LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I had a good day yesterday, I hardly thought about him and when I did I was remembering the bad, and this morning I woke up feeling pretty ok too, then BAM! I check my emails and theres one from him. I knew it was going to be bad, I didn't feel excited or anything, but I did think, maybe just maybe he wants to apologise. But all he done was dig me in the ribbs a little more, he basically told me how I had taken him for an arse**** and how he will never trust me again after breaking a promise, then it got a bit weird, at the end of the email he said how he hopes I find someone nice and that I have a good life. A part of me thought 'Oh well, thats kind of a nice thing to say' But then I realised I was being naive, he was being nasty yet again! What was the point in that stupid email?! To hurt me? It's done, I've left him alone why on earth couldn't he just leave it? I'm livid! NO! I won't be emailing him back, the boy isn't even worth the head space! I'm just so so angry. I had to vent this otherwise I probably would have emailed him a very long and home hitting email back.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I had a good day yesterday, I hardly thought about him and when I did I was remembering the bad, and this morning I woke up feeling pretty ok too, then BAM! I check my emails and theres one from him. I knew it was going to be bad, I didn't feel excited or anything, but I did think, maybe just maybe he wants to apologise. But all he done was dig me in the ribbs a little more, he basically told me how I had taken him for an arse**** and how he will never trust me again after breaking a promise, then it got a bit weird, at the end of the email he said how he hopes I find someone nice and that I have a good life. A part of me thought 'Oh well, thats kind of a nice thing to say' But then I realised I was being naive, he was being nasty yet again! What was the point in that stupid email?! To hurt me? It's done, I've left him alone why on earth couldn't he just leave it? I'm livid! NO! I won't be emailing him back, the boy isn't even worth the head space! I'm just so so angry. I had to vent this otherwise I probably would have emailed him a very long and home hitting email back. In a way, Lost, I am glad he sent that email. Anything sweet and nice would have possibly sent you down the wrong path again. He's just proven and solidified reasons as to why you are better off without this man child. Don't respond, and I know you won't! Best to block his email and keep moving on. He's just being a spoiled child because he's not getting his way but most of all, he's looking for a reaction. And he knows you will most likely react when he jabs and makes you angry. Don't give him the satisfaction.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 were you the dumper or dumpee? Dumpee... 10 char
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 In a way, Lost, I am glad he sent that email. Anything sweet and nice would have possibly sent you down the wrong path again. He's just proven and solidified reasons as to why you are better off without this man child. Don't respond, and I know you won't! Best to block his email and keep moving on. He's just being a spoiled child because he's not getting his way but most of all, he's looking for a reaction. And he knows you will most likely react when he jabs and makes you angry. Don't give him the satisfaction. I've just remembered something, do you remember me telling you how I kept texting him and he told me to 'get f**ked' Well... I didn't, well not straight away, I sent him one last message, it was a pretty long one but it was to say bye, I said that I wasn't expecting a reply and asked him not to reply just to say something hurtful. See, he obviously didn't like that, he didn't like the fact that I didn't want a reply. But of course he had to didn't he! The whole, have a good life thing was him being nasty wasn't it? I'm so naive sometimes.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I've just remembered something, do you remember me telling you how I kept texting him and he told me to 'get f**ked' Well... I didn't, well not straight away, I sent him one last message, it was a pretty long one but it was to say bye, I said that I wasn't expecting a reply and asked him not to reply just to say something hurtful. See, he obviously didn't like that, he didn't like the fact that I didn't want a reply. But of course he had to didn't he! The whole, have a good life thing was him being nasty wasn't it? I'm so naive sometimes. The "have a good life" was to jab at you hoping you will react. It's to instill fear in you, to jolt you because you'll be afraid of losing him, therefore reach out. If someone truly wanted to be happy for you, they wouldn't send you an email with digs. Plus, all this because you couldn't make it to him on time for his birthday. Absolutely bananas. Emotional maturity of a rock.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 The "have a good life" was to jab at you hoping you will react. It's to instill fear in you, to jolt you because you'll be afraid of losing him, therefore reach out. If someone truly wanted to be happy for you, they wouldn't send you an email with digs. Plus, all this because you couldn't make it to him on time for his birthday. Absolutely bananas. Emotional maturity of a rock. He said something like 'How am I meant to trust someone that broke their first promise' Come on! I was actually scratching my head whist reading that.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 He said something like 'How am I meant to trust someone that broke their first promise' Come on! I was actually scratching my head whist reading that. You didn't even break it. You just changed your plans! He sounds like he's 7. Very immature and controlling.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 You didn't even break it. You just changed your plans! He sounds like he's 7. Very immature and controlling. I said how I was only going to be a few days late. But no, I broke a promise and thats a big deal to him he says. Really!?!
