questionlife Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I agreed to show a visiting traveller around town today and took her to the beach and we were talking together when a guy came up and just started talking to us (well, mostly her) and offered for her to come meet some of his friends... I know we weren't on a date, and she's not mine to 'possess' but I felt like saying 'piss off mate, we're together' Instead I let her decide (as I think you should with any grown adult) and she chose to go off with him... I went for a swim and she came back, as I guess I was her ride home to where she was staying, but I just couldn’t help feel a little jaded by her actions - was she rude to just walk away, or I am being silly thinking that it would be polite to stay and be with someone who is taking the time to show you around their city? In general, if I am with a woman, and a guy does this again, what do I say? It's not like I 'own' her and feel comfortable telling him 'go away, we're together' - but if she decides to go with him, should I say or do anything to stop her?
mercy Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 It was extremely rude. Why didn't he/she invite you along? 2
gaius Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 You don't have to tell him to piss off, but do your best to take over the conversation next time. Don't let a guy come up to a girl you're with and run the show. That's your job. There is much truth to the saying that women gravitate toward the alpha in the group. Even if they don't chose to abandon you, women will lose respect if you allow that to happen.
Author questionlife Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 She did look at me for a second before going with him, but I couldn't tell what she was trying to do... judge my reaction, or looking for me to say something to the effect of 'don't go with him' I agree with you Mercy that is was rude, but I also agree with you Gaius that I should or could have stepped in and controlled the situation, but I guess it is hard for me to accept that women still expect men to decide things for them like who to talk to, etc. even if it is based purely on (as you say) the fact that 'that women gravitate toward the alpha in the group' So I guess that men do kind of have to 'lead' women (even though it's against my modern sensible ethics in beieiving that men and women are equal and can both make their own decisions!) but I guess when it comes to behaviour between men and women, we are still ruled by neaderthal caveman (...and cave-women ) thinking! 1
veggirl Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 yes that was super rude of her! How insulting. I don't think it was up to you to control the conversation or whatever, I think it was up to her to be polite and tell them "sure, if XYZ (you) would like to as well" or just "no thank you"
TripLine Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 If I were you, I would have just let her decide, assuming she will choose to stay. If not, then I would know the type of person she was. Acted nicely and not talk to her again.
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