steo Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can shed some light on my situation. My ex and I broke up a year ago after a 3 year relationship, our relatioship had been stressful and he had been severely depressed for about a year when we broke up. When we finally split up it was because he already had another girlfriend. (They had just met a week before but decided it was serious). We stopped talking, obviously but suddenly, after a year he contacted me and wanted to get a drink. Now, we had a long distance relationship but are currently living in the same city. In a few weeks I will be going home though for several months, maybe even a year. Anyway, when we went out we had a great time and ended up hooking up . He is still with his girlfriend and they now live together. Everything was nice when we were hanging out, chatting like old friends, talking about old memories, the usual. He was vague about his relatioship, saying things were good, he felt quite good, and thought they would be together 'for a while yet' but that he wanted to be friends and we could talk via email. He told me as well that the reason he hadn't contacted me sooner was he wasn't allowed to by the new girlfriend since she didn't like the fact that I was angry when we broke up (!!) Well that was a few weeks ago and we had been emailing daily but he suddenly stopped contacting me. I want to build a friendship with him since he is important to me but I don't understand why he suddenly ignores me.I don't think it's because of the girlfriend since he had no qualms about cheating on her so why?
WhatYouWantToHear Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 He had no qualms cheating on her while he was cheating on her. After the fact is a different story. He either regrets it, doesn't trust you not to tell her or can't find a way to do it again without getting caught. P.S. Guys, especially your exes, don't want to be your friend. They have no or little problem sleeping with you though.
TaraMaiden Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 I want to build a friendship with him since he is important to me but I don't understand why he suddenly ignores me.I don't think it's because of the girlfriend since he had no qualms about cheating on her so why? If I answer this in the way I'd like, at best I'd get an infraction, at worst i'd be banned for life. Suffice to say I find your behaviour deplorable. 4
geegirl Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can shed some light on my situation. My ex and I broke up a year ago after a 3 year relationship, our relatioship had been stressful and he had been severely depressed for about a year when we broke up. When we finally split up it was because he already had another girlfriend. (They had just met a week before but decided it was serious). We stopped talking, obviously but suddenly, after a year he contacted me and wanted to get a drink. Now, we had a long distance relationship but are currently living in the same city. In a few weeks I will be going home though for several months, maybe even a year. Anyway, when we went out we had a great time and ended up hooking up . He is still with his girlfriend and they now live together. Everything was nice when we were hanging out, chatting like old friends, talking about old memories, the usual. He was vague about his relatioship, saying things were good, he felt quite good, and thought they would be together 'for a while yet' but that he wanted to be friends and we could talk via email. He told me as well that the reason he hadn't contacted me sooner was he wasn't allowed to by the new girlfriend since she didn't like the fact that I was angry when we broke up (!!) Well that was a few weeks ago and we had been emailing daily but he suddenly stopped contacting me. I want to build a friendship with him since he is important to me but I don't understand why he suddenly ignores me.I don't think it's because of the girlfriend since he had no qualms about cheating on her so why? You're so casual about him cheating on his girlfriend. I find that hard to fathom. No remorse that you enabled cheating? You're more concerned about a so called "friendship" rather than asking yourself do you really want someone like him as a friend, and questioning your actions that seem to have no bearing on your conscience. Speaks highly of your boundaries, morals and principles. Chances are, he was probably going behind your back before you "finally split up." That in itself should send you running the other way.
Author steo Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 If I answer this in the way I'd like, at best I'd get an infraction, at worst i'd be banned for life. Suffice to say I find your behaviour deplorable. Excuse me? This is the girl that had sex with someone who had a girlfriend (my ex) and then told me I had no right to be upset about the fact that she did. When I was angry at him she said I was 'cute'. So, no I don't feel bad for her. In any case, have you never made mistakes in your life. If not, I salute you.
Author steo Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 Chances are, he was probably going behind your back before you "finally split up." That in itself should send you running the other way. Yes, he was cheating on me for months before we split up. I have morals, I didn't say I did the right thing or that I would do it again, just that it happened
geegirl Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Yes, he was cheating on me for months before we split up. I have morals, I didn't say I did the right thing or that I would do it again, just that it happened "Just happened" does not register with me. You slept with him, knowingly. You could have said NO. On a separate note. Your boundaries are skewed, in every sense. You don't choose to be friends with men that cheat on you and cheat with you. They don't possess the qualities that make them "friend" worthy.
TaraMaiden Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Excuse me? This is the girl that had sex with someone who had a girlfriend (my ex) and then told me I had no right to be upset about the fact that she did. When I was angry at him she said I was 'cute'. So, no I don't feel bad for her. In any case, have you never made mistakes in your life. If not, I salute you. Oh, sorry, of course. Two wrongs DO make a right. My mistake. That was a mistake, was it? A mistake you knew was happening, but you still decided to make it, nevertheless....? Oh, yeah.... "....just that it happened" ... what, you happened to slip onto your back, your underwear came off all by itself, and he fell into you...? Yeah, don't you just hate it when that happens...? I'd work to steal him back from his current victim, because I think you two are made for each other and should be together... don't find partners, either of you....why make 4 people miserable, instead of just 2....? 1
Kamila Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can shed some light on my situation. My ex and I broke up a year ago after a 3 year relationship, our relatioship had been stressful and he had been severely depressed for about a year when we broke up. When we finally split up it was because he already had another girlfriend. (They had just met a week before but decided it was serious). We stopped talking, obviously but suddenly, after a year he contacted me and wanted to get a drink. Now, we had a long distance relationship but are currently living in the same city. In a few weeks I will be going home though for several months, maybe even a year. Anyway, when we went out we had a great time and ended up hooking up . He is still with his girlfriend and they now live together. Everything was nice when we were hanging out, chatting like old friends, talking about old memories, the usual. He was vague about his relatioship, saying things were good, he felt quite good, and thought they would be together 'for a while yet' but that he wanted to be friends and we could talk via email. He told me as well that the reason he hadn't contacted me sooner was he wasn't allowed to by the new girlfriend since she didn't like the fact that I was angry when we broke up (!!) Well that was a few weeks ago and we had been emailing daily but he suddenly stopped contacting me. I want to build a friendship with him since he is important to me but I don't understand why he suddenly ignores me.I don't think it's because of the girlfriend since he had no qualms about cheating on her so why? Ditch that guy (and his girl), do not contact them at all, cry a lot, and in a couple of months you'll see things more clear. If not, repeat till you see the light. 1
LostGirl11 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Excuse me? This is the girl that had sex with someone who had a girlfriend (my ex) and then told me I had no right to be upset about the fact that she did. When I was angry at him she said I was 'cute'. So, no I don't feel bad for her. In any case, have you never made mistakes in your life. If not, I salute you. Then you are no better than her. The mind boggles.
flitzanu Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 it sounds to me that by saying "build a friendship" you mean "sleep with my ex to piss off his girlfriend". you already expressed your lack of guilt and remorse in later comments, and sound quite disparaged by how he treated you, and feel like you should do the same to her. it won't solve anything except drama and maybe some STDs.
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