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I said how I was only going to be a few days late. But no, I broke a promise and thats a big deal to him he says. Really!?! Lost, you didn't "break" a promise. You couldn't get to him the day you promised because you felt there was an easier way but it would get you there a few days later. What's the big deal??? Any mature man, would have said that's perfectly fine knowing it was less of a toll on you and wouldn't have mind that you weren't there to watch him blow the candles of his freaking birthday cake, because in just a few days you'd be there to have birthday Round 2 with him! How exciting! It's not as if you said you weren't going to visit him!!!! Get pissy about that, I understand. You can make exceptions. You can be accommodating. You can be flexible. All good to have in a relationship. Just because of that he crucifies you and ends the relationship? He's manipulative and controlling. My way or the highway.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Lost, you didn't "break" a promise. You couldn't get to him the day you promised because you felt there was an easier way but it would get you there a few days later. What's the big deal??? Any mature man, would have said that's perfectly fine knowing it was less of a toll on you and wouldn't have mind that you weren't there to watch him blow the candles of his freaking birthday cake, because in just a few days you'd be there to have birthday Round 2 with him! How exciting! It's not as if you said you weren't going to visit him!!!! Get pissy about that, I understand. You can make exceptions. You can be accommodating. You can be flexible. All good to have in a relationship. Just because of that he crucifies you and ends the relationship? He's manipulative and controlling. My way or the highway. Argh, I wish I had worded it better now! Don't worry I'm not going to! I just wish I was more clear about how I wasn't breaking a promise. I said something like, 'I was going to come, I just going to be a few days late, its not like I wans't going to come at all.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Argh, I wish I had worded it better now! Don't worry I'm not going to! I just wish I was more clear about how I wasn't breaking a promise. I said something like, 'I was going to come, I just going to be a few days late, its not like I wans't going to come at all. Doesn't matter how you worded it. It didn't justify a break-up or such an negative reaction. What you said was completely fine. As I said, any mature individual would have been fine with it rather than read it as something so horrible. If I was your boyfriend, I would have said, "Oh, honey, that means you won't be here for my birthday. That's okay, we can spend my birthday when you get here. If it's easier for you and less of a toll, then come a few days late. I'm so excited!! So what are your travel plans again?" Doesn't that sound like normal conversation between two people that love each other and are mature in dealing with changes, because LIFE happens? God forbid if you should ever change your mind about something and he runs naked down the streets screaming the world is about to end.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Doesn't matter how you worded it. It didn't justify a break-up or such an negative reaction. What you said was completely fine. As I said, any mature individual would have been fine with it rather than read it as something so horrible. If I was your boyfriend, I would have said, "Oh, honey, that means you won't be here for my birthday. That's okay, we can spend my birthday when you get here. If it's easier for you and less of a toll, then come a few days late. I'm so excited!! So what are your travel plans again?" Doesn't that sound like normal conversation between two people that love each other and are mature in dealing with changes, because LIFE happens? God forbid if you should ever change your mind about something and he runs naked down the streets screaming the world is about to end. You're right. It was so rediculous. If I reacted like that he would have called me a drama queen or a 'princess' as he always called me when I was upest with him. Now who's acting like a little princess! I could have worded it better though, I think. But, it wouldn't have made a difference, he was right I was wrong. End of. Ha! There is no reasoning with someone like that.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I could have worded it better though, I think. But, it wouldn't have made a difference, he was right I was wrong. End of. Ha! There is no reasoning with someone like that. Yes, there is no reasoning with someone like that. You will most likely always have to give in because there is no compromise or capability to communicate effectively and maturely.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Yes, there is no reasoning with someone like that. You will most likely always have to give in because there is no compromise or capability to communicate effectively and maturely. Well I kind of did give in didn't I, he made me say sorry, which I did! I really thought he'd get over his tantrum! Not that I'd take him back or anything, just thought he would have cooled off by now.