Gulf-Delta Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 I know some of you have been following my story, and it's been a while since I posted anything, so I thought I'd post here, to update and I suppose to maybe give hope to those who are in a bad way or something... I was shocked for sure. Almost 3 months of NiC. Occaisionally, she'll contact me on youtube and leave a comment on one of my videos and all I say is thanks, and that it. But today, out of nowhere I got "Just remembering our fun times hope all is going well for you" We had a light conversation, just catching up I guess. "Yeah, we had some amazing times huh?" Her: "Yeah. I don't know why but this time of year reminds me of our apartment times." Me: "Yeah, it's getting to be that time of year" I asked about her family and all that, but I realized it was pretty much going nowhere. I said "Hey it's been great talking, but it's getting late and you got school/work tomorrow, so I'll let ya go" Her: "Nice catching up, [lame, out of place joke that she'd never make]" Me: "See ya round. You could keep in touch more often than once a season, btw [smiley]" Her: "haha" And that was it...weird experience. I know i'll get blasted for responding, but **** that noise, I'm not gonna be rude to someone like that, especially considering our history. I'm proud of myself for 3 reasons. 1. I had the balls to end the conversation. 2. I did't bring up the past or anything negative. 3. I don't feel as crappy as I thought I would. In fact, I kinda feel good...flattered. Don't know why. My mind isn't shaken like it would've been/used to be. Anyway, that's my update. Back to NC I suppose 1
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 What I'll say is this. I would really, obviously hope for this to be...something. But I know it probably won't be. I'm not expecting it, and I'm not waiting for it. It would be amazing if it did, and of course that's what I want...but I am also living in reality, expecting nothing.
stemac Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Well done you handled it very well Strange how they come back in some Sort of way,
Mr Scorpio Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 I would really, obviously hope for this to be...something. But I know it probably won't be. I'm not expecting it, and I'm not waiting for it. It would be amazing if it did, and of course that's what I want...but I am also living in reality, expecting nothing. Sounds like you're doing well. I just hope that, based on the above, you aren't setting yourself up for a fall. You seem to have a good attitude about it though.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 Sounds like you're doing well. I just hope that, based on the above, you aren't setting yourself up for a fall. You seem to have a good attitude about it though. NAh, I'm cool as a cucumber I won't lie, I am curious as to why she did it. What was she thinking, you know? Clearly, she was missing me/us. She's complex and I'm not gonna try to read into it, as far as if she was legitimately missing me, or just feeling nostalgic for the sake of it. There's one thing I've learned over the past 7 months, and that's that you can't predict the future, and you can't predict what your ex is thinking. There's curiosity. But that's it. Whatever happens or doesn't happen...whatever.
Zammo25 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 If you were mean't to be your paths will cross again in the future. If they do what will you do ? That is the question.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 If you were mean't to be your paths will cross again in the future. If they do what will you do ? That is the question. I don't know what I'll do. I don't know WHAT to do. I can't unless I know her intentions. If she's testing the waters for reconciliation or something, she's gonna have to try harder. The thing is, she won't. She never takes leaps. I'd rather not think about, because I realize I probably won't hear from her until Christmas time. If she DOES maintain contact, I'll will speak to her and eventually bring up us as a couple. If she doesn't, then it's her loss.
Zammo25 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 I don't know what I'll do. I don't know WHAT to do. I can't unless I know her intentions. If she's testing the waters for reconciliation or something, she's gonna have to try harder. The thing is, she won't. She never takes leaps. I'd rather not think about, because I realize I probably won't hear from her until Christmas time. If she DOES maintain contact, I'll will speak to her and eventually bring up us as a couple. If she doesn't, then it's her loss. Good luck. I believe if people were mean't to be it will come again and you can grow stronger as a couple. I don't believe in the screaming of " NO CONTACT " at all costs. Carry on with your life and if she does come back and you love her take a chance.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 Good luck. I believe if people were mean't to be it will come again and you can grow stronger as a couple. I don't believe in the screaming of " NO CONTACT " at all costs. Carry on with your life and if she does come back and you love her take a chance. I believe that as well. But that doesn't mean the fates are gonna just slap the 2 of you together. It still takes effort from both to have a relationship.
