Moonless sky Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Alright, where do I start? I'm not sure what I should be feeling but right now I'm feeling pretty down about this. My boyfriend that I have a long history together and finally are doing good and going strong. I came across his password. No, I was not purposely finding this, hard to believe but I'm being honest. Because I came across this I decided I needed some opinions and different insights. The password contains my partners name and their exes. I feel pretty bad about this since we are supposed to be moving in pretty soon. I don't want to move across country for someone who doesn't actually want or desire me. Would I be taking this too far to say this May be a hidden desire to wish they were still around? I know I'm possibly overreacting in most of your eyes, and if I am please say so. I feel pretty confused but can't talk to my partner because they will think I was trying to create problems when I wasn't. I just need to know how you'd feel if you found out your long time partner uses their name and their exes as their main password? ~MS
Emilia Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 It makes perfect sense because it needs to be something others can't guess, ie it can't be your name. It's just a name for him that he can remember, yes it could be a dog's or his mother's but clearly he picked one that would not come up anywhere else in his life. You are overreacting
Radagast Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 I would add my vote to the "overreacting" group. My wife's passwords are all based upon a combination of words that relate to an in-joke between her and a previous partner. She finds it easy to remember and has used multiple variations on this over the decades. My own most common password likewise was a play on the combination of my, my ex-wife's and my children's initials that I started using 20-odd years ago and have continued using, with variations, over the years. She knows my passwords and does not feel threatened by them, and similarly when she told me the reason behind her passwords, I was amused rather than upset. If you are truly offended by his password, then tell him you came across it and suggest he change it, not just because you find it hurtful but also because his security is now compromised since his password is no longer secret. Most people are reluctant to change their password without a good reason, and he has probably kept his password since the time he was involved with her, so providing him with a reason to change it will likely provide him with the impetus he needs to create a new one, if it matters that much to you. 1
SeattleBabe Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Don't sweat it. Passwords are about remembering the password, not about holding someone in memory. My facebook password is actually the name of my ex when I was 15, have had no time to change since then. If I were you, I wouldn't worry.
Author Moonless sky Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 I sucked up and talked to him about it since he happened to mention if I had a password with a guys name in it, then he wouldn't like it. Convenient I know. Well things are alright and he gave me his reasons. Now onto focusing this long distance relationship toward our move-in date! Oh ya, thanks for setting me straight.
justine4 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I was wondering Moonstruck whether you are going to do anything now you know his password. I mean, are you tempted to log in an look through his emails/messages?
veryhappy Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 First of all, it could be an old password. It doesn't mean it's the current one. Second, sometimes people don't update things because of postponing or lazyness. The fact that he's still have the ex name in a password doesn't mean there are still feelings relevant for th present. I suggest you ask. It's good to build your R on being honest with each other. Once upon a time, I found letters from my bf's mom to him where she was asking him to break up with me, even though she barely knew me. I had found them while looking for something else, and blew up, but talking to him really helped. I would have carried worries that didn't match his reality.
RR1 Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 You need to be careful. Do you know it's the name of an ex for sure? The reason i ask this is because my ex g/f did the same thing and then thought that i might have been seeing someone else. I had used a woman's name in my password but it was my mother's name, she has passed away now so my g/f did not know her name. Be careful you are not jumping to conclusions. It is easy to to do when you only have a small part of the picture.
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