othersideofthepillow Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) Its been over a year since things with my ex ended. In that time, she started seeing someone new (about 2 months after ending it with me - one of her coworkers) but would still tell me she missed me, wanted to end up with me in the end & how awful her new bf treats her (yelling and pushing her around physically). We had lived together, got a dog together and without a shadow of a doubt I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. At one point she had "ended it" with the co-worker, and said that she realized she wanted us to try again. I was hesitant but accepted and told her we need to take it slow and rebuild the right way. Within a week (we only saw each other once after "getting back together") she said shes she doesn't see me romantically anymore. A few weeks then passed. She tried to keep texting me and would often be upset when I didn't respond but I really didn't care and told her I busy I have a lot going on and that we weren't together anymore so she doesn't get access to me like that anymore. A few weeks later I noticed on fb (she had been removed from mine long ago) while searching for a old high school friend that she was back with her co-worker. I was very hurt because I had said that her going back to someone like that would hurt me more than anything. After that, for my own well being and "sanity" - I blocked her from all phone contact and it was the best thing I could have ever done. Didn't have to worry if I would get a text, miss a call or anything cause I removed that option from her. A few days ago I got a FB message from her. A full blow apology for how she how she left me (twice), how bad she treated me, how ashamed of herself she was for how and lives with guilt everyday for it, how shes just a bad person with a bad past and is just stuck in the bad, and that I'm a amazing person and wishes me the best and even if I don't read her message at least she knows she tried. After reading it, I saw she had just moved in with her bf (same coworker from before) about a month ago. It confuses me as to why, after over a year of being broken up, being with another man, she still feels the need to apologize? I'm not looking as this as a "second chance" window, a "help!!...what should I do now", or "does she still love/want me back" kinda thing. Just very interesting. I suppose its just her attempt at breadcrumbs again, seeing if she "still has me", her fall back / safety net. Being with someone else & living with her current bf is a clear cut answer that she has nothing romantic for me at all. I will always have some sort of feelings for her - I am mature enough to admit that - but it saddens me to see what has become of her and how far she is from the woman I wanted to spend my life with. I'd like to hear others thoughts on this, maybe others have had a case close or just like this happen to them..... Edited September 13, 2012 by othersideofthepillow
TaraMaiden Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Just to clarify... I sincerely hope and trust you've not taken the bait and responded, replied or even reacted....? Completely ignored, and will continue to do so, yeah? 1
Author othersideofthepillow Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 You would be correct. I have done nothing.
TaraMaiden Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Thank you. I will mention what I have said before - never try to second-guess an ex's motives. You'll never get to the bottom of it. One question answered usually leads to two more.... and 12 times out of 10, there is no lucid answer... and even if there were, it would change day to day. Most of the time, the ex doesn't have a clue either.... "Why did you contact me....?" *shrug*....."I dunno.... maybe because....."(followed by suppositional reason.....) There's little rhyme or reason, but perhaps we could just put it down to basic curiosity - "I wonder, if I 'call', will they 'reply'....?"... is perhaps, really, all it is. 1
Author othersideofthepillow Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) I guess it always goes back to the "I wonder" question really. In the message I got she also mentioned she wont send me random texts or call me again no matter what. Whether or not that's the truth who knows. Edited September 13, 2012 by othersideofthepillow
Frank13 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 A few days ago I got a FB message from her. A full blow apology for how she how she left me (twice), how bad she treated me, how ashamed of herself she was for how and lives with guilt everyday for it, how shes just a bad person with a bad past and is just stuck in the bad, and that I'm a amazing person and wishes me the best and even if I don't read her message at least she knows she tried. After reading it, I saw she had just moved in with her bf (same coworker from before) about a month ago. It confuses me as to why, after over a year of being broken up, being with another man, she still feels the need to apologize? I suppose its just her attempt at breadcrumbs again, seeing if she "still has me", her fall back / safety net. Being with someone else & living with her current bf is a clear cut answer that she has nothing romantic for me at all. I also don't get why they do this. You could almost see it if they get dumped and are lonely, but they do this after so long and when they are with someone else. It's like a mind F$%^.
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