buckenut Posted July 22, 2004 Posted July 22, 2004 I have posted this on another thread, but did not want to hijack it and would like to get some thoughts from this forum. Long story she broke up after 3 years ahs contacted me a lot for the past 6 weeks and we have gone out several times. I was finding it way too hard juat to be friends so I wote her this letter: I am going to try to keep this as short as possible, but what I am saying I have to say. It has been nice talking to you and seeing you on the weekends, but like I have told you before I can not be your friend. My feelings for you were way too strong just to be casual friends. I truly loved you with all my heart, and me allowing myself to be your friend is just a slap in my face. I have never settled for second best and I am not going to start to do it. I have made my feelings for you be known very clearly and you have let me know that is not how you feel about me. It is obvious what I have to offer you is not good enough or what you want so in order for me to fully move on without you I need this space to be able to find that person who will love me equally as much for what I have to offer. Basically what I am saying is unless you have something to say about us, I do not want to be a part of it. All the contact just gives me hope that maybe someday we can work things out and that you still care, but it is obvious that it is false hope and I am not going to live my life holding on to something that I can never have. It is sooo frustrating having no clue what you think about me or us, it drives me crazy. You have not said either way so the only thing I know from your actions is that you do not love me and do not want to ever be with me, so I have to do this for myself. I am truly glad you are enjoying your life and getting out more and experiencing things that you felt you were missing. I want you to know that I never tried to hold you back from these things. I am glad you are realizing how beautiful you are, and it hurts hearing about other guys hitting on you, but at the same time I am happy because you never had a lot of self confidence in yourself. I tried all the time to tell you how great you were, but maybe you need to hear it from someone else to believe it. I have no idea what you are looking for in life or what you are trying to find but I hope you find it, but look hard because often times these things in life are not found in bars or clubs or by people who spend all their free time there. I pray to god every night that you do not get hurt, but I know I need to stop caring so this is my last piece of advice for you. She wrote an email that said : Wow, I'm sorry then. I thought we could be friends but I guess I was wrong. I will always love you. I won't contact you anymore. Then at 1:30am she text me and says: I still have some of your clothes I will drop them off this week and be out of your life, It sounds like she is mad... I did not do this to make her mad... I just needed to be honest with myself and the situation was killing me. How do you think she took it? It kills me that she says she will always love me, then why even after that letter I still have no idea why she broke up or how she feels? I am so numb and confussed right now, but so it goes. It is hard to imagine these might be the last words ever spoken by 2 people who deeply loved one another and did not break up on bad terms.
EC Posted July 22, 2004 Posted July 22, 2004 You obviously love her very much and she cares about you. She wants you in her life as a friend becuase she doesn't want to lose you but she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You cannot handle her being a just a friend and I think you did the exactl right thing which was tell her You cannot be her friend because you feel too much for her. You let it out and you told her how you felt. There's nothing more to do. If it just doesnt work it just doesnt work. Give her her time and do the NC thing. It hurts and it sux but it's the only thing you can do. Hopefully she'll realize what a jem you are before you change your mind!
She's Come Undone Posted July 22, 2004 Posted July 22, 2004 She's probably a little bitter that she can't have her cake and eat it too. She'll get over it! You have self-protected very well, excellent for you!
Author buckenut Posted July 23, 2004 Author Posted July 23, 2004 Thanks for the replies... It is jsut so hard thinking that after over 3 years of being with her that the last communication I will ever have with her is a text message saying I still have some of your clothes, I will drop them off and be out of your life... Ughhh Oh well I would rather walk away with some pride and dignity then holding on and making a fool of myself. BTW I still have not got my clothes back or car key. I did not even rember she had them. It is almost 3 months since we broke up.... I wondder what she is thinking about if anything, my one friend told me know is the forst time since the break up she is really going to have to face what she has done... Who knows... Anyway thanks for the replies.
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