bubbles589 Posted July 22, 2004 Posted July 22, 2004 OK i'm providing some background for this situation to help you guys get a feel for what kind of person he really is. A few months ago, I started attending my friends youth group/church. I didn't really pay attention to the fact that one of these guys was really hitting on me until we actually hung out in a non-christian like setting. Anyways, this guy who at first I thought was tall,dark and handsome was too old in order to show any interest in me. For weeks he kept touching me (ex. putting his hands around me waist, lying on me etc.) and this eventually led to us becoming "cuddle buddies". However, since I am young and yes naive (i'm 17 and he's 24) I believed we were in a relationship. When I asked him about this, he stated that I was too young for him etc. He kept calling me and acted really clingy and we eventually began kissing etc. We kept our "relationship" a secret from this youth group (mainly his idea) because of the quote on quote "gossip". This scenario continued for a few more weeks until one day we almost took things too far (sex). The next day he calls me and tells me that he wants to take a few steps back and learn about each other. But, the next day he calls and he says that it was a mistake and that he couldn't just go back to being friends with me. That whole weekend he starts acting completely different yet again and distances himself from me, until I force him to talk to me. He claimed that he has nothing to offer in a relationship and that he didn't know what he wanted blah blah. So, for the week after, I tried to take a step back, and we went out a few times as friends (which was then easier for me since I didn't really have the strong feelings for him). However, the same week he got a job in Alaska. I was devastated and I felt my feelings for him come back full throttle. We did end up having a conversation in which we both stated that we had feelings for each other and that we think about each other all the time etc. That Sunday he left, and after a week of not talking to him, we began to talk on msn. For the next few days, he would email me and ask why I wasn't online, and when I was online, he would start being really sexual towards me (btw I didn't discourage this). This story gets even more confusing when I go on msn and he tells me that he will be returning the following monday (he lost his job). WE tell each other that we still have feelings for each other etc. and I tell him that the only way we can be sexual is to be in a relationship together and I also tell him that we cannot keep a "relationship" a secret from the group anymore. He agrees and for the next two weeks we are all over each other (especially him). However, after he tells some people that we are in a relationship etc, and meeting my dad etc, he began to act distant yet again. Since he called me constantly every day for two weeks, when he didn't call me for a day I got confused and asked him if he needed his space again. He claimed he didn't know and he said he would call me when he was ready to talk about the situation (he was unemployed for those two weeks and recently got a job in mission which takes up his entire day). I began to back off, and I stopped calling him. We did see each other a few times at church and I sent him a text message saying "i'm sorry for pushing you into anything" and he never replied. It's been four days since i've talked to him, and I still don't know what happening since we never really "officially" broke up. Personally, I'm trying really hard to move on, but this morning I woke up with a surge of strong feelings for him. I'm wondering if he still has them for me. Hmm. This guy is extremely confusing and won't listen to what I have to say. Should I wait for him to call? Or should I extend a hand of friendship in the next few weeks?
eskimokiss Posted July 22, 2004 Posted July 22, 2004 This is not even close to an ideal situation. This is someone who is 24 and should act like it. You are way way way way too young for him. Please understand that by saying this, I am in no way trying to insult your maturity. I myself am soon to be 26 and I can tell you that my soul at 17 and at 26 are not even comparable. The experiences and learning that I have done in those years I cannot even vocalize to you. You do not need this guy to be anyhing to you. You need to concentrate on being a teenager, which is hard enough. In my mind it is almost pediphilia. Disgusting
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