How many times have you had a good feeling about an OLD and been right? Or wrong?

[curlygirl40]

So just a question, curious what you would all say.

 

I have been on line dating for about 2 years, on and off. I actually have pretty good luck, I have met a handful of great guys in that time.

 

I am talking to a new guy, we have plans to meet this weekend.

 

Believe me, I am not planning out our future or anything of the sort, but I just have a feeling about him. Very strong vibe that we will click.

 

We have talked on the phone a handful of times, and been texting for about two weeks (there was a delay with us meeting since I had a death in the family and was out of town for days, so this weekend was the first time we could both do it).

 

I have done this enough times (been on about 30 first OLD dates) to know that you can just never tell if there will be a connection until you meet in person. But this feels different.

 

So what have you all experienced? Times when you thought for sure you would click and you didn't? Times when you thought you wouldn't click for some reason but then found in person that you did?

 

Usually I go into it with cautious optimism, but don't have any clue really.

 

This time it feels different. I'll be surprised if we don't click in person.

 

What are some of your experiences?

[Mme. Chaucer]

I had a very strong feeling about my husband just from his profile and the look on his face in his pictures. Of course, I did not buy into the strong feeling. But it got stronger as we talked - and when we met, I was pretty sure. We never looked back.

 

We had our one year anniversary a few days ago, and were together for 2 years before marrying.

[curlygirl40]

Awww, I love that story!!

 

Most of the time I don't have strong feelings either way. I know that I like enough about these guys from what I've seen/heard to meet and see where it goes.

 

So I'm finding it funny that I'm getting such a strong vibe about this one. I think it's all the time spent on the phone. We shall see!

 

Thanks for your story!!

[Ninjainpajamas]

I usually tend to have the same connection If not stronger with someone I've spoken through OLD and then met them. But that's usually because I establish a pretty strong rapport and communication level before going into meeting, I just don't message people then meet them the next day for coffee...not my style. So it's really no surprise that we click in person.

 

But I've always been the kind of guy that knew what he wanted and had a good way of feeling my way through potential love interest. I knew If a connection was there, I knew this would be something intense and It's just up to me to let that go wild...or not.

 

So in that regard I've always been right...but I have met people casually, and not as love interest or going based off that scale as "friends" or acquaintances. In that arena where my expectations or interest isn't high and actually quite low or indifferent, I can find myself uninterested in the person If they try and take it to a romantic level...then I feel a bit uncomfortable and awkward.

 

Which is why I'm not big on people who use the friend angle or terminology to meet others, I just don't get it myself....still, for me It's so much different than If I'm looking for a romantic interest...on a completely different level with a completely different mindset.

 

Passion/intensity for romance...friendliness and casual for friendship, It's like telling someone to dress to play football and they show up and It's just golf...or the other way around actually. And then the people you meet under the friendship banner judge you based off it :/, ridiculous even If it's not necessarily negative. That's how it works for me anyway.

 

I still always err on the side of caution and I don't see a good reason to change that. I never go into it with that high expectation even If I feel that things will probably go well.

 

Just because I clicked with the person, felt a strong connection doesn't mean I can predict the potential of the relationship. I still have to meet them, see what they're like as a person, see If how they described themselves is true and is demonstrated in themselves as a person instead of just niceties that everyone uses through OLD.

 

If you have a pretty good success rate of meeting great guys...then you're probably doing something right.

[truth_seeker]

I hit it off so well with this girl on the phone from OLD, we spoke for hours, that we decided to meet the same day.

 

We meet and it turned into a disaster. She expected a model. She was not as advertised in her photo. Very awkward meeting with her being defensive and the complete opposite of who she was on the phone.

 

The date ended early. I was polite and walked her to her car and said goodnight. Later on that night she contacts me. She's upset and tells me her life is a mess. She wants to see me again. No thanks. I told her to see a shrink instead.

[FryFish]

My OLD meet ups have usually ended with at least ... um... fun... but I go into with the attitude that "this is gonna be a fun night now and Im going to have fun with WHOEVER it is that I'm meeting, even if she isnt all that I am "expecting"..."... Good vibes beget good vibes.

[Jane2011]

Ironically, I'm not a fan of OLD; yet, it has come through for me twice in the past year. It's just that "scoring" is few and far between. Met a guy last year in November who I was crazy for. We could only date for two months, though, because of strange circumstances having nothing to do with our level of attraction to each other. Also met one this year at the end of July who I'm happily dating now. Everything in between the two of them was horrible!

 

Given my experience, I'd say a single person should always have a profile up, even if just idly. Don't bank on anything, but check it often enough. You might get contacted by a real find. Also, go on some dates just to see what the person is like (provided they meet some minimum standard you have). In the cases of both of the above-mentioned guys, I was sorta "yeah, maybe" on the first date and sorta still "ehhh...I don't know, maybe" on the second date. I continued to go on dates with them because they were good conversationalist, not on the basis of extreme attraction on my part. By the third date in both cases, I was very attracted and fully in.

[LC1976]

So just a question, curious what you would all say.

 

I have been on line dating for about 2 years, on and off. I actually have pretty good luck, I have met a handful of great guys in that time.

 

I am talking to a new guy, we have plans to meet this weekend.

 

Believe me, I am not planning out our future or anything of the sort, but I just have a feeling about him. Very strong vibe that we will click.

 

We have talked on the phone a handful of times, and been texting for about two weeks (there was a delay with us meeting since I had a death in the family and was out of town for days, so this weekend was the first time we could both do it).

