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Would it be rude to ask for a full body profile pic?

SJC2008

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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I've been chatting with a very nice woman online. She initiated contact so I'm weary about that (IME women who initiate online are quick to gig). Anyway I find her attractive but she has herself listed as a few extra pounds and only has head shots.

 

First of all, I'm not shooting for bikini models so I don't think I"m being shallow. The few extra pounds listing doesn't bother me, the only face pics do. My rule of thumb if you will is, as long as she's not bigger than me ratio wise and I'm attracted, we're go flight! The last woman who had all face pics LITERALLY had a bigger stomach than me, not proportionately.

 

Would it be rude of me to ask for a full body pic? How would I do it? I don't think I could bring myself to it IMO.

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Anela

Anela

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What do you mean by "quick to gig"?

 

o you mean they're quick to mes around with you? Because I'm not, and I've messaged guys first before.

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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What do you mean by "quick to gig"?

 

o you mean they're quick to mes around with you? Because I'm not, and I've messaged guys first before.

 

Most women who have messged me first, hence the IME, meaning not all women, vaporized before I even got at chance to ask them out. They're more proactive that's all, nothing wrong with that.

 

That being said, do you have a take on the actual question;)?

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Balzac

Balzac

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What have you got to lose? You don't really know her. If she's too hefty it's a deal breaker. Otherwise ask to meet up for the standard drink and make it short!!

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Anela

Anela

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That being said, do you have a take on the actual question;)?

 

Oh, yes. :laugh: Sorry about that. I meant to edit something else in, but I got distracted.

 

I would imagine that full-body shots would be shared by both people... if I were serious about finding someone. I don't know, though, I'm sorry. I know that the camera tends to make me look a little bigger, and I have a little bit more weight than I like on me; I get a certain amount of looks when I'm out - I've had it pointed out to me - but only been approached once in months. I wonder if the pictures make her look bigger than she is? I really don't know.

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CC12

CC12

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It would be a little rude, yes. You should let her control how much of herself she's willing to reveal. You would kind of be crossing a boundary by asking her for full body pictures.

 

Why not just meet up with her and decide then if she's not your type?

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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A lot of women who list themselves as average are not average and should really list themselves a few extra/bbw. She lists herself a few extra and has all head shots so the combination of those two factors is what has me concerned.

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kassy

kassy

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Ask its not rude in my opinion. For what it's worth in online dating in the past I've only had a head shot and put myself as a few extra pounds. I'm a US size 8 but short. I have no problem giving a full body shot to a guy I'm chatting to since I'd rather manage his expectations. If she's like me she will be relieved if you ask.

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A lot of women who list themselves as average are not average and should really list themselves a few extra/bbw. She lists herself a few extra and has all head shots so the combination of those two factors is what has me concerned.

 

So what? There are a lot of things you can be concerned about. She could have bad breath. She could treat the wait staff like crap during dinner. She could be racist. It's a crap shoot when you meet someone new. Do you want to ask for some sort of proof that she's not any of the above? Just go meet her if you think she's nice.

 

You might not even get a date if you ask for pics. It's just inappropriate and it sends a bad message.

 

How would you like to be asked for a photo of the top of your head, because some person that you've never even met wants proof that you're not balding up top? You'd probably feel like telling that stranger to **** right off, yeah?

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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So what? There are a lot of things you can be concerned about. She could have bad breath. She could treat the wait staff like crap during dinner. She could be racist. It's a crap shoot when you meet someone new. Do you want to ask for some sort of proof that she's not any of the above? Just go meet her if you think she's nice.

 

You might not even get a date if you ask for pics. It's just inappropriate and it sends a bad message.

 

How would you like to be asked for a photo of the top of your head, because some person that you've never even met wants proof that you're not balding up top? You'd probably feel like telling that stranger to **** right off, yeah?

 

I'd laugh my ass of because I'm thinning and send a pic lol. I don't get offended easily. The last girl from the thought she was interested thread asked me point blank how much is a few extra pounds. I told her my pics are a about a year old (time flys I need some new ones) and am about 15-20 pounds heavier. She said I don't look a few extra pounds so was curious. Anyway the weight must not have bothered her becasue she went on a 2nd date with me.

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CC12

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I'd laugh my ass of because I'm thinning and send a pic lol. I don't get offended easily.

 

:)

 

Ok, fine. Then think of something you're pretty self-conscious about and substitute that.

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oaks

oaks

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Would it be rude of me to ask for a full body pic? How would I do it? I don't think I could bring myself to it IMO.

 

No, I don't think it's rude. However, if you don't like what you see, how are you going to handle it without it being fairly obvious that you didn't like what you saw? That might need careful handling to avoid being rude.

