Second chance with ex but theres another guy in the picture

[Matt145]

My ex wanted to give it one last chance and i agreed this was a week ago we are not together as of yet but we are taking it slow and building on it. Over the past week we have seen eachother twice, i went to her house and we didnt do anything sexual or anything all we did was kiss and cuddle and talked. But since ive been seeing her i can tell she loves me, the way she looks at me like she used too and she has told me aswell. So things are going pretty well, she always wants to see me and i can tell in general that she is enjoying seeing me again and she does actualy love me. But theres a guy who really really likes her and at the minute is screwing things up for me, and she likes him but she told me she likes me more and she loves me. My ex and this guy are always talking and he asked her if he could date her a few days ago which she blanked because she didnt want to say no because she said she felt sorry for him. They have been really close friends since we split up, she has been drinking with him on weekends and she has even kissed him he has done a lot of nice stuff for her, and i even think she has been seeing him and even going to his house but that isnt definite, this guy is the definition of a " nice guy " but a really big one, he is just unbelievably nice its wierd how nice he is! I just want to beat the **** out of him he is really irritating me now. But all her friends are telling her to date this guy, my ex's best friend is dating this other guys best friend and she said its just piling the pressure on her, and she feels as if she is letting everyone down by not dating him. But she said if we do get together she will stop talking to him because she wouldnt like it if it was her.

 

But she told me she loves me and she wants me instead because that will make her happier. She told me if she really wanted him she would of just dated him and left me, which is true but i still think shes going to leave me for this guy :/ It wont bother me as much as when i broke up with her but i really want this girl back, she promised me she wanted me but i just dont know anymore, if he wasnt in the picture then me and my ex would 100% be getting back together but its not like that while he's here ive just got a really really bad feeling about this. Should i need to worry about this?

Edited September 12, 2012 by Matt145

[salmagundi]

I think this situation kind of sucks for you. It seems she is in the sweet spot where she has two guys competing for her affections. Who could say no to that? If two women were doing that with me I'd be stoked!

 

I don't know what to tell you other than 1) keep a lid on any insecurities that you may have. If you do any stupid by letting insecurity get the best of you, he wins. 2) never lose your balls, keep them close and they will never let you down. Every man on this site is here because at some point for whatever reason they let their balls get away from them. In your case, at some point you need to grab your balls and tell your ex that if she is serious about you, the other guy has to go. If roles were reversed she would never ever tolerate you drinking on the weekends with a girl that was attracted to you and that had already kissed you before. He needs to go otherwise you know you are wasting your time and SHE needs to go.

 

Good luck:)

[Matt145]

I think this situation kind of sucks for you. It seems she is in the sweet spot where she has two guys competing for her affections. Who could say no to that? If two women were doing that with me I'd be stoked!

 

I don't know what to tell you other than 1) keep a lid on any insecurities that you may have. If you do any stupid by letting insecurity get the best of you, he wins. 2) never lose your balls, keep them close and they will never let you down. Every man on this site is here because at some point for whatever reason they let their balls get away from them. In your case, at some point you need to grab your balls and tell your ex that if she is serious about you, the other guy has to go. If roles were reversed she would never ever tolerate you drinking on the weekends with a girl that was attracted to you and that had already kissed you before. He needs to go otherwise you know you are wasting your time and SHE needs to go.

 

Good luck:)

 

Yeah it is a pretty **** situation, this guy doesnt know what he is getting in the way of, ive known her for 3 years and i was with her for over 2 years. He has known her for 2 months :/, im giving it time thats the only thing i can do, if we do end up getting back together i will keep my balls and tell her he has to go.

[Joaquin]

What is it they say, something like ".. never make someone a priority who treats you only as an option".

Edited September 12, 2012 by Joaquin

[Matt145]

What is it they say, something like ".. never make someone a priority who treats you only as an option".

 

Its only early days yet, i cant expect her to treat me as a priority just yet because were ment to be taking things slow. But as time goes on and if im still a priority ill stand up for myself.

[Liz2012]

Hi, I think you're handling it pretty good, it's a bit of a push-pull situation, you have to go with the flow a bit but draw a line if it messes with your self respect.