liverpool fc Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) alright so im going to put it out here I am engaged with my fiancee in a LDR, we have been engaged for 2 months on today and been together for 8 months in 5 days. im 18 nearly 19 and she recently turned 19. we talk on the phone for a few hours every day and text all the time and tweet Last year we first starting talking on twitter in july when i followed her, after a month i added her on fb. in september we planned to meet up and go out for drinks in december, the day before my birthday i got in a relationship with my now ex which since being 18 i have not being single after not having a girlfriend for 3 years at the time, a month later in nov i asked my now fiancee to inbox me and she gave me her number and a few days later she started texting me after 2 weeks she told me about this guy who was 3 years older then her and how she booked a hotel out for 2 nights to sleep with him a few days before we were supposed to see each other and i felt extremely jealous, upset and angry. eventually she slept with him and lost her v's which i was devistated but didnt say anything, a few nights later she came to my footy training which my mum picked her up (i had my ex in the car) and a night later me and my now ex went to dinner with her which was awkward. a month later she was coming back to my state this time but not too see him but she told me she could use a **** again from the other guy but he was not interested in her i met up with her at the cricket and asked her to go to the soccer the next night, she said yes so we did that, at the end i hugged her before i left her then asked the next night for bingo and she said yes and we did that and when i said goodbye i kissed her on the cheek as i was hugging her a day later she told me she couldnt thank me her enough and she loved being with me and she had feelings for me and wanted to tell me for so long that i deserved much better (my ex would make me upset and annoyed all the time) and she loved me. i felt that way towards her with my feelings for the last few months before and i ended it with my ex 2 nights later but she kept calling me non stop upset so on fb a few nights later after that it ended while my fiancee asked me out before that night it ended on fb i see her once every few weeks and she makes me very happy (fiancee) but everything from her past experience with the previous guy still hurts me and also in our sex life she has not done one with me at all because of a bad experience with the previous guy and i have been very patient with her and not pressure her at all/make her feel bad for not giving it. my fiancee had my twitter login on her ipad app 3 months in and unfollowed every girl i was following on twitter that she was not friends with and 3 months later asked for my fb login and i gave her it and recently she has cleared out all the girls i was friends with all the ones from old high schools etc which has annoyed me as i would sometimes talk to them (the ones i had known well for over a year). she told me she used to stalk my fb last year and get really jealous because the girls on mine she thought were prettier then her and she wouldnt get a chance with me and i asked her is that why she did the twitter thing and she said no i always annoyed whenever my fiancee tweets i dont know why (just daily tweets) and i have been more stressed this year with her then last year. also in our sex life she has not done one with me at all i just dont know why i feel upset still about the past and get stressed easier now and annoyed at twitter Edited September 13, 2012 by liverpool fc forgot to add something in! :(
WhatYouWantToHear Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 A million thanks, now and for the future entertainment you are going to provide me here on loveshack. I can only imagine the posts that you are going to have here asking for advice in this trainwreck of a relationship. I take that back, for a train to wreck it has to get out of the station, your relationship hasn't even done that. My advice, which I know you won't heed so I am in no danger of preventing these amazing future posts of yours which will entertain me to no end, is to break up with this girl. Not because she is the problem, you both are. There's more red flags in your post than in a chinese patriotism parade. 2
TaraMaiden Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 "engaged"...? At 19? To be married, ...."to have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to be faithful to one another for as long as you both shall live....?" OK. Good luck with that.... Next!! 2
Cb3657 Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 A million thanks, now and for the future entertainment you are going to provide me here on loveshack. I can only imagine the posts that you are going to have here asking for advice in this trainwreck of a relationship. I take that back, for a train to wreck it has to get out of the station, your relationship hasn't even done that. My advice, which I know you won't heed so I am in no danger of preventing these amazing future posts of yours which will entertain me to no end, is to break up with this girl. Not because she is the problem, you both are. There's more red flags in your post than in a chinese patriotism parade. That sir is a funny post:laugh: 1
veggirl Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 good god. you guys all sound like you are about 15, which is fine because you are a TEENAGER STILL which means marriage should be YEARS away. you are INSANE if you think a marriage between you and your "fiancee" will work. what do your parents think of your "engagement"? did you give her a ring, set a date? just break up, omg. you guys are CHILDREN and you have many more girlfriends in your future. this relationship sounds miserable.
Author liverpool fc Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 (edited) "engaged"...? At 19? To be married, ...."to have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to be faithful to one another for as long as you both shall live....?" OK. Good luck with that.... Next!! it was not me who first started talking of getting engaged, after 1 month of being together she told me she was thinking about our future etc etc and she wanted me to propose to her and i was originally thinking 2 years at least but she wanted it done this year and fast! for the last post before this i thought of possibly getting it done near the end of the year for financial reasons and lack of knowledge on how to find a engagement ring etc but she helped me with her sizing and told me what ring she wanted. 2 months later i did it even though she knew what day it was happening, she was crying when we got back from dinner just before she knew i was going to do it! she wants to have our wedding in her state in 3 years. my mum thought i was too young and stupid for doing it now and never congratulated me while i was scared of telling my dad so i did 2 weeks after and he wished us congrats and was not angry at all Edited September 17, 2012 by liverpool fc
AlexCross Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Shes not even putting out yet shes clearing your Facebook & Twitter account of all the girls you talk to ? Google: How to get your balls out of your twitter fiances purse.
