Would it be rude to ask for a full body profile pic?

[SJC2008]

What I don't understand is that you said if you had seen her prior you wouldn't have went on the date but you have seen her and are going on a next date - yet you are keeping your options open... are you just leading her on? I don't believe that your physical requirements have just went out the window so why a next date?

 

Great point I understand your take. I don't want to lead her on and won't. If she wants to see me agian I'll go out with her and I'd say by the 3rd date I should know if I feel comforable pursuing something with her. TBS I wasn't really attracted to the girl from my shallow thread and she was a legitimate a few extra (listed herself as average go figure) but this girl is very pretty and there seems to be chemistry.

 

All in all it's a tough decision. I've been thinking about it today and have been flip flopping on it so who knows? Have any of you men ever dated a woman who you thought you wouldn't??

[sweetheart5381]

Because he is clearly on the fence about the whole thing. He wouldn't have given her a shot if it wasn't for online dating. Lots of people miss good oppurtunities because of their more shallow judgements.

 

She doesn't have the body he most wants in a woman. Be damned that he gets along with her. But hey, at least her breasts are good. That's what really counts after all. Oh I know I know...men are "visual"...men need something "visual". So what if he is judging her breasts like a pair of finely grown pumpkins entered into the anual local town Octoberfest fair, it's all good right? Lets see the score her breasts invoked..a 7? 8? 9? 10? lets see how many numbers men can come up with to catalog women. Yay! Because we all know men are allowed to judge and treat women like that right? Oh no DY, you are just being silly. Men love women for their insides too! This makes you guys so perfect and wonderful even as you judge and put actual rating numbers on women and their individual body parts like they were blow up dolls and not real people.

 

I know no guy will actually come out and say that in so many words but that's the basic gest of what goes down on here among guys and I see it way too often. I know my post will put some men's backs up while ignoring the truth in my posts and how they take women apart for their body parts yet still want to be recongnized as 'good guys" that really appreciate women for who they are. Sorry guys but you can't have it both ways. You can't talk about how you aren't shallow but only ever talk about women's bodies and how you don't or do want to date wome nbased on her indivudal body parts liek she isn't a whole person.

 

I hear ya.

 

My current dude said about me when I asked him if he was interested in me for awhile (yes, I am pretty damn direct) and he answered... "a pretty face, gorgeous hair and great cleavage... of course I always wanted you".

 

Funny thing is that he was always very sensitive with me too. We are friends and he always cares about my feelings.

 

I sorta think men are conditioned to act that way. They may really think that women want hear that sort of thing.

[Woggle]

Would any of the women here go on a date with a man without knowing his height then continue interest if he was short? If the answer is no then why are getting mad at the OP for having his own standards. Many women are no different than he is.

[SJC2008]

Because he is clearly on the fence about the whole thing. He wouldn't have given her a shot if it wasn't for online dating. Lots of people miss good oppurtunities because of their more shallow judgements.

 

She doesn't have the body he most wants in a woman. Be damned that he gets along with her. But hey, at least her breasts are good. That's what really counts after all. Oh I know I know...men are "visual"...men need something "visual". So what if he is judging her breasts like a pair of finely grown pumpkins entered into the anual local town Octoberfest fair, it's all good right? Lets see the score her breasts invoked..a 7? 8? 9? 10? lets see how many numbers men can come up with to catalog women. Yay! Because we all know men are allowed to judge and treat women like that right? Oh no DY, you are just being silly. Men love women for their insides too! This makes you guys so perfect and wonderful even as you judge and put actual rating numbers on women and their individual body parts like they were blow up dolls and not real people.

 

I know no guy will actually come out and say that in so many words but that's the basic gest of what goes down on here among guys and I see it way too often. I know my post will put some men's backs up while ignoring the truth in my posts and how they take women apart for their body parts yet still want to be recongnized as 'good guys" that really appreciate women for who they are. Sorry guys but you can't have it both ways. You can't talk about how you aren't shallow but only ever talk about women's bodies and how you don't or do want to date wome nbased on her indivudal body parts liek she isn't a whole person.

