x58 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I don't want to make this too long so I will give a quick run down. Me and my girlfriend have been together for just over 3 years, the last year has been long distance. I have made it a point not to hang out with any females one on one and not to even invite any over to my place. She started hanging out with some people, a few girls a few guys which was fine until she started hanging out with this one guy, who she told me she had a crush on, late at night just the two of them. They have hung out a few times like this. I'm not the super jealous type and let it go, till she told me that they "joked about making out". I don't know what that means and I think there shouldn't even be those conversations, I semi let it go until i saw her again and read the last couple texts between them that said something about good thing he isn't there or they'd make out and her saying "I'm not going to lie, I like talking about this with you". She only told me about it a couple days later when, in my opinion, she was afraid it was going to get back to me. Anyways, while i was there visiting, she would delete texts that she sent him and we would be at a party and she would disappear at the same time he did etc. Not saying anything is happening there, but its just suspect. Adding to my not trusting her. So now we are long distance again and she is hanging out with the guy after midnight again (knowing it bugs me). She is way more fun with this guy than with me. She lied to me about little things like how she heard of some show, when i know it was from this guy (she didn't want to talk about him with me). She showed me the most recent texts and i KNOW that she deleted the most recent. A friend saw the texts and told me about them and now they aren't there. I don't want to get this friend more involved and want it to me more concrete. She will joke about what the texts actually said but just as joking around like they never existed. I know that sounds petty... but if she is lying to me over little stuff like that then i have an issue with it. I am "friends" with the guy. I am thinking I could text him and have him forward the last text or two between them and when its different from what she showed me I would proceed from there. I am just wondering if i should go that route (having him forward me the most recent text just to show that its different from hers)... I know its dumb, but several small things add up. I'm tired of feeling like I'm being lied to and just want this solid proof. Thoughts, help, ideas?
WhatYouWantToHear Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I'm tired of feeling like I'm being lied to and just want this solid proof. You ever see the show 'Cheaters'? Its a show that does private investigations into people suspected of cheating. Its pretty formulaic: At the beginning they interview the suspects girlfriend and she cries about about how she found condoms in her boyfriends pants, but they don't use condoms. She found naked pics of another girl on his phone. He disappears for hours on end with bad explanations, etc. Etc. And she always ends the interview with a statement like yours. What proof is enough proof? You confirm with 100% certainty she deleted texts--then what? You confirm she lied to you about the nature of their talks--then what? If this other dude makes her more happy than you, let her go and be happy. Stop putting up these hurldes of evidence you need to actually act.
Balzac Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Why involve the recipient of her texts. You have to act on what is already clear, she disrespects you. How you handle that is on you.
Author x58 Posted September 12, 2012 Author Posted September 12, 2012 Hmm, thats a really good point. Thank you... I would rather cut it and run now than in 5 years when there are kids involved. Thanks, very good advice.
Balzac Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 When the topic of conversation has become what-when but the who is known--why are you still talking? No doubt your feeling pain now. There's never a reason to measure dick size with the competition. She's putting the hurt on you. Next!
jnj express Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Do you have to be dropped on your head, to understand, she has a NEW bf. Just her actions at the party, tell you she now is "dissing" you Time to move along.
nofool4u Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I don't want to make this too long so I will give a quick run down. Me and my girlfriend have been together for just over 3 years, the last year has been long distance. I have made it a point not to hang out with any females one on one and not to even invite any over to my place. She started hanging out with some people, a few girls a few guys which was fine until she started hanging out with this one guy, who she told me she had a crush on, late at night just the two of them. Should have dumped here right then and there when she told you that. They have hung out a few times like this. I'm not the super jealous type and let it go Let it go? Let go her telling you she had a crush on another guy and spends time alone with him? Jealousy has nothing to do with it. That was blatant disrespect. Or are you fine with your gf having crushes on other guys and likes to spend time with them alone? If she is crushing on them, there is a reason she wants to be alone with them. Jealousy? Wake up. So now we are long distance again and she is hanging out with the guy after midnight again (knowing it bugs me). She is way more fun with this guy than with me. She lied to me about little things like how she heard of some show, when i know it was from this guy (she didn't want to talk about him with me). She showed me the most recent texts and i KNOW that she deleted the most recent. A friend saw the texts and told me about them and now they aren't there. I don't want to get this friend more involved and want it to me more concrete. She will joke about what the texts actually said but just as joking around like they never existed. I know that sounds petty Petty? I can tell you right now, she is f****g the guy. I'm tired of feeling like I'm being lied to and just want this solid proof. Thoughts, help, ideas? You have all the proof and common sense smacking you in the face you need. At the very least she hangs out with a guy alone that she is attracted to and wants.
Darren Steez Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 To be fair it's often easier to see clearly about stuff when emotions are not involved, it's not nice to think you're being cheated on or dumped. Having said that.. THIS CHICK IS MAD FOUL SON!!! LDR should now be CUT it off, NO answering her phone, Facebook unfriend, get her out of your life, just for the disrespect alone not to mention the other stuff WOW, I'm even pissed off for you, why don't you get pissed off for yourself? YOU ARE NOT A DOORMAT!! Good luck!
AlexCross Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Stop contact with her immediately, without explanation. Do not respond to her texts, do not text her. She is cheating on you. Let her wonder (not that she cares how you feel) where you disappeared too. You cannot text her, respond to her text, take her off Facebook, just disappear, heal and find someone who is not a piece of crap like her. I guarantee you no contact will get her running back to you. But you dont need a cheating slob in your life.
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