El Dudarino Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I agree with the sentiment of the other posters, if not the tone. You are way too young and going way too fast. I got married at 22 to a woman I had known for seven years and I think I got married too young. If you want a chance at being happy while you're still young, call off the engagement. It will hurt and be very difficult, but divorce hurts worse and is a lot harder. She wants a three year engagement? If you want a chance at being happy with her, wait until she can live near you and date her for two years and then have a year long engagement. Although from what you've described I honestly don't think your relationship will survive calling off the engagement. And as hard as it is for you to hear, that's probably a good thing. Look, I would never have listened to someone telling me this at your age but I'll say it anyway. You don't know who you are yet. Your brain is still trying to make sense of the chemical sh*tstorm of puberty. Wait a while before you make lifelong decisions. You obviously have some doubts or you wouldn't be here. Listen to them. Listen to us, rude as we might be. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, if you two want to grow old together then surely you can wait a little longer and make sure it's the right decision.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Not sure why you guys are beating up on the guy so much...he's only 19 years old, what do you expect him to understand and know just yet? With that being said liverpool...from experienced and mature eyes this is not a good decision for you. The most important reason is women of this age are still very much coming into their own...that's the whole reason she gave it up to mr casanova who just humped and dumped her. She's extremely insecure, which leads to jealousy, which leads to her being used by men who "were no good for you"...you have to understand that she'll be attracted to guys like this and until she gets her brain on straight she's going to be thinking like this is now a looooooooooooooooooooooong time...in fact this relationship/future marriage is going to suffer a lot by both of you growing up, it always does and remember that whatever you inflict on each other will last forever in this marriage. I know you feel like you know how you feel, you want to believe and trust how she feels for you and you want to believe that her doing all this control and jealousy is just her way of loving you and doing her thing...but It's not, she's essentially crazy...she doesn't understand her emotions and she doesn't even know what the hell she is doing...she's the kind of girl that's going to have a hard time getting her head on straight and make a lot of mistakes like she did with this other guy just to figure out It's not what she wants. Right now you are just the safe rebound guy...a comfortable passive soul that lets her run over you and dominate your life and hold things against you for the issues in her past...you have to realize she's still hurting and thinking of this other guy right now...not you, and she's reacting based off emotions and instincts she can't figure out...this means that she can have epiphanies and turn out like a snake...right now It's in her nature to strike out at anything that gets close, you're going to get bit and pay the price because you think you can save this girl and love her and all that and things will magically fall into place. It's hard giving people advice your age because there's so much you don't know and therefore so much you can't relate to and haven't experienced...I guarantee you that with 100 percent certainty 10 years or maybe even 5 you'll be regretting this decision or at the very least realizing all the stupid ways you think and realizing what you didn't know...It's incredibly obvious but you just don't have the experience to know...you're standing on a land mine but until you get your legs blown off you won't realize that you were, there's a inability to see and understand that until after he kaboom due to a false sense of understanding, and emotions you think you have...when it's really just like a new soldier who's watched movies about war and goes out there on the battlefield jumping up and down side to side and he only lasts about 5 secs because he should have just kept his head down but he thought he'd make some moves and take out 20 bad guys while aiming from the hip. Everyone is going to tell you (anyone with common sense) is going to tell you this is a horrible idea...and you're automatically going to get defensive thinking you know what you're doing and nobody understands how you feel or what you both have...I can assure that those advising you not to get married are those who understand and can relate, not the other way around...that's why they're trying to stop you...everyone's been in and out of love in one way or another and anyone with experience can tell you they were in no way able to make a decision like marriage when they were 19...I give a lot of advice on these forums and have a great deal of experience with relationships/dating but I didn't get it jumping into a marriage, at least I knew better than that because I knew there wasn't something right about it, and I'm glad I gave myself time to learn myself and about relationships first. And remember, it's not the length of a relationship...it's the quality of the relationship that counts...and you cannot tell that by looking at someone else's relationship from the outside, people are damaged and have issues and you're going in blind and with them all fresh and unknown. Relationships and women are a whole other chapter of life you haven't even grazed the surface on understanding...don't dig yourself in a whole, give yourself time to learn and a chance to grow...If you do, I guarantee you that you will see the light and understand that this is a bad idea...this marriage thing. There's no rush and you haven't even slept with the girl and she's a hot mess...you've got your probs too, don't be a fool...you will thank yourself later. 1
veggirl Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Not sure why you guys are beating up on the guy so much...he's only 19 years old, what do you expect him to understand and know just yet? well at least enough to know that getting married at 19 to a girl who tells you to propose after a month is a horrible idea.
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