 

Yes because of more shallow judgements. Nevermind the fact that most women online get a big ego from messages and all of a sudden are to good for the men the used to date. I have never been naive about my looks, I'm a cute/handsome man. I'm not hot nor ripped and have never even TRIED to get a hot girl at all. I know what league I'm in. I can be perfectly happy with a woman who I'm attracted to and I don't mind chunky girls but if she's bigger than me that does not make me shallow by the least. He'll if that's the case then SHE'S the shallow one for trying to date thinner than her while hiding her figure. Why can't she date a good looking fat guy?

[Oxy Moronovich]

Yes because of more shallow judgements. Nevermind the fact that most women online get a big ego from messages and all of a sudden are to good for the men the used to date. I have never been naive about my looks, I'm a cute/handsome man. I'm not hot nor ripped and have never even TRIED to get a hot girl at all. I know what league I'm in. I can be perfectly happy with a woman who I'm attracted to and I don't mind chunky girls but if she's bigger than me that does not make me shallow by the least. He'll if that's the case then SHE'S the shallow one for trying to date thinner than her while hiding her figure. Why can't she date a good looking fat guy?

You need to stop arguing with Jersey Shortie, dude. She's extremely biased in favor of women.

 

Back to the original post: you've just learned that you shouldn't bother with chicks who don't show decent full-body pics while OLD. Don't go out on another date with this huge gut chick. Find someone else.

[SJC2008]

Would any of the women here go on a date with a man without knowing his height then continue interest if he was short? If the answer is no then why are getting mad at the OP for having his own standards. Many women are no different than he is.

 

Thanks woggle. I'm honest about my weight and even took caution ans still listed myself as a few extra when I was 185. I've been told I should do about average but I didn't. Know at 215/220 I'm a legitimate a few extra lol.

 

I've gotten 9 dates online in about 14 months so let me try head only shots and see if that number goes up or down.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Yes because of more shallow judgements. Nevermind the fact that most women online get a big ego from messages and all of a sudden are to good for the men the used to date. I have never been naive about my looks, I'm a cute/handsome man. I'm not hot nor ripped and have never even TRIED to get a hot girl at all. I know what league I'm in. I can be perfectly happy with a woman who I'm attracted to and I don't mind chunky girls but if she's bigger than me that does not make me shallow by the least. He'll if that's the case then SHE'S the shallow one for trying to date thinner than her while hiding her figure. Why can't she date a good looking fat guy?

 

I dated online and I never got a "big ego" just because I got messages from men. What makes you think that?? because some women have rejected you and you thought they were in your "league". I mean, what is a "league" anyway. Why do you get to determine who is in whose "league". Maybe someone's great sense of humor or intelligence makes them above "leagues" as well. I don't even know what people mean when they say stuff like "leagues" and about how they try to stay in theirs and other people should do the same.

 

Maybe she isn't trying to date a man because he is thinner then her but likes him for other qualities. We don't really know because we don't know what she is saying. But we do know what you are saying. How do you even know she hasn't dated a good looking fat guy before??????

[Disenchantedly Yours]

You need to stop arguing with Jersey Shortie, dude. She's extremely biased in favor of women.

 

Back to the original post: you've just learned that you shouldn't bother with chicks who don't show decent full-body pics while OLD. Don't go out on another date with this huge gut chick. Find someone else.

 

And you are a master of equality? Come on. You know yourself well enough to know the truth about that one Oxy.

 

Go read my posts to RubySlippers about her current boyfriend situation and you wouldn't say stuff like "she is in favor of women more". I am in favor of treating people decently. Men or women. I don't go around rating men on sliding scales of 1-10 based on how much their incomes are. Is it too much to ask men not to do the same? ANd not ask men to pic women apart like they were a collection of Mrs.Potatoe head parts put together to please him?

[Woggle]

And you are a master of equality? Come on. You know yourself well enough to know the truth about that one Oxy.