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Well I kind of did give in didn't I, he made me say sorry, which I did! I really thought he'd get over his tantrum! Not that I'd take him back or anything, just thought he would have cooled off by now. Ok, time to stop second guessing yourself and going through every word with a fine tooth comb. He even made you apologize, and you didn't even know what you were apologizing for. See how this is manipulative and controlling? People like this don't get over tantrums. They thrive on the drama. Even if he cooled off, he broke up with you over nothing! Everytime you cross a line with him, in his eyes, you will walk on eggshells because you don't know what's going to trigger another outburst. Time to quit analysing the surface. The meat and bones of this is that you don't want to be in a relationship like this. And Lost, you did nothing wrong.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Ok, time to stop second guessing yourself and going through every word with a fine tooth comb. He even made you apologize, and you didn't even know what you were apologizing for. See how this is manipulative and controlling? People like this don't get over tantrums. They thrive on the drama. Even if he cooled off, he broke up with you over nothing! Everytime you cross a line with him, in his eyes, you will walk on eggshells because you don't know what's going to trigger another outburst. Time to quit analysing the surface. The meat and bones of this is that you don't want to be in a relationship like this. And Lost, you did nothing wrong. I know. I over think things way too much. And no, I didn't do anything wrong. I need to stop giving myself such a hard time. But like I said, I feel sorry for him! That needs to stop! I know! I just really hope this doesn't spoil my christmas! Thats when we first started talking, thats when he was nice and would go out of his way to make me smile, now he goes out of his way to upset me.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I know. I over think things way too much. And no, I didn't do anything wrong. I need to stop giving myself such a hard time. But like I said, I feel sorry for him! Extend your empathy to those that deserve it, not to those that mistreat you. Your emotions for him are making you feel that way. When you've detached from him, you'll hardly feel sorry for him, but for yourself in allowing YOU to be treated that way. I know! I just really hope this doesn't spoil my christmas! Thats when we first started talking, thats when he was nice and would go out of his way to make me smile, now he goes out of his way to upset me. How could it spoil your coming X'mas? If he was consistent of his treatment with you, as he was in the beginning, then I can understand feeling sad that you are missing out on him. If he's upsetting you now, chances are he will ruin your X'mas. If anything, your Xmas will be spoiled with him rather than without him because he's not the same person you once met. Don't romanticize and idealize him.
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 I know. I over think things way too much. And no, I didn't do anything wrong. I need to stop giving myself such a hard time. But like I said, I feel sorry for him! Extend your empathy to those that deserve it, not to those that mistreat you. Your emotions for him are making you feel that way. When you've detached from him, you'll hardly feel sorry for him, but for yourself in allowing YOU to be treated that way. I know! I just really hope this doesn't spoil my christmas! Thats when we first started talking, thats when he was nice and would go out of his way to make me smile, now he goes out of his way to upset me. How could it spoil your coming X'mas? If he was consistent of his treatment with you, as he was in the beginning, then I can understand feeling sad that you are missing out on him. If he's upsetting you now, chances are he will ruin your X'mas. If anything, your Xmas will be spoiled with him rather than without him because he's not the same person you once met. Don't romanticize and idealize him. Nope, he's not the same person I fell for. I'm just worried I'll be constantly thinking 'this time last year' Meh! Oh, I'm not doing either at this moment in time, but it's funny what xmas does to people.
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Nope, he's not the same person I fell for. I'm just worried I'll be constantly thinking 'this time last year' Meh! Oh, I'm not doing either at this moment in time, but it's funny what xmas does to people. It's normal to do the "this time last year"...I did that often with my ex. You can think it, but counter it with, well last year was different but I see him for who he is, that wasn't him when...so on and so forth. Don't dwell and fester on idealizing. Move on to another thought. Think it but don't react on it. Holidays will get the best of everyone, you are not the exception. It's a rule when it comes to break ups. Just let it come and let it pass. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 It's normal to do the "this time last year"...I did that often with my ex. You can think it, but counter it with, well last year was different but I see him for who he is, that wasn't him when...so on and so forth. Don't dwell and fester on idealizing. Move on to another thought. Think it but don't react on it. Holidays will get the best of everyone, you are not the exception. It's a rule when it comes to break ups. Just let it come and let it pass. No, that wasn't him. It was all fake, it was all to woo me. I'll have to remember that. 1
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