blue_jay_bird Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 (edited) "It's not as if I've stopped loving you. You'll always have a special place in my heart. I'm never going to be able to forget you. But at the same time... I know you need to find someone that makes you happier than I could ever make you. And you deserve the best. And i'll always cheer for you. And wish you nothing but happiness and all the success in the world. I do, still love you." But at the same time... I know you need to find someone that makes you happier than I could ever make you. And you deserve the best. WTF that sounds like such bull****, right. from what i understand this is: He’s basically saying that he doesn’t love you as strongly as you seem to love him. He’s not saying you deserve a better man than him. He’s saying you deserve a better love than he feels for you or believes he will ever feel for you. That’s not to say he doesn’t love you. He may love you very much… but not feel very “in love” with you at the moment. I want to say, don't worry about it. These things happen... ( Life sucks.) He’s saying you deserve a better love than he feels for you or believes he will ever feel for you. This will never change, right? Edited September 12, 2012 by blue_jay_bird
witmadskilllz Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I can relate to this, as a dumpee, I had wrote a final letter when my ex and I officially broke up and 2 weeks afterwards, gave her this letter which entails of my pain, sorrow, and would do everything for her but if she had found happiness with someone else already, I would respect that and wish her the best. I would say... you can't force someone back into your life like that, presumably, dating is about options they say. And good or bad choices, you can't predict anything but to go with the flow. I loved my ex and gave my everything to her, but obviously both our flaws or mine didn't work out in the end. I think of that as a final mutual good bye and wishing the best for your ex to be happy again, either with you or without you. You have to accept that.
geegirl Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 (edited) He's saying he can't give you what you need and that you should move on and find someone that can reciprocate your feelings. He's doing you a favor and letting you go kindly. I know it hurts but he's giving you closure. Edited September 12, 2012 by geegirl 1
witmadskilllz Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 It also hurts us (the dumpees) to let our ex's go. It's hard for us to drop dead to our ex's but in the end, to leave on a good note and no hard feelings, it's unconditional love that we still have for our ex's. As much as we want the relationship to work, if it pains her that much to go through it all, then it's not meant to be.
geegirl Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 It also hurts us (the dumpees) to let our ex's go. It's hard for us to drop dead to our ex's but in the end, to leave on a good note and no hard feelings, it's unconditional love that we still have for our ex's. As much as we want the relationship to work, if it pains her that much to go through it all, then it's not meant to be. Of course, being a seasoned dumpee myself, it's the hardest thing to let someone you love go and it's the most painful feeling to come to terms with unrequited love. But you cannot force someone to love you or be with you. There is no way out of it but to accept and move on, as painful as it is. What's the alternative? Beat a dead horse? You can't resurrect what's dead. You just have to accept that it's changed and there is no way of getting it back to what it used to be. 2
witmadskilllz Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Of course, being a seasoned dumpee myself, it's the hardest thing to let someone you love go and it's the most painful feeling to come to terms with unrequited love. But you cannot force someone to love you or be with you. There is no way out of it but to accept and move on, as painful as it is. What's the alternative? Beat a dead horse? You can't resurrect what's dead. You just have to accept that it's changed and there is no way of getting it back to what it used to be. heh.. sometimes you just have to let go of what's gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what's coming next. Although it's only when they're gone that we realize what we had was something so special.
The_Face Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I got the same letter, pretty much. I bought into it. But it turns out she was just letting me down easy because she was already in love with some other guy. I think it was more so she wouldn't have a guilty conscious, as opposed to actually making me feel better. Oh well. Letters like that are at least better than the "**** you, you toxic drunk *******" letters. I got one of those when I was in community college. Eh... What can you do?
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 12, 2012 Author Posted September 12, 2012 Can unrequited love change?
geegirl Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Can unrequited love change? It's such a rarity to hear something like that happen, and that's why you never hear about it. What would you do to see if it could change? Wait? How long? Life gives you one shot and no more. Spend it waiting or spend it living. Choose. Live with what's been given to you right now. When someone does not want you anymore, it's time to walk away.
Crila16 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Unrequited love very rarely changes. If it gets to the point where the person is saying "I love you, but I'm just not in love with you."...then most likely not. He's had a lot of time to think about it to come up with this conclusion. And they say, a man would rather chew his arm off than to tell a girl he's just not the into her. I know it hurts right now, but it will pass and you will move on and love again. I've been in your shoes and it feels like the heart will never mend. It will...and does all on it's own over time. Once the next guy comes along, you'll see that this other guy wasn't for you and the new guy is perfect for you. THe only difference...the new guy won't be telling you "I'm just not in love with you." He'll be proposing.
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