 

Go read my posts to RubySlippers about her current boyfriend situation and you wouldn't say stuff like "she is in favor of women more". I am in favor of treating people decently. Men or women. I don't go around rating men on sliding scales of 1-10 based on how much their incomes are. Is it too much to ask men not to do the same? ANd not ask men to pic women apart like they were a collection of Mrs.Potatoe head parts put together to please him?

 

The funny thing is I think her BF is being unreasonable and expecting her to be a mind reader.

[Oxy Moronovich]

And you are a master of equality? Come on. You know yourself well enough to know the truth about that one Oxy.

 

Go read my posts to RubySlippers about her current boyfriend situation and you wouldn't say stuff like "she is in favor of women more". I am in favor of treating people decently. Men or women. I don't go around rating men on sliding scales of 1-10 based on how much their incomes are. Is it too much to ask men not to do the same? ANd not ask men to pic women apart like they were a collection of Mrs.Potatoe head parts put together to please him?

 

Jersey, you are in craploads of threads lumping all men into one negative basket. It's harder to find anyone as bias as you. I stay out of a lot of threads and I do not derail them by bringing up porn every other post.

 

As far as scales go, I've already stated I'm against them long ago:

 

Don't judge women by scales--none of that how hot is she on a scale of 1-10 BS. If I find her attractive then that's that.

 

Here's the link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/322394-i-have-question-men-women

 

You keep lumping men together. But you like to overlook several things about men: some of them agree with you; some men realize they have faults and try to change them; and some men don't want to talk about porn every time they have a discussion with you. All of these things are in this thread:

 

1. I've agreed with you women shouldn't be judged on scales.

2. The OP has faults regarding judging a woman based mainly on looks and tries to change that (the fact that he is willing to go on a 2nd date with a woman he doesn't find attractive points this out).

3. And many men don't understand why you brought up porn.

 

Like I said, you're extremely biased toward making women victims/making men abusers. And you can't shut up about porn. You need help with your issues. Seriously.

[yongyong]

Only Western women think 'I am bigger than him and he is a shallow ******* if he writes me off because of my weight'

 

There are some guys with fat fetish. there are some guys who end up marrying a fat chick because it was the best they could get.

 

In reality, what kind of men want to date a heavier girl?

it's just reality. men don't like fat women. if you want to brain wash yourself, you can.

 

 

 

 

Well as long as she has a movie star rack that's what counts.

 

You shouldn't force yourself to date someone you feel like you have to make concessions for. You aren't doing her or you any favors.

 

Are you shallow for not wanting to date a woman who is bigger then you? I don't know. But you seem really hung up on her body more then anything else. At least you can sooth your eyes with her movie star rack.

 

Remember, she isn't really a person. She's just a woman you are going to bang so her body better be good right?

 

This is why porn screws men up.

[sweetheart5381]

Great point I understand your take. I don't want to lead her on and won't. If she wants to see me agian I'll go out with her and I'd say by the 3rd date I should know if I feel comforable pursuing something with her. TBS I wasn't really attracted to the girl from my shallow thread and she was a legitimate a few extra (listed herself as average go figure) but this girl is very pretty and there seems to be chemistry.

 

All in all it's a tough decision. I've been thinking about it today and have been flip flopping on it so who knows? Have any of you men ever dated a woman who you thought you wouldn't??

 

Funny how so many men look for validation from their male counterparts.

 

At the end of the day, it is your decision OP. I personally know plenty of men that profess to appreciate a "Twiggy" yet prefer to actually touch real, soft, full breasts and a plump full, soft ass, rather than skin and bones.

 

There is a girl I work with that has no natural curves and she is very slim. From behind without the long hair she looks like a man.. BUT she continues to try so hard to be fat-free, poor thing has had a boob job that went awry (7 surgeries later) and still has no 36-24-36 figure. Ya she has a D-cup now but nothing to go with it. Sad thing is, she has a great personality too, just doesn't have the self-esteem to be herself. She would look better with a cheeseburger or 2 in her tummy

 

OP, appreciate the whole package and what it has to offer. If you are interested, her weight should not matter to you, or your friends.

