Stop it.

 

What? Why would I stop something a lot of men are greatly influenced by and is a big part of a lot of men's lives

 

Most of those posters like Caius Ballard are trolls and I put them on ignore. The rest don't go from thread to thread saying crap like, "Romance books and other female-centric media have greatly influenced female thinking for the worse" when no one is talking about/wants to talk about that crap. You do that kinda stuff when talking about men.

 

Oh give me a break, it isn't just posters like Caius Ballard. There are plenty of men here that make disparaging threads about women even if they aren't about romance novels. If you want to make threads about romance novels, go ahead. The reality is that porn is a big part of men's lives so sorry, that can't be ignored.

 

Don't you mean to say, "It's not exactly that he doesn't find her unattractive."? So he evaluated her breasts? Big deal. Are we not living in the 21st century where a guy can like a woman's breasts?

 

He disected her and evaluated the worth of each of her body parts like she wasn't even a full person. Yeah, I know guys do that all the time. Yeah, I know guys are okay with doing that to women. I just think it's crappy. Call me crazy like that.

 

Can I ask you a serious question? Is someone forcing you to read these threads at gunpoint? Yes, that's a serious questions.

 

Huh? That isn't a serious question at all. You already know the answer to that.

 

Your posts wreak of negativity (particularly toward men). And that's why I told the OP not to tangle with you, Jersey. Cuz you really are a downer to talk to. If posts here truly make you so emotionally negative, you may need to stop reading them. It's just a little internet forum where people come to vent and whatnot. It's not real life. Seriously. Get some help.

 

Oxy, you are really one to lecture someone else about negativity. Believe me, I am fully aware that I have some negativity toward men. Do I think it's completely unwarrented? No. But do you think you are some little ray of sunshine on this board? I mean seriously, you contribute negatively and hold negative views of women. Some of the comments I've seen you make in regards to women are quite negative.

[LittlePrince]

I don't think he should bang her at all. I think he should not go out with her again. He isn't exactly talking about her very nicely to begin with.

Which means they are perfect for each other. That's how a healthy relationship works.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

If he said something like

'her nose is crooked by 10 degrees, next!'

'she wears shoes size 9, that's big for a girl, next!'

'she had this mold on her back, next!'

then, I agree with your comment.

 

But being heavier than a man is one of the biggest deal breakers.

(is she going to lift him up and walk down the isle?)

 

I am not saying he must date her or even should date her. I think his conversation and view of her are off though. And it's not just him. I see men talk about women like this all the time. Yet they want women to appreciate them for who they are and not pick them apart. Yet men pick women apart all the time. Especially when it comes to their looks.

 

 

I will bring my midget friend. he has the best personality. would you date him?? You and I know you are the same person as him.

 

We do? Who said that?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Oh. So nothing to do with porn whatsoever, then. Thought so.

 

I bet SJC like most guys spends lots of time looking at porn so yes, his view of women and sexuality certainly has to do with porn.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Not going to call you anything. You went on a date, and even though you had a good time you don't want to date her again due to something you found out on the date (even though perhaps you suspected it before). The best way to find out if you want date 2 is usually to go on date 1.

 

Try to be tactful in letting her down.

 

What will you do differently (or the same) next time you get a message from someone with no body photo?

 

No , he should tell her that he likes her boobs and face but her body is gross to him.

[LittlePrince]

I bet SJC like most guys spends lots of time looking at porn so yes, his view of women and sexuality certainly has to do with porn.

Viewing Oprah forms a woman's views on men and sexuality. Next tine on Oprah.

[yongyong]

Men care about women's looks more than women care about men's looks.

If you don't like this, be a single forever or just date women (Btw, I am sure lesbians have standards for looks too lol)

 

So why is it normally accepted? Because men usually end up with women who's inferior in a social setting.

eg) male attorney marries his female secretary- perfectly normal.

female attorney marries her male secretary- have you seen it?

 

Women want to date men who's higher in position or makes more money than her. Men knows this so they wouldn't hit on women who has higher position or makes more money.

So if you are going to marry a guy who can provide, what do you have to bring? your personality? screw that.

 

Btw, if a woman is the provider, I say she can be picky about his looks

 

Do you want to date a rich guy? you better be hot.

Do you want to date a guy in the same status? you guys should look compatible.

Do you want to date a guy who's a lot more attractive than you? you better offer something. (eg: rich dad)

 

Of course, in reality it's different. I am just trying to make a fair statement.

 

Please stop stupid argument. I would encourage you to find someone like you. The guy just want to date someone who's compatible, you are saying it's wrong?

