headsashed Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Its been 17 weeks today since my ex cheated on me and broke up with me,no idea what made me just count the weeks,i actually thought i was pushing on 5 months,oh well lol. I have to say though that im a million times better than i was say 8 weeks ago,my life is basically normal now,i eat and sleep perfectly,i can go about my day normally,basically i feel pretty good. It has been hard though and i still sometimes think about her,shes more of a passing thought now though instead of being constantly on my mind,thank god lol. So what has helped me get where i am today (id say im 80% healed) NC has helped so much,being in contact with them just holds you back and you can always find out stuff that hurts. Deleted/blocked my ex and her friends on facebook,no way did i want to see what she was upto. Kept busy,it helped take my mind off her. New job,helped me get out of debt,well just about anyway so thats a big weight off my shoulders. Joined my local soccer team,keeps me fit and i love it,i played for this team for years but left when i met my ex,im glad to be back though. Started hanging around my old friends again,this has helped loads tbh,socialising is a key factor in moving on. I even had a date,it went well at 1st but i decided she wasnt for me,i was honest with her too. I took peoples advice on here,for the 2nd time of asking,so thanks to all those thats helped me,chitown,geegirl,tara,and the rest of you. Ive still some recovering to do but i know im strong enough now,i even found out my ex has a new bf,the other day my friend showed me a post she had made where she said she loved her new bf,did it bother me,nah not really,think that shows how far ive come now. Oh an as for NC,its the hardest but best option to help you heal,ive not heard from the ex in about a month so ive dropped on lucky there considering she used to like to contact me,i used to ignore her before too,so for all those thats still suffering i say stick to NC and just ignore any breadcrumbs your ex might chuck at you,it does get easier i promise 2
Author headsashed Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Doing great, H. So proud of you!!! Thankyou geegirl,im proud of myself,look how bad i was last year and look at me now lol,crazy aint it how time does actually heal. Ive said to myself that come xmas i should be just about 100% healed,if not then im sure it wont be much longer. I actually saw her yesterday,she drove past me while i was walking my dog,my heart used to beat fast when i saw her,i think it slowed down yesterday lol,i felt nothing,god it feels good
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Thankyou geegirl,im proud of myself,look how bad i was last year and look at me now lol,crazy aint it how time does actually heal. Ive said to myself that come xmas i should be just about 100% healed,if not then im sure it wont be much longer. I actually saw her yesterday,she drove past me while i was walking my dog,my heart used to beat fast when i saw her,i think it slowed down yesterday lol,i felt nothing,god it feels good Yes, I remember where you were. I followed your painful journey. Some blasted you, ridiculed you and some came here and helped you through it the best they could. It was such a struggle for you but you did it, H. Eventhough there's still more time to invest in your healing, the best part is that those painful, hurt feelings are gone. The hardest part is over. While I am sure you sometimes still feel pangs, it's much more tolerable and you now see a light at the end of the tunnel. It will only make you want to head for it with much more perseverance and determination. You're definitely 80% there and by X'mas, just imagine you'll be enjoying the holidays with a light heart and happy spirit. And even if you are alone, you'll relish the fact that you are now free to love again and that life will be ready to start opening doors to you. Keep going, my friend! You're an example to those on here hurting that if you try, you can actually get somewhere. Goodie!!! 2
Author headsashed Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 You couldnt have put that any better geegirl,i just wished i would have listened last year,but hey we all make mistakes,this time i learned,the hard way but i still learned. Ive become a much stronger person and i actually feel ready to date again,which is good,not that i will rush anything if and when it happens. I know my mistakes from my past relationship and i wont carry them into my next 1 thats for sure. I suppose its like a stepping stone to a better life. I still get those little pangs in my moments of lonelines but i cope easily. All this came with TIME. 1 thing that helped me quite alot was the fact that she cheated,it was so wrong and i knew i couldnt never get back with her,so i never had hope or anything,the only thing that was on my mind was that i had to heal this time. She has chucked alot of things in my face since we broke up,telling me she was back with her ex bf on the day of my friends funeral,it showed me actualy how immature and selfish she really was,so did i want a person like this in my life? hell no. So knowing she cheated and her being pretty nasty since the BU has helped me move on alot quicker. I dont hold any anger or resentment towards her,whats the point in having anger inside me? it does me no good. Yes she did wrong and hurt me,more than once but im an adult and i had to act like 1. I do hope she ends up happy too,even though sometimes it would be nice to know she felt a little of what i felt,thats not me wanting any sort of revenge,i suppose its more of me wanting her to know that she cant treat people like she does. I know our paths will cross one day,i mean we live on the same street,its going to happen i suppose, atleast i know ill be able to just say hello and carry on walking with a smile on my face,not because im over her,but because this time around i held my head high and became a better person. 1
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 It doesn't matter when you listened, but that you listened. Each and everyone will go through their own journey the best way they know how. It's never on anyone else's timeline but yours. It's good to hear that from your pain you experienced growth and you now have much more wisdom and emotional smarts to carry you into your future journeys!
Mike_d Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 been in a severe tailspin for the last few weeks, I needed a positive message of hope and faith in the future more than I can say. thanks for taking the time to post, it's helped me
Author headsashed Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 been in a severe tailspin for the last few weeks, I needed a positive message of hope and faith in the future more than I can say. thanks for taking the time to post, it's helped me Im glad its helped you mike,just know that things do get better,no matter how hard things seem right now.
sweetheart5381 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Im glad its helped you mike,just know that things do get better,no matter how hard things seem right now. Nice post... and yes they do get better, much better. Excellent message and I will second that emotion! I personally don't think about my ex at all now - even as we pass each other at work, he doesn't register as anything more than a vague memory. Very strange how the heart heals but it does indeed and often you don't even realize it's healed because you are free of the pain. Thanks for the thread
Author headsashed Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Nice post... and yes they do get better, much better. Excellent message and I will second that emotion! I personally don't think about my ex at all now - even as we pass each other at work, he doesn't register as anything more than a vague memory. Very strange how the heart heals but it does indeed and often you don't even realize it's healed because you are free of the pain. Thanks for the thread You are right,you dont seem to realise the heart has healed/start healing,it just happens and the memories get less and less. Its nice to know my thread is some sort of inspiration to people,it wasnt intended to be lol. I think it all boils down to time,i didnt think id be this far healed in 17 weeks,roll on xmas time and i should be free of this horrible feeling
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