[sweetheart5381]

Ultimately I look to be with a man that is healthy, in terms of, can we do things together, as in, can we have great sex together.

 

He can be a lil skinny, he can be a lil fat, but if I am attracted it won't matter.

 

I certainly don't look for validation from anyone else.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Funny how so many men look for validation from their male counterparts.

 

At the end of the day, it is your decision OP. I personally know plenty of men that profess to appreciate a "Twiggy" yet prefer to actually touch real, soft, full breasts and a plump full, soft ass, rather than skin and bones.

 

There is a girl I work with that has no natural curves and she is very slim. From behind without the long hair she looks like a man.. BUT she continues to try so hard to be fat-free, poor thing has had a boob job that went awry (7 surgeries later) and still has no 36-24-36 figure. Ya she has a D-cup now but nothing to go with it. Sad thing is, she has a great personality too, just doesn't have the self-esteem to be herself. She would look better with a cheeseburger or 2 in her tummy

 

OP, appreciate the whole package and what it has to offer. If you are interested, her weight should not matter to you, or your friends.

So women don't look for validation from their female counterparts? Yeah right. Women are far worse when it comes to getting validation from their counterparts than men. Fact.

 

I love how people keep trying to act as if it's wrong for the dude not to feel physically attracted to a chick who likes him. People are basically saying, "OP, appreciate her personality. It doesn't matter if you're not sexually attracted to her. It's wrong for a guy to place so much emphasis on physical attraction when dating a woman." What a load of malarky.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Oxy Moronovich

Jersey, you are in craploads of threads lumping all men into one negative basket. It's harder to find anyone as bias as you. I stay out of a lot of threads and I do not derail them by bringing up porn every other post.

 

As far as scales go, I've already stated I'm against them long ago:

 

I am not derailing anything. I believe that a lot of men today have unrealistic expectations about what they expect from women. I think this comes from a lot of male-centric media. Is that really that offensive to you?

 

I also think it's bullcrap that you said you can't find anyone as biased as i am. You just convienently ignore a large chunk of the men here that are largely more biased then I am Oxy. You aren't exactly an outline in eglatarianism.

 

 

Here's the link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/322394-i-have-question-men-women

 

I liked what you had to say there. Although, depending on how old you are, not sure I agree you should go for 18 or 60 year olds.

 

You keep lumping men together. But you like to overlook several things about men: some of them agree with you; some men realize they have faults and try to change them; and some men don't want to talk about porn every time they have a discussion with you.

 

Well, I don't "like" to overlook things but you make some fair points here that it may shock you I agree with. Even the "men don't want to talk about porn everytime they have a discussion with me" part. But regardless, porn has greatly influneced men and their sexuality.

 

All of these things are in this thread:

 

1. I've agreed with you women shouldn't be judged on scales.

2. The OP has faults regarding judging a woman based mainly on looks and tries to change that (the fact that he is willing to go on a 2nd date with a woman he doesn't find attractive points this out).

3. And many men don't understand why you brought up porn.

 

I see it differenly. It's not exactly that he doesn't find her unattractive. It's just that she isn't his ideal shape. Which is why he has evaluated her breasts seperately from her weight.

 

I brought up porn because it has greatly shaped a lot of men's interactions and views of women in general.

 

 

Like I said, you're extremely biased toward making women victims/making men abusers. And you can't shut up about porn. You need help with your issues. Seriously.

 

And you are extremely biased to painting women a certain way and making excuses for men just the same. Maybe I can't shut up about porn, maybe I have issues, but anything I say on this board I am being honest about and talking from my heart. Whether you like what I have to say or not.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

So women don't look for validation from their female counterparts? Yeah right. Women are far worse when it comes to getting validation from their counterparts than men. Fact.

