irc333 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 There's this woman I've been out with twice already. She keeps in touch (responding to emails/phone calls and text) However, it's more sporadically. Like she'll respond to some of my emails or phone calls, while not responding to others. She also has an unusual shift when she works. She works nights, like 8 in the evening till early in the morning, so if she goes out in the day, she has to make sure she's home by a certain time before she starts to get ready for work (let out her dogs, prepare for work, etc) I sent her an email stating a next venue for our 3rd date....it was about an hour ride from her, and she responded thinking that was a bit too far for her to make it back in time. I recalled her saying something on our 2nd date that the downtown district where she lives is a nice area. I calledand left her a VM. I emailed her back on FB stating that since earlier she mentioned how nice the downtown district was.....but she didn't reply back. Been noticing she's been active on FB, (seen her post some goof pics)....but Kind of a pet peeve of mine, that you're out posting novelty pics on FB page, but don't respond to my FB message? I remember one time, she texted me saying, "Sorry, I didn't get to respond to your message on FB, I was late for work...when I get home, I'll give you a proper response." And then one time she said "Well I'm off for 2 days, now I don't have an excuse NOT to reply, LOL" If you're going to reply to an email saying, "I'm going to reply to your email"......why not just say what you are wanting to say to my initial email in THAT email? Though we had great conversations, they were conversations that were centered around her experiences and stuff, but she's hardly EVER asked any questions about me. (Key the previous thread someone posted about She also said that every guy she dated, always had a problem with her preferring to work more than spend time with them. She said her last ex complained that she "walked too fast" meaning , when they're out together, she doesn't walk by his side...he was alluding to the fact that she didn't like being around him. Apparently, when she is trying to get errands done, she doesn't want to walk casually with her b/f. I'm starting to think she only dates when its' convenient to her. Dont' get me wrong, we've only been out on 2 dates..but I'm starting to think she is self-centered. Anyhow, I was just wondering how many follow ups should I make before giving her the heave ho? Sound slike she' not one to make an effort in a relationship.
Imajerk17 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) Have you gotten physical with her yet? That is an indication of how much attraction she feels towards you. If she hasn't kissed you or made out with you, then that is a bad sign. Thing is, you are chasing her it sounds. When two people are into each other, this sort of thing works itself out. If she isn't making an effort to get back to you, then well.... So I'd say back off and see if she comes to you. Edited September 13, 2012 by Imajerk17
Author irc333 Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 Have you gotten physical with her yet? That is an indication of how much attraction she feels towards you. If she hasn't kissed you or made out with you, then that is a bad sign. Thing is, you are chasing her it sounds. When two people are into each other, this sort of thing works itself out. If she isn't making an effort to get back to you, then well.... So I'd say back off and see if she comes to you. Too soon to get physical with her in a romantic sense. First date wasn't really a "date" , I invited to her a party...but we just spent a lot of time talking to each other, but the 2nd date was an actual date, went to movies, had dinner....and I hugged her good-bye. She said, "So , will I be hearing from you again?" And I smiled and said, "Most definitely." And we went our separate ways.
Imajerk17 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) I don't agree with your "too soon to get physical" assessment. For one thing I usually hold hands and kiss during the first date, but then again, my first dates are one-on-one. I wouldn't invite a girl to a party. I don't have a timetable for sex per se, but I do think that the slow pace you're taking isn't helping. She's probably getting bored. Edited September 13, 2012 by Imajerk17
Author irc333 Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 I don't agree with your "too soon to get physical" assessment. For one thing I usually hold hands and kiss during the first date, but then again, my first dates are one-on-one. I wouldn't invite a girl to a party. I don't have a timetable for sex per se, but I do think that the slow pace you're taking isn't helping. She's probably getting bored. I don't hold hands or get physical on a first date, I usually wait until the 2nd or 3rd at the very most. I do admit, there had been times where I did kiss on the first date, chemistry was great, the whole 9 yards, only to have them not return my phone calls for a 2nd date. So it's all moot really. Well, then if she gets bored that easily, then we would not be compatible anyways. If she cannot wait a TAD bit longer than a first date, then that's her problem. Actually, a pet peeve of mine in dating profiles is when a woman mentions that she "bores easily" , yes, I've actually seen women that would mention that they DO bore easily. That's a red flag to me. Like it's 100% on me for me to put on a circus performance for her or something. lol
Imajerk17 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) I am not a fan of being "pushy". But I am a believer in touching early and often. That way kissing her when the time comes feels natural to you both. If she doesn't seem to be into your touching then you back off but at least you know where you stand. When (if?) you do kiss her it is going to feel like a big deal. See for your first *3* meetings (the day you met at the party plus your first 2 dates) you were mostly hands-off. To go from that to a kiss on the lips is going to feel like a big jump to her. Edited September 13, 2012 by Imajerk17
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