ImperfectionisBeauty Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I was just browsing this website and I see so many people who are like in their 40s and single and have never been with anyone and I am really afraid, I love this website so far I have gotten really great advice but I am super freaked out too. I deleted my POF account like 2 days ago because I didn't feel ready to date and I didn't want just a hook up, but maybe doing OkCupid would be better? Some of the guys are less attractive so maybe I will just go out with an unattractive guy and try it out, they can't be looking for solely sex because... why would they be? I just think I need to get out there with dating because I can't end up being 40 and single with no husband and no babies. Some people love that (my aunt being one, she is super successful with her career she has a nice house and brand new car and never married with no kids) but thats just not it for me. Should I join a site? I don't want to pay so if you know any free ones that would be great too
LucyC Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 In my experience, nothing good ever came out of internet dating. I feel the same way you do. But I think the best way to meet a good person is through your personal network. 1
yoman38 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 okcupid is good IMO, however a word to the wise dating websites also require patience and an optimistic type of person willing to go on dates with the acceptance that it may take more than one try to find the right person. personally I think you are too focused on fear and "not being alone" which IMHO will only lead you to be alone or to cling to bad partners. My best advice is to change your attitude find your strengths and feel like you deserve someone good they don't have to be perfect or that guy from the notebook, but they can be awesome anyways 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 In my experience, nothing good ever came out of internet dating. I feel the same way you do. But I think the best way to meet a good person is through your personal network. I wish I had a personal network haha 1
suladas Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I'm trying eharmony, been a few week it's ok not as good as I was expecting. In my opinion though, you have a much better shot at a real relationship with a paid site.
Dreamless Sleep Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I'm curious about how it works. I'd like to get outside my current social circle and work circle. I made one misstep at work and don't want to repeat it again. Friends are beginning to chat up some potential dates. I'm not entirely ready. But I am thinking about it more I'm also concerned about how I would be perceived by friends and colleagues for OLD.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 okcupid is good IMO, however a word to the wise dating websites also require patience and an optimistic type of person willing to go on dates with the acceptance that it may take more than one try to find the right person. personally I think you are too focused on fear and "not being alone" which IMHO will only lead you to be alone or to cling to bad partners. My best advice is to change your attitude find your strengths and feel like you deserve someone good they don't have to be perfect or that guy from the notebook, but they can be awesome anyways I did POF on and off for like a year and went on a billion dates lol I'm not sure. I am over dating, it's so exhausting.. I'm confused lol 1
SmileFace Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 No YOU should not. Until you realize that chasing a engaged man is not ok - you shouldn't even try dating. 4
LucyC Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I wish I had a personal network haha Of course you do! You must know people from work, friends, family...and they know people and those people know people...
suladas Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 No YOU should not. Until you realize that chasing a engaged man is not ok - you shouldn't even try dating. I will agree with that.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 No YOU should not. Until you realize that chasing a engaged man is not ok - you shouldn't even try dating. it isn't my fault
suladas Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 it isn't my fault As soon as you know someone is married, engaged, or in a relationship you shouldn't go near them, well anyone who's single and not cheating, if they are legally married but separated that's ok.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 As soon as you know someone is married, engaged, or in a relationship you shouldn't go near them, well anyone who's single and not cheating, if they are legally married but separated that's ok. A girl has needs and he was supposed to fulfill them..
Dreamless Sleep Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 it isn't my fault I like to take responsibility for the crap I step in. I know some people who don't . There are many ways to look at it.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted September 15, 2012 Author Posted September 15, 2012 I think I might do OKcupid, I never met anyone on there when I was on it but I mean hey I might as well try again, I want to go on some dates haha
mysteryscape Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 you wanna get married and have a family, but you're obsessed with the "attractiveness" of the guys you might meet. Get over it! Unless you're in your mid-twenties or less, forget about how "hot" the guys look. Or unless you look great yourself. You stand a good chance of ending up like countless middle-aged women. No husband, no kids, fading looks.
paperboy48 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I'm also concerned about how I would be perceived by friends and colleagues for OLD. What do you mean? Why would they care if your on OLD?
Dreamless Sleep Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 paperboy, I sometimes hear a condescending tone when others are discussing OLD. Sometimes it's when the ex of a coworker has their profile critiqued. Maybe it's just an opportunity to create gossip. I do wonder how it's perceived overall. I don't have any close friends who have used it. I have very few recently divorced friends in my immediate social circle. As I mentioned, I am looking to include dating outside of my work and social circles. I am asked about resuming dating by friends who seem interested in introducing me to acquaintances. I don't want to discourage my friends from introducing me to women if the perception of OLD is that of a desperate man.
Recommended Posts