 

I love how people keep trying to act as if it's wrong for the dude not to feel physically attracted to a chick who likes him. People are basically saying, "OP, appreciate her personality. It doesn't matter if you're not sexually attracted to her. It's wrong for a guy to place so much emphasis on physical attraction when dating a woman." What a load of malarky.

 

Oxy, in your advice to me you said "some men agree with me", and that other men do this or that. But in this post you talk about how women in general are far worse about something then men. How is that fair considering the lecture you just gave me about what some men do and wht some men don't do?

 

How are women far more worse then men anyway?

 

It's not that I don't think a guy should be attracted to a woman to date her. I hope he is! No woman wants to date a guy that isn't attracted to her. I just am sick of alot of conversations on here being guys coming looking for help and talking about how nice a woman is but how this feature is great but this feature isn't....and how it's apparently her physical features that are really the tipping point for him. Not anything else.

[yongyong]

OP it looks like everyone is trying to convince you to bang this chick you are not attracted too. Why don't you stop Being Shallow and just bang this chick?

 

You were not attracted to her body but you liked her personality. So it will make you a wonderful person. :laugh:

(you will be called as 'shallow' if you drop her. so isn't it better to bang this chick?)

 

I am kind of being sarcastic here but I was serious about banging her comment

 

 

So women don't look for validation from their female counterparts? Yeah right. Women are far worse when it comes to getting validation from their counterparts than men. Fact.

I love how people keep trying to act as if it's wrong for the dude not to feel physically attracted to a chick who likes him. People are basically saying, "OP, appreciate her personality. It doesn't matter if you're not sexually attracted to her. It's wrong for a guy to place so much emphasis on physical attraction when dating a woman." What a load of malarky.

[SJC2008]

OP it looks like everyone is trying to convince you to bang this chick you are not attracted too. Why don't you stop Being Shallow and just bang this chick?

 

You were not attracted to her body but you liked her personality. So it will make you a wonderful person. :laugh:

(you will be called as 'shallow' if you drop her. so isn't it better to bang this chick?)

 

I am kind of being sarcastic here but I was serious about banging her comment

 

I'm attracted to her face and her breasts. But she is flirting with BBW so what am is supposed to do. She's so pretty that I'm tempted to go with I but then I keep changing my mind. This sucks!

[ThaWholigan]

I'm attracted to her face and her breasts. But she is flirting with BBW so what am is supposed to do. She's so pretty that I'm tempted to go with I but then I keep changing my mind. This sucks!

While I won't be quite as bait as the poster you quoted ....

 

I think you should see where it goes to be honest. There is an attraction there, even if her body type isn't your ideal. I would at least attempt to build on that. If there was nothing there, you wouldn't have even thought about a 2nd date. I think there may be an external factor that is preventing you. Go for it I say.....

[Oxy Moronovich]

I am not derailing anything. I believe that a lot of men today have unrealistic expectations about what they expect from women. I think this comes from a lot of male-centric media. Is that really that offensive to you?

What's annoying is you keep bringing up porn when no one wants to talk about it at all. Stop it.

 

I also think it's bullcrap that you said you can't find anyone as biased as i am. You just convienently ignore a large chunk of the men here that are largely more biased then I am Oxy. You aren't exactly an outline in eglatarianism.

Most of those posters like Caius Ballard are trolls and I put them on ignore. The rest don't go from thread to thread saying crap like, "Romance books and other female-centric media have greatly influenced female thinking for the worse" when no one is talking about/wants to talk about that crap. You do that kinda stuff when talking about men.

 

Well, I don't "like" to overlook things but you make some fair points here that it may shock you I agree with. Even the "men don't want to talk about porn everytime they have a discussion with me" part. But regardless, porn has greatly influneced men and their sexuality.

Stop talking about porn. We're not talking about men in general. Just the OP.

 

 

I see it differenly. It's not exactly that he doesn't find her unattractive. It's just that she isn't his ideal shape. Which is why he has evaluated her breasts seperately from her weight.