 

IMHO when a chubby american woman in her 30's want to marry a guy and be a house wife, I really think he should go to some european countries and pick up 20 year old barbie looking girl who will be more submissive.

 

 

 

 

I am not saying he must date her or even should date her. I think his conversation and view of her are off though. And it's not just him. I see men talk about women like this all the time. Yet they want women to appreciate them for who they are and not pick them apart. Yet men pick women apart all the time. Especially when it comes to their looks.

 

 

 

 

We do? Who said that?

[oaks]

No , he should tell her that he likes her boobs and face but her body is gross to him.

 

Why are you advocating rudeness? Is it what you would do?

[Imajerk17]

I'm not too crazy about your word choice in "good enough". Where have I said I was to good for her? I'm well within my rights not to want to date a woman if she's too big for my taste. She messaged me and had only head shot's. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and it played out the way it did. So I'm supposed to throw every standard out the window? Sure she's nice and yes she is pretty but she's just too big to over look. You can stomp your feet but I'm not wrong. Just as hot bikini chicks aren't wrong for not wanting to date me because I don't have a six pack. Am I mad at them? No. Do I call them shallow? No. I have no right to get mad at a woman who can get an athletic man with a six pack because that's what she can get.

 

You don't owe anyone an explanation man. You gave it a very fair shot. You weren't feeling it and you don't have to apologize for that.

 

I am sure you will do the right thing and be straight (and nice) with her. Tell her that you enjoyed your conversation with her but there isn't enough chemistry.

[SJC2008]

I bet SJC like most guys spends lots of time looking at porn so yes, his view of women and sexuality certainly has to do with porn.

 

By this you're implying that I'm holding out for a porn star or some gorgeous woman when that couldn't be further from the truth. I could of been with plenty of women in my life who I wasn't attracted to and used them for a steady piece untill the BBD comes along but I'm not like that. Heck I could of led her on and and slept with her a few times but I didn't and I'm getting hammered for not dating her because she's too big for my taste.

[LittlePrince]

Why are you advocating rudeness? Is it what you would do?

Oh I thought that was sarcastic.

[oaks]

Oh I thought that was sarcastic.

 

I can't tell with some posters.

[Janesays]

Men care about women's looks more than women care about men's looks.

 

I love it when people make statements like this. It's like they want to generalize their entire sex so they don't have to fess up to the fact that there is something pretty nasty about their personality. I'm sure it's really easy to say, "It's normal, get used to it!" than it is to say, "Yeah, I guess I am pretty shallow, I should work on that."

 

Problem is, MOST men AREN'T like that. Most men have the ability to recognize that woman are people, not body parts. That there are more ways that they can enrich their lives outside of being something pretty to look at. (Like a painting.)

[yongyong]

I am sure you do have greatest personality

(in this forum, fat & ugly women = great personality, hot blonde = dumb girl with a character flaw)

 

So please teach me. what should I do?

When I run into someone I don't even find attractive, should I approach her? (oh she might have 'great personality' :laugh:)

 

I find this girl not attractive at all but we get along well. Should I force myself to touch her?

 

how about I give you this example. I like this food. it's a fermented raw fish. it smells and looks like a sxit but you will like it once you try many times.

I don't care about your Personal Taste. You better listen to me and eat it.

If not, you are a moron who judges a food by its appearance and smell.

This is what your statement sounds like....

 

American Women.....:laugh:

 

 

 

 

 

I love it when people make statements like this. It's like they want to generalize their entire sex so they don't have to fess up to the fact that there is something pretty nasty about their personality. I'm sure it's really easy to say, "It's normal, get used to it!" than it is to say, "Yeah, I guess I am pretty shallow, I should work on that."

 

Problem is, MOST men AREN'T like that. Most men have the ability to recognize that woman are people, not body parts. That there are more ways that they can enrich their lives outside of being something pretty to look at. (Like a painting.)

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Why are you advocating rudeness? Is it what you would do?

 

I guess I don't think being "polite" is about being nice to people only at face value. What bothers me is that he is talking about her a certain way here which he would never do to her face. Do you understand my point now? I am not advocating he be rude. I am advocating he be mindful of how he talks about other people whether they are around to hear it or not. People believe they are "good" and "polite" and "kind" as long as they say nasty things and the person they are saying nasty things about isn't around to hear it.

 

Would he ever say to her that her boobs where nice and she had a pretty face but the rest of her turned him off? Probably not. Why say it here? What is the point? So the board knows that her body wasn't up to par with what he liked? That's all his personal ego. Nothing more. If it wasn't, he would have just said, "Well we met and I wasn't attracted to her." Case closed. Instead, he went into a detailed report about which features where pleasing to him and which weren't. That isn't about being polite or useful in anyway.