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TaraMaiden

TaraMaiden

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I've been chatting with a very nice woman online. She initiated contact so I'm weary about that......

Would it be rude of me to ask for a full body pic? How would I do it? I don't think I could bring myself to it IMO.

 

"Weary" means 'tired'.

"WARY" means 'cautious'.

 

I grow weary of people using the wrong word, but I'm wary of advising them because I sometimes get my head bitten off for my help...

 

And yes, it is rude. IMO.

 

If you asked for a full body profile pic, I'd drop you like a hot brick.

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kaylan

kaylan

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Face shots only and/or high angle shots + listed as anything bigger than average = Fat (usually)

 

Proceed with caution OP. If someone already has pics up, it is a tad weird to ask for more in my view. Id just bail if you werent feeling good about it.

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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"Weary" means 'tired'.

"WARY" means 'cautious'.

 

I grow weary of people using the wrong word, but I'm wary of advising them because I sometimes get my head bitten off for my help...

 

And yes, it is rude. IMO.

 

If you asked for a full body profile pic, I'd drop you like a hot brick.

 

And I'd thank you for doing me the favor because if one mispelled word wierds you out that easy you aren't my type I can assure you that. This aint no english forum, get a life.

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soccerrprp

soccerrprp

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I can see how someone would be put-off by being asked for a full-body shot, but people who date online should be aware that that is one of the expectations. Even the online sites recommend that you put at least one, recent, full-body shot.

 

Is it inappropriate? I don't believe it is, but like others have said, you may not get the date to find out otherwise...

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kaylan

kaylan

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PS - folks who cant post clear and full pics of themselves in their profiles tend to have the self esteem of a wet napkin. Do not want.

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oaks

oaks

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I got a message the other day from a woman (allegedly) with no photos. Apparently she likes my profile, thinks we have things in common etc. She went on to describe some things not mentioned in her profile that she thought I would be interested in. Then she said she was cautious about putting photos on a dating site but I could email her (she gave an email address) and she would email me some photos. I assumed it was a scam, but I wrote to her (via the site... I didn't give her my email address) and she does at least have the ability to respond in English... but I still think it's a scam.

 

I suppose I could take her up on her offer of asking her for photos via email... and I could use an email address that I don't care what spam it gets... but then if I don't like the photos I'm stuck between ignoring further contact and telling her that I don't like how she looks. And I just can't be bothered with either. (and I still think it might be a scam)

 

Anyway... questions asked on a dating site before asking for and agreeing a date are clearly questions to help each person answer the "do I want to go on a date with this person?" ... so I don't really think anything is 'out', but that doesn't mean the other person will like the question.

 

In this case, instead of asking for a photo... how about asking why there isn't one? There might be an interesting story, and the person might volunteer one. Or the answer you get might tell you whether you should go on that date.

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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She really engages with her messages so I like that. We do seem to have some things in common, especially liking roller coasters! (remeber that thread about girls not getting on rides?). I do find her attractive and want to set up a date soon so I'm not going to let this stop me but I do have the right to be concerned IMO.

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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She really engages with her messages so I like that. We do seem to have some things in common, especially liking roller coasters! (remeber that thread about girls not getting on rides?). I do find her attractive and want to set up a date soon so I'm not going to let this stop me but I do have the right to be concerned IMO. Like I said I'm not shooting for bikini girls, I'm a little heavy myself. I just don't want to show up to a woman who is BBW.

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SJC2008

SJC2008

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I got a message the other day from a woman (allegedly) with no photos. Apparently she likes my profile, thinks we have things in common etc. She went on to describe some things not mentioned in her profile that she thought I would be interested in. Then she said she was cautious about putting photos on a dating site but I could email her (she gave an email address) and she would email me some photos. I assumed it was a scam, but I wrote to her (via the site... I didn't give her my email address) and she does at least have the ability to respond in English... but I still think it's a scam.

 

I suppose I could take her up on her offer of asking her for photos via email... and I could use an email address that I don't care what spam it gets... but then if I don't like the photos I'm stuck between ignoring further contact and telling her that I don't like how she looks. And I just can't be bothered with either. (and I still think it might be a scam)

 

Anyway... questions asked on a dating site before asking for and agreeing a date are clearly questions to help each person answer the "do I want to go on a date with this person?" ... so I don't really think anything is 'out', but that doesn't mean the other person will like the question.

 

In this case, instead of asking for a photo... how about asking why there isn't one? There might be an interesting story, and the person might volunteer one. Or the answer you get might tell you whether you should go on that date.

 

If it's a scam you can usually tell by the way they write. They may spell good but the way they write will give it away if it's a foreigner. When I was selling my dirt bike on ......list I got a message asking if the item was still for sale. No one in the history of bikes has called one an item. I didn't bother replying.

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