Don't you mean to say, "It's not exactly that he doesn't find her unattractive."? So he evaluated her breasts? Big deal. Are we not living in the 21st century where a guy can like a woman's breasts?

Oxy, in your advice to me you said "some men agree with me", and that other men do this or that. But in this post you talk about how women in general are far worse about something then men. How is that fair considering the lecture you just gave me about what some men do and wht some men don't do?

Guess what: I recognize the fact that some men will disagree with me. Unlike you.

 

It's not that I don't think a guy should be attracted to a woman to date her. I hope he is! No woman wants to date a guy that isn't attracted to her. I just am sick of alot of conversations on here being guys coming looking for help and talking about how nice a woman is but how this feature is great but this feature isn't....and how it's apparently her physical features that are really the tipping point for him. Not anything else.

 

Can I ask you a serious question? Is someone forcing you to read these threads at gunpoint? Yes, that's a serious questions.

 

Your posts wreak of negativity (particularly toward men). And that's why I told the OP not to tangle with you, Jersey. Cuz you really are a downer to talk to. If posts here truly make you so emotionally negative, you may need to stop reading them. It's just a little internet forum where people come to vent and whatnot. It's not real life. Seriously. Get some help.

[yongyong]

For me, 20 lbs extra is doable (I am so open minded like Jesus, aren't I? ) if she is willing to lose weight in a healthy way. I would work out with her too. (how generous I am)

 

Of course, if I say this, all fatties here will get angry with my comment by saying 'you should accept her as who she is'

 

Just go out with her. Meet her somewhere that's quiet if you don't want to be seen with her by your friends. See if something develops.

maybe you can bring out 'I really like you...but would you consider losing weight' she might flip out like typical chicks here Or she will understand.

You can make final decision then......

I bet you will drop her like a hot potato if a skinny chick comes along though.

 

BTW, don't listen to dumb comments by women here.

 

 

I'm attracted to her face and her breasts. But she is flirting with BBW so what am is supposed to do. She's so pretty that I'm tempted to go with I but then I keep changing my mind. This sucks!

[Oxy Moronovich]

For me, 20 lbs extra is doable (I am so open minded like Jesus, aren't I? ) if she is willing to lose weight in a healthy way. I would work out with her too. (how generous I am)

 

Of course, if I say this, all fatties here will get angry with my comment by saying 'you should accept her as who she is'

 

Just go out with her. Meet her somewhere that's quiet if you don't want to be seen with her by your friends. See if something develops.

maybe you can bring out 'I really like you...but would you consider losing weight' she might flip out like typical chicks here Or she will understand.

You can make final decision then......

I bet you will drop her like a hot potato if a skinny chick comes along though.

 

BTW, don't listen to dumb comments by women here.

Agreed. The comments are dumb. He should feel bad because he can't find her attractive? In his first post, he said she was the one to initiate contact. The person who approaches needs to learn to accept rejection. It's just the law of the jungle. Do women always act civilized to guys who approach them? No.

 

The OP doesn't owe her anything. Seriously, what woman wants to date a guy who doesn't find her attractive?

[yongyong]

If he said something like

'her nose is crooked by 10 degrees, next!'

'she wears shoes size 9, that's big for a girl, next!'

'she had this mold on her back, next!'

then, I agree with your comment.

 

But being heavier than a man is one of the biggest deal breakers.

(is she going to lift him up and walk down the isle?)

 

I will bring my midget friend. he has the best personality. would you date him?? You and I know you are the same person as him.

 

 

I just am sick of alot of conversations on here being guys coming looking for help and talking about how nice a woman is but how this feature is great but this feature isn't....and how it's apparently her physical features that are really the tipping point for him. Not anything else.

[oaks]

Because he talked about how he wouldn't have gone for her if he met her in real life and even now, he doesn't really believe she is good enough for him.

 

Oh. So nothing to do with porn whatsoever, then. Thought so.

[SJC2008]

I decided not to date her. I was thinking about it but I just can't do it. Call me what you want but I'm uncomfortable about her size and that's the bottom line.