CurlyIam Posted July 25, 2004 Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by Fayebelle Good point! I frequently read/hear how monogomy is something only Americans take so seriously. Hey Curly- where are you! Is this true? silly girl acts like there's a time difference and she can't be online whenever I am I'll PM her and get back to you! I don't know if Americ takes monogamy more seriously. If I were to look at the divorce rate in the US and compare it to that of Europe, well, those figures speak another story. I am gonna tell you this: my bf saw a documertary about how many sexual partners Europeans had in avarage. He said the top was France: 18 persons. In average. On the other hand I come from Eastern Europe, from an ex communist country. If I were to think of all my friends and of all the relationships they were involved in when I was home, I can only remember one couple who broke up because he was cheating. Seriously. From at least 8 or 9 we (my ex and I) were knew intimately. But then there's the cultural heritqge: because 15 years ago, no one really made any money, but there was a clear discrimination between men and women, women stayed married because they were (in the majority) financially dependent on their men. That and the social status - no one admitted it, but there was a huge pressure to stay married and divorced women were seen slightly better ( very slightly) then loose women. Society would have been quite indulgent with men that cheated - some people were looking at them with appreciation, as machos. Anyway, the biggest crime was to heat a woman and to drink the money - remember, most of people inn the comunist countries lived at the edge of subexistance... Western Europe... I can't tell. I have lived there only one year. But what I can tell is that women see relationship mych differently from people from Eastern Europe. As I see it, French women are much colder and much more selfish. That can be a good thing just as well as a bad thing. I mean if you keep the distance from your man, it's cool 'cause you keep the independence, free time, friends, etc. But you don't have the worm relationship either. What I'm trying to say is if you use someone, don't be too surprised to be used back. I am talking of a certain behaviour larhely regarded as appropriate in a society, in a country, in a city. That too has lots of influence on determening the personal behaviour, the personal choices. Curly P.S. People, I must confess I hate this thread. Honestly. Because making generalisations is wrong. I think it is possible, that given the circumstances, EVERYBODY WOULD CHEAT. I think that everyone has moments of weakness. Some fight the temptation, other give in, other are looking for the thrill. I simlpy don't see the point of talking about it, unless it's about sharing, for the mechanisms that trigger the decision to cheat are different from person to person. We risk to be talking in black and white and to be bashing either MM either OM.
Chrissy21 Posted July 25, 2004 Posted July 25, 2004 There is always a way to justify our wrong-doings. I am an OW an I cannot say that I am proud of it, but I don't feel that I have to justify it to anybody other than myself. I used to be the type of person to think about everybody but myself. I put myself last in every situation. If my best friend liked the same guy I liked I let her go after him. Whatever it may have been at the time I thought of the other person. When I met the MM I'm with today, I just couldn't stop myself from wanting him. From that day on with him- I put myself first. That may have been the first real selfish act of my life. I knew it was completely wrong and I have had my share of sleepless nights consumed with the kind of guilt that makes you feel worthless. I don't have the answer to your question. But it is hard to live with myself.
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