Break up needing support

[S123]

Hi

This is the first time I ever needed too join a forum, I don't know why, but I think I like the idea of writing down my problems.

Recently I went out with this girl who I had a kind of crush on for four years at uni, she was in a relationship for six years, until in the final year she broke up with her long term boyfriend, And we kind of fell for each other.

I had a hard few year at uni, because of problems of heartbreaks and family problems, and into the final year meeting her was the best part of it all.

I felt wanted again, able to share my problems and feelings.

because she was moving to America in a few months for a job contract for two years, she reassured me that it be ok, I can come over with her to work together. I wish that she wasn't going, it nothing I could do stop her.

She said the reason she took the job was because she had nothing going for her, because of the break . I told her I was happy for everything, I wanted her to enjoy herself not to worry about me.

She did say too me once that, with her ex boyfriend when she did camp America for six months, she felt lost with out him, and wanted to finish the relationship. Because she didn't like the idea of having to miss someone at home in England.

Anyway she broke up with me recently, and I don't really know what too do, I feel like ringining her all time texting her, but I feel like am constantly becoming a burden.

I can't seem to concentrate at work I feel emotionally sick, I blame myself for everything. I wish it didn't happen, cause I see her as my light in this dark tunnel.

Sorry I can't seem to write properly, am trying my best to give you a full story

But I just want to know what best to deal with heartbreaks like this.

Still liking someone so much is difficult

 

Thank you for reading, I really appreciate everyone comments

 

Kind regards

S

[Appleness]

Hang in there S!

 

I'm truly glad that you found the forum. I remember finding out and posting here for the first time a few months ago. What I can tell you is that reading through the collective stories here and just realizing that I'm not alone in what I'm feeling gave me the strength to do something that no amount of advice from my friends, family, or even co-workers have ever been able to do for years: I was able to stand up for myself and walk away from a relationship that everyone could see was bad for me. I've had 2 previous break-ups with this person. Both times, he walked away because there was the least wee bit of stress and both times (I'm ashamed to say), I clung to him like a small desperate child. People told that I'd be better off without him but all I could think was "of course you have to say that because you're my friend." I didn't this time. I read other people posts and I learned from them. I realized that my situation was not as bad as some and that gave me comfort. I helped give encouragement and sometimes advice. That filled the void of some of the time and attention I used to give him.

 

I hope you keep an open mind. Depending on who reads your posts, you may get sympathy, apathy or sometimes really tough love. But everyone means well, otherwise they wouldn't bother to post. You will get past this whether you do NC (no contact) or whether you choose some other way of coping such as therapy. You Will get past this and you will become a stronger person. I'm not a religious person but I do believe that we are destined to overcome certain things in our life so that we are grow to be better people on the inside. I hope one day you will be comfortable to share your story with us and get some closure from realizing that you'll be okay on your own. For now, do some things that will make you happy, even if they are frivolous or something that you normally wouldn't do. Working out is a good one, or perhaps find a new hobby or take some classes.

 

Keep posting on here. It helps. I promise. Yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel but the forum is only a flashlight. You have to be willing to use it and you have to want to find a way out.

 

Remember: one day at a time. Good luck

[S123]

Thank you appleness, definitely joining this forum was worth it. It has helped me

Understand more of my problems.

I think I over think too much about her, which is hard not too. Though our relationship maybe short because ony

Four months. But it feels like a known her for so long. I feel like contacting her as it my birthday next week, she knows this anyways. And she sai he wanted to be there for my birthday. In a sense I really want her to

Come. But it like a temporary fix, I don't want to regret not having her there as I will miss not spending enough time with her before se goes to America for few years. I will see her a good friend eventually.

She is really supportive Whenevr I speak too her she tells me

She will always be there for me. I know she still like me, I feel there still a chance, but deep down I don't want it too affect on

My progress. I know it will only be a temporary fix, that won't last very long. I feel guilty all time telling her my home problems, I feel constantly suffocating her though I don't want too. She says am not she says I can speak too et all

Time, she very understanding. We use too Send parcels to

Each other regularly would it be wrong too do that. I do want her to

Come my birthday I know she would

Like too

 

Sorry if my

Writing doesn't make

Sense

 

Thank you

For your supportiveness and reading it. I really appreciate everything you written

[Itsallhappeningnow]

Hi I'm glad I saw your post. I have recently learnt a lot from two very bad break using a row. When I say bad I mean bad for a lot of reasons, but the point I *want to make is this. they were bad because I felt it hard to accept. It's beautiful that you see someone as our light but really, you need to be your own light &your very lucky to have the opportunity to do this. *And this breakup is giving you the opportunity. Think all the good things that will come out of this. I know it hurts but it's there and it happened and if you fell out of control that you can't not call someone then I think something is wrong...like it is with most people. *The good news is that once you are your own light you can love someone more and attract the right relationship in your life.*

 

You may be feeling rejected and if that's it the that's great because you can work on that and move forward. Breakup are hard, but if your going to go through one may as well learn as much as you can because chances are there will be another.*

 

In short, don't worry about her - & on top of that. Mean she is living her life, live yours! :)*