andyournameis Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Broke up with my boyfriend 11 days ago it was awful in short something so stupid turned into some horrible. He is really angry with me and he said can't trust me and he didn't want to see me as he is still so mad at me. I told him I made a stupid mistake and i know I have paid the price and lost him for good. But he did something awful to me and still doesn't under stand. We were an amazing couple it was our first fight we never even had a cross word before this. He said he was hurting too much to meet me face to face to talk. I broke no contact 6 days ago, just texted to say hey I know its a lot to ask maybe do you think we could say our goodbyes face to face? He said I'll meet ya maybe we can meet for a drink some nite?, I said I'm out this Saturday he said nope I'm away maybe another night? I just texted him sure you organise the drinks and I hope you do text? Then the next day I got a missed call rang him back, left a voicemail to say missed your call is everything ok?? he didn't answer nothing since... So am I right to think that the drink was only a fob off that he doesn't want to meet me after all??
TopCat22 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 If he's still angry at you then you need to wait for these emotions to calm down. Pushing him to meet up with you will do no good. NC is so hard when you want someone back, but you need to realise that a week apart is not enough time to get rid of those emotions. Go back to NC, stick to it and when he is ready he will contact you. Just give him time.
Author andyournameis Posted September 12, 2012 Author Posted September 12, 2012 I understand about giving him time and space but it's the phone call on Friday that is after really throwing me... He might have just rang me by mistake, but when i rang him back no answer, he didn't even text to say rang ya by accident!! So that's why i think that he doesn't care any more and that drink we are ment to have is not going to happen
LostGirl11 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I'd leave it now. You've tried, let he come to you now.
LostGirl11 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I understand about giving him time and space but it's the phone call on Friday that is after really throwing me... He might have just rang me by mistake, but when i rang him back no answer, he didn't even text to say rang ya by accident!! So that's why i think that he doesn't care any more and that drink we are ment to have is not going to happen How does it show that he still cares by texting you to say that he rang by accident? You're over thinking things. Leave him be, if he wants to talk/meet he will let it be know.
TopCat22 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 He might be confused. You'll drive yourself crazy if you analyse every detail. You can't know what he is thinking unless he tells you. Just wait and see what happens.
Author andyournameis Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 He phoned on Friday night after a wedding but he was drunk we did have a chat for 40mins I know he is missing me as much as I am missing him, but I think his pride is getting in the way, so I don't think he could do second chances I said I was so sorry about everything then we were texting for a while afterwards he texted how much I messed everything up... Then he texted yesterday morning to say sorry for waking me last nite, I just said don't be silly that it was good to talk to him again and best of luck with his match on Sunday ( which is so important to him) and I asked him to let me know how he gets on... So here I am again wondering if he will text again? And do u think he might consider giving it another shot at our relationship? I really want to ask him for a second chance but I dunno if I should? But he is still angry at me but not as much as he was... Advice would be appreciated on this please
LosinginLove Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 There is a possibility he may want to work it out or he may not want to work it out. All you can do is give him some space. You said that he's really upset so give him some time to sort out his emotions. In the meantime though, you should try to go on with your life. Keep yourself busy. Hang out with your friends, go shopping, read a book etc. This is a difficult time but mulling over everything really isn't going to make the situation any better. Guys handle their emotions differently than women. We want to talk it out and resolve the problem as quickly as possible but men need time. They usually don't want to talk right away. They need time to calm down and think with a clear head. This may take a few days or a few months so just give him a little more time.
Author andyournameis Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 Thanks for the advice I really appreciate.... Any more advice out there?
ponette Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 There is a possibility he may want to work it out or he may not want to work it out. All you can do is give him some space. You said that he's really upset so give him some time to sort out his emotions. In the meantime though, you should try to go on with your life. Keep yourself busy. Hang out with your friends, go shopping, read a book etc. This is a difficult time but mulling over everything really isn't going to make the situation any better. Guys handle their emotions differently than women. We want to talk it out and resolve the problem as quickly as possible but men need time. They usually don't want to talk right away. They need time to calm down and think with a clear head. This may take a few days or a few months so just give him a little more time. i've not talked to mine in a month. do you think he could be really frustrated and angry and need time to sort things out?
Author andyournameis Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 So he phoned on Monday sober this time!! We chatted for over an hour it was so nice we had a such a laugh, catching up on all the going ons for the last couple of weeks, it was just like the old days... We didn't talk about getting back together, I really want to ask him if there could be a chance for us, but I dunno how to go about it... After we got off the phone I just texted to him to say hey thanks for calling, good chatting to you on the phone and I really miss ya... he just texted back I'll send ya the bill!!.. I wonder does he miss me at all? I would love to know from a mens point of view of this is? Should I ask him? Or should I just forget about it?
Calico Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I would love to know from a mens point of view of this is? Should I ask him? Or should I just forget about it? I asked my ex and got a somewhat clear answer ("I can't do that right now."). I think it's better than spending more time on possibly futile hoping and driving yourself crazy. The "danger" is that he says no, but at least you'll know where you stand, and there's value in clarity (painful as it is). If he does say no, don't beat yourself up for "pushing him away". It's not likely that the eventual outcome would have been different if you had not asked.
TopCat22 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 If you are going to ask him, then make sure you do it in a calm way. Don't beg, don't plead. Simply say that you still have feelings and you would like to try again, does he think that is something he could do. If he says no, or not at the moment or any other variation of such, just accept that answer calmly and tell him you respect his decision. Then go NC and heal.
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