[LittlePrince]

I guess I don't think being "polite" is about being nice to people only at face value. What bothers me is that he is talking about her a certain way here which he would never do to her face. Do you understand my point now? I am not advocating he be rude. I am advocating he be mindful of how he talks about other people whether they are around to hear it or not. People believe they are "good" and "polite" and "kind" as long as they say nasty things and the person they are saying nasty things about isn't around to hear it.

 

Would he ever say to her that her boobs where nice and she had a pretty face but the rest of her turned him off? Probably not. Why say it here? What is the point? So the board knows that her body wasn't up to par with what he liked? That's all his personal ego. Nothing more. If it wasn't, he would have just said, "Well we met and I wasn't attracted to her." Case closed. Instead, he went into a detailed report about which features where pleasing to him and which weren't. That isn't about being polite or useful in anyway.

This is a place for advice. You leave details out the less effective the assistance can be no matter how hurtful to others those details can be or how insignificant someone is bound to feel they are due to a philosophical or political bent such as overly aggressive, to the point of being cartoonish, feminism.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Men care about women's looks more than women care about men's looks.

If you don't like this, be a single forever or just date women (Btw, I am sure lesbians have standards for looks too lol)

 

So why is it normally accepted? Because men usually end up with women who's inferior in a social setting.

eg) male attorney marries his female secretary- perfectly normal.

female attorney marries her male secretary- have you seen it?

 

Women want to date men who's higher in position or makes more money than her. Men knows this so they wouldn't hit on women who has higher position or makes more money.

So if you are going to marry a guy who can provide, what do you have to bring? your personality? screw that.

 

Btw, if a woman is the provider, I say she can be picky about his looks

 

Do you want to date a rich guy? you better be hot.

Do you want to date a guy in the same status? you guys should look compatible.

Do you want to date a guy who's a lot more attractive than you? you better offer something. (eg: rich dad)

 

Of course, in reality it's different. I am just trying to make a fair statement.

 

Please stop stupid argument. I would encourage you to find someone like you. The guy just want to date someone who's compatible, you are saying it's wrong?

 

IMHO when a chubby american woman in her 30's want to marry a guy and be a house wife, I really think he should go to some european countries and pick up 20 year old barbie looking girl who will be more submissive.

 

Then 5 years after she has her green card she will divorce him for young hot american gym rat with rock hard abs and shoulders the size of a trailer, taking whatever savings he managed to accumlate from his 9 to 5 job at the DMV.

 

I digress, this isn't about just being attracted to women or not. This is about how men talk about women. I have no issue with him not being attracted to her and not going out on another date. I have issue with him pointing out specific features he liked or didn't like because he has some strange need to feel validated about his choices based on her looks.

 

By the way, you simply don't here women here starting threads evaluating men based on money. Show me one thread on here that has been started where a woman talks about, disects or picks a part on men and their net worth. If a woman made a simliar postint it would sound something like this:

 

I've been chatting with a very nice man online. He initiated contact so I'm weary about that (IME men who initiate online can be overly aggresive). Anyway I find him attractive but he himself said that he doesn't make a lot of money. He hasn't said how much money he makes but has been kind of vauge about the details.

 

First of all, I'm not shooting for rich stockbrokers or CEOs so I don't think I"m being shallow. The not making a lot of money doesn't bother me, but the fact that he isn't giving more details on his finacial portfolio is a little troublesome. My rule of thumb if you will is, as long as he's not making less than me ratio wise and I'm attracted, we're go flight! The last man who didn't give his financial information LITERALLY only worked at a starting level entry salary.

 

Would it be rude of me to ask for his full fiancial statements? How would I do it? I don't think I could bring myself to it IMO.

 

Then maybe this person that wrote this post would talk about how she liked this man. How he had a nice personality but he really didn't have much going for him financially and she just couldn't bring herself to be with a man like that.

 

But guess what? You don't see women here start those kind of posts picking men apart finacially. You don't even see women here staring threads that pick apart men physically to the degree you see men do here.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

By this you're implying that I'm holding out for a porn star or some gorgeous woman when that couldn't be further from the truth. I could of been with plenty of women in my life who I wasn't attracted to and used them for a steady piece untill the BBD comes along but I'm not like that. Heck I could of led her on and and slept with her a few times but I didn't and I'm getting hammered for not dating her because she's too big for my taste.

 

You aren't listening. I am not hammering you for not being attracted to her. I am hammering you for the way you choose to talk about her. In a way you would never do to her face. At least be honest about that. You dissected her body parts like she wasn't a full person. And you would never do that to her face. Yet you think this makes you a good guy.