 

I have done this enough times (been on about 30 first OLD dates) to know that you can just never tell if there will be a connection until you meet in person. But this feels different.

 

So what have you all experienced? Times when you thought for sure you would click and you didn't? Times when you thought you wouldn't click for some reason but then found in person that you did?

 

Usually I go into it with cautious optimism, but don't have any clue really.

 

This time it feels different. I'll be surprised if we don't click in person.

 

What are some of your experiences?

 

I have only been excited once in 20 or so dates. We ended up dating for a few months, but she had some issues (and maybe I did as well), that ended it. Physically I found her crazy attractive and we had great chem...but its still didnt last.

[oaks]

I sometimes have a good feeling and it turns out to be right. I suspect it's just random chance, though. Plenty of times I'm wrong - either having my expectations exceeded or being disappointed.

[Anela]

I had a very strong feeling about my husband just from his profile and the look on his face in his pictures. Of course, I did not buy into the strong feeling. But it got stronger as we talked - and when we met, I was pretty sure. We never looked back.

 

We had our one year anniversary a few days ago, and were together for 2 years before marrying.

 

I had a feeling like that about someone last night, when I checked out a site on a whim. He came across as a decent guy, had a well-written profile, and he seemed like someone I'd like to spend time with. I also liked that he's my age, and isn't chasing twenty-year-olds; his wanted age range specified 30-40 years of age.

 

Of course, he lives over two-thousand miles away, and I'm feeling like I'm covered in red flags.

 

Oh, yes: Happy anniversary.

Edited September 12, 2012 by Anela

[curlygirl40]

Liking all of your responses, good and bad. It's cool to read.

 

Jane2011 - completely agree. The 2 guys that I really fell for in the past 1.5 years, when I left the first date all I knew was that the conversation flowed and if asked, I would like to see them again. They then both grew on me, slowly, like a fungus. LOL So I try to just approach the first date as 'do I like this person enough to see him again?' and go from there.

 

Ninja-thanks for the compliment at the end especially. I do seem to have a good intuition for people and by the time we meet, even if we don't click, I feel like I have a good grasp of who they are after having talked on the phone, etc. I have truly met a lot of great guys, just not all great for me.

 

Fryfish-very good points. I am approaching this weekend's date as someone who will be fun to be with, even if there ends up being no romantic ish feelings between us. We are having so much fun on the phone with each other, I can't imagine at least that we'll have fun no matter what we do.

 

Thanks again all of you for responding. Interesting responses. It's funny, the whole thing, I think, how you just can't always predict it.

 

I have decided that it's best to be excited and then let down than to never be excited.

 

We talked on the phone again today, another good convo. I'll update this thread after the weekend and let you know how it went.

[AlexDP]

I had a very strong feeling about my husband just from his profile and the look on his face in his pictures. Of course, I did not buy into the strong feeling. But it got stronger as we talked - and when we met, I was pretty sure. We never looked back.

 

We had our one year anniversary a few days ago, and were together for 2 years before marrying.

 

Wow. That really surprises me. You struck me as the kind of person who met her husband 20 years ago, was with him for 5 years and then married him. I'm not judging though, in many ways online dating is more reasonable than normal dating anyway.

[curlygirl40]

Hello!!!

 

Thought I would update quickly.

 

So my last post on this thread was on a Wednesday. Thursday afternoon/evening the texting had a very strange vibe. If I detail it, some people will be like 'come on, so he took an hour to answer, chill' but you know how sometimes when the pattern has been changed you just get a funny vibe? That's how Thursday was.

 

Our date was for Friday lunch. Thursday night, funny vibe, Friday morning he was telling me that he had a bunch of personal stuff to do and warning me that he was dressed very casually.

 

He showed up looking completely unprepared for any kind of date. Shorts, a ratty t-shirt, water shoes and a visor. Yes, a visor. Not to judge his attire, but with all of the other signs, I just got the impression that he had met someone else Thursday night who he was interested in, and went out with me on Friday so as to not be rude and cancel last minute. I get that.

 

After lunch I did send him a text thanking him for lunch and telling him I had a good time. He said he had a good time too. I gave him a in return. And silence ever since. And now his profile is down off the site.

 

Easy come, easy go!! LOL

 

Some will, some won't, so what, who's next?

 

Anyway, just wanted to update you all who replied.

 

I met a guy yesterday from Match. Didn't have all the texting and getting to know you stuff ahead of time like the other guy, had no idea what to expect. That date went VERY well , he's already asked me out for this Saturday night.

 

On line dating, you're such a fickle beast.

[thatone]

pretty telling that female replies seem optimistic or neutral, whereas male replies are making sure to point out that they expect little or nothing from a dating site.

[Imajerk17]

I have done the marathon texting/communicating before the first date twice this past summer.

 

For one of these, the first date ended in a sweet passionate kiss by her car. For the other time, it led to sex in her car.

 

Both times, there was no second date, despite my following through. Something about "the chemistry being off" they said....

 

 

Online dating is weird.

Edited September 24, 2012 by Imajerk17

[Mme. Chaucer]

Wow. That really surprises me. You struck me as the kind of person who met her husband 20 years ago, was with him for 5 years and then married him. I'm not judging though, in many ways online dating is more reasonable than normal dating anyway.

 

Well, I did that, too. Knew my first husband for many years, were together for a few (and had a 5 year old daughter) and then got married. Lasted 14 years.

 

OP - I'm sorry that your experience did not turn out as you would have liked. Carry on, right?