Frank13 Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 I thought I'd post here, to update and I suppose to maybe give hope to those who are in a bad way or something... Breadcrumbs
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 Breadcrumbs Whew...what a relief that I don't believe in breadcrumbs then! 1
Exit Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Dunno why you wanna do this to yourself. Sorry I'm not sold on the idea that you're cool as a cucumber, I think having any contact with her is definitely going to get your hopes up (and not just a little bit) and really slow down your moving on. I don't see any big signs to get hopeful about here, especially her simple "haha" in response to your suggestion to make contact more often. That's pretty much the most insignificant response you can send someone aside from just ignoring them. She wasn't into it when you said that. Even something as minor as what you said there just comes across too strong after a breakup.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 Dunno why you wanna do this to yourself. Sorry I'm not sold on the idea that you're cool as a cucumber, I think having any contact with her is definitely going to get your hopes up (and not just a little bit) and really slow down your moving on. I don't see any big signs to get hopeful about here, especially her simple "haha" in response to your suggestion to make contact more often. That's pretty much the most insignificant response you can send someone aside from just ignoring them. She wasn't into it when you said that. Even something as minor as what you said there just comes across too strong after a breakup. Do what to myself? I know and agree with what you're saying. Hence why I don't have my hopes up at all. Back to NC I suppose I'm not expecting it, and I'm not waiting for it. but I am also living in reality, expecting nothing. Whatever happens or doesn't happen...whatever 1
fucpcg Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 NC is no communication. No communication never solved anything. If you are a good guy, and she was a good girl, and you two were good together, then anything can be fixed. However, there is one tool you have to fix issues in a relationship, and that is communication. There is no other tool. If you throw that one tool out, forget it. What MUST happen is that both come to the table to talk, because they both want to. You can't beg the other to come to the table, that won't work. What my ex clearly knows, is that I want to talk to her about things. I make it clear about every 6 months or so. She knows I want to talk, and she knows that time hasn't changed that, because I make it clear to her. I would suggest you do the same with this girl, tell her you care for her, miss her, and want to work things out, and that you want to meet with her if/when she feels the same way. You seem to be a very genuine guy. If you fell for this girl, there must be something similar in her, otherwise why the attraction? If she is a good girl, make it happen.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 NC is no communication. No communication never solved anything. If you are a good guy, and she was a good girl, and you two were good together, then anything can be fixed. However, there is one tool you have to fix issues in a relationship, and that is communication. There is no other tool. If you throw that one tool out, forget it. I agree totally. We were perfect together. Other couple were openly jealous of us. And I suppose, at sometimes, communication was lacking...I guess maybe it was because we were afraid of fights, or the other being mad at us. What MUST happen is that both come to the table to talk, because they both want to. You can't beg the other to come to the table, that won't work. What my ex clearly knows, is that I want to talk to her about things. I make it clear about every 6 months or so. She knows I want to talk, and she knows that time hasn't changed that, because I make it clear to her. I would suggest you do the same with this girl, tell her you care for her, miss her, and want to work things out, and that you want to meet with her if/when she feels the same way. I agree here too. Thing is, she just doesn't want to come to the table. She's happy where she is now, and I'm fine with that. I've begged, I've been mad at her, I pleaded, I've done it all. I've tried and she didn't want it. There isn't much more I can do. I've told her I want to talk, but he won't do it. She's afraid. Afraid it will get too emotional. Afraid that she will give into feelings she has for me will conflict with her current lifestyle. I've thought about telling her again about being open to talk about us...but I don't know if I should even bother. You seem to be a very genuine guy. If you fell for this girl, there must be something similar in her, otherwise why the attraction? If she is a good girl, make it happen. It takes two man. I've tried. The ball is in her court, and I can't make her play.
fucpcg Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 As we both sit in the equally same position... We were amazing together. I've moved on with my life, but I know what we had, I've been around the block long enough to know. I don't know how this story ends, what I do know is that I miss her...
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 As we both sit in the equally same position... We were amazing together. I've moved on with my life, but I know what we had, I've been around the block long enough to know. I don't know how this story ends, what I do know is that I miss her... Yep. I'll always love her because...I'm not a robot...but I'm not counting on anything, as much as it'd be great if she came back
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 15, 2012 Author Posted September 15, 2012 So, I was thinking of sending her this long email about how it was great talking to her, and don't have any bad feelings toward her, but would rather she not contact me unless it's something substantial. But after thinking about this, I realize it probably isn't a good idea. The way I'll handle it is thus. Next time she texts or calls (and I know she will) I will just react accordingly. If it's something substantial (I miss you, I wanna try again, blah blah whatever) I'll respond and talk about it. If it's more fluffy crap, I'm just come out and ask if she wants me back or not. And she'll answer and that will be it.
Frank13 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 What MUST happen is that both come to the table to talk, because they both want to. You can't beg the other to come to the table, that won't work. What my ex clearly knows, is that I want to talk to her about things. I make it clear about every 6 months or so. She knows I want to talk, and she knows that time hasn't changed that, because I make it clear to her. I would suggest you do the same with this girl, tell her you care for her, miss her, and want to work things out, and that you want to meet with her if/when she feels the same way. And what has this gotten you? Every 6 months you tell her you want to talk and apparently she isn't doing it. Part of what makes it hard to move on after a relationship is the blow to our ego. Your 6 month requests to talk strokes her ego and makes it much easier for her to move on, knowing you are in the wings waiting.
Frank13 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 So, I was thinking of sending her this long email about how it was great talking to her, and don't have any bad feelings toward her, but would rather she not contact me unless it's something substantial. But you previously wrote this. NC is no communication. No communication never solved anything. If you are a good guy, and she was a good girl, and you two were good together, then anything can be fixed. However, there is one tool you have to fix issues in a relationship, and that is communication. There is no other tool. If you throw that one tool out, forget it. What MUST happen is that both come to the table to talk, because they both want to. You can't beg the other to come to the table, that won't work. What my ex clearly knows, is that I want to talk to her about things. I make it clear about every 6 months or so. She knows I want to talk, and she knows that time hasn't changed that, because I make it clear to her. I would suggest you do the same with this girl, tell her you care for her, miss her, and want to work things out, and that you want to meet with her if/when she feels the same way. So which is it?
fucpcg Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Wow some of you people have to run off tangent whenever possible... This isn't my thread, don't hijack it. Second, I don't need help with my situation frank, once again it's not my thread. Lastly, I'm sick of all the people in here that repeat the same nonsense over and over, and over. I am NOT HERE to fit in with LS protocol. I'm here to talk openly with people like Gulf Delta. Lastly, you have joined the crowd I've encountered that can't even get their posts right, look at "my" two different quotes.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 But you previously wrote this. So which is it? You quoted 2 different people so I'm not sure what you're getting at :s
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