 

Let me repeat this so I am clear. I don't blame you for not being attracted to her. We aren't going to be attracted to everyone and it's important to be attracted to your partner. I doubt any man or woman wants to be with someone that isn't physically attracted to them. What gets me is the way you choose to talk about her. And it's something I see very common among men. You choose to talk about her in terms of her being just body parts. Yo ucould have said, "well I simply wasn't attracted to her." But you went into a discription about the body parts that where pleasing to you and the ones that weren't. That is all about your ego. And it's not a fair thing to do behind her back.

[LittlePrince]

Then 5 years after she has her green card she will divorce him for young hot american gym rat with rock hard abs and shoulders the size of a trailer, taking whatever savings he managed to accumlate from his 9 to 5 job at the DMV.

Then my uncle's marriage, his two half Filipino children, and his four grandchildren must all be imaginary. They simply never happened since his wife left him as soon as she could become established here.

[yongyong]

Why the fxck does he have to disclose his financial portfolio for some chick he met online? Were you guys about to get engaged? did you guys talk about future financial plan together?

(As a man, it's like asking a woman how many times her pussy has been drilled, if she had any abortion, if she did anal, if she did any surgery to enhance her looks, if she did dirty sexual act etc)

 

I'm not shooting for rich stockbrokers or CEOs so I don't think I"m being shallow. The not making a lot of money doesn't bother me, but the fact that he isn't giving more details on his finacial portfolio is a little troublesome. My rule of thumb if you will is, as long as he's not making less than me ratio wise and I'm attracted, we're go flight! The last man who didn't give his financial information LITERALLY only worked at a starting level entry salary.

 

let me translate this into men's words.

 

'I am not shooting for a victoria secret model or Miss (state) so I don't think I'm being shallow. Not looking absolutely gorgeous doesn't bother me. But the fact that she doesn't expose her naked body in a bright light and wearing make up, not showing washed face is a troublesome. I just expect her to have flat abs with a nice curve from hip to back, full C boobs, clean face with no wrinkles. The last woman who didn't reveal her full naked body LITERALLY had nasty cellulite on her ass, molds on her face, extra fats on her belly and push up bras.'

 

The thing is you are exactly an Average American Woman- Meaning if a guy has lower social status, you won't be interested. Do I have a problem with it? NO I am sure you still want to find a charming guy in that category.

(you won't go out with a guy flipping burger. You will screen for their job and then go out to see if you guys are compatible)

 

It's the f-ing same for guys. We will go after the ones we like and see if we are compatible.

 

I keep saying this. you and I have the same desire. we want to be with someone who meets our standard.

 

the difference is that I am being honest and you are just making a B.S

to make yourself look cool (no wonder why you guys voted for Bill Clinton as a president)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then 5 years after she has her green card she will divorce him for young hot american gym rat with rock hard abs and shoulders the size of a trailer, taking whatever savings he managed to accumlate from his 9 to 5 job at the DMV.

 

I digress, this isn't about just being attracted to women or not. This is about how men talk about women. I have no issue with him not being attracted to her and not going out on another date. I have issue with him pointing out specific features he liked or didn't like because he has some strange need to feel validated about his choices based on her looks.

 

By the way, you simply don't here women here starting threads evaluating men based on money. Show me one thread on here that has been started where a woman talks about, disects or picks a part on men and their net worth. If a woman made a simliar postint it would sound something like this:

 

I've been chatting with a very nice man online. He initiated contact so I'm weary about that (IME men who initiate online can be overly aggresive). Anyway I find him attractive but he himself said that he doesn't make a lot of money. He hasn't said how much money he makes but has been kind of vauge about the details.

 

First of all, I'm not shooting for rich stockbrokers or CEOs so I don't think I"m being shallow. The not making a lot of money doesn't bother me, but the fact that he isn't giving more details on his finacial portfolio is a little troublesome. My rule of thumb if you will is, as long as he's not making less than me ratio wise and I'm attracted, we're go flight! The last man who didn't give his financial information LITERALLY only worked at a starting level entry salary.

 

Would it be rude of me to ask for his full fiancial statements? How would I do it? I don't think I could bring myself to it IMO.

 

Then maybe this person that wrote this post would talk about how she liked this man. How he had a nice personality but he really didn't have much going for him financially and she just couldn't bring herself to be with a man like that.

 

But guess what? You don't see women here start those kind of posts picking men apart finacially. You don't even see women here staring threads that pick apart men physically to the degree you see men do here.