Author hardlybreathing Posted September 14, 2012 Author Posted September 14, 2012 I am curious why does everyone think a background check is any indicator of what this or any other person has grown to be. So much of what I read here seems to be that no growth is allowed for in a person. I had trouble with the law when I was young( dwi,some other miner stuff ) but I believe I have done well with myself, I am successful and have been married for some time and have not cheated. The things I did in the past do not haunt or change my choices now Thank you for that. You know I believe we are all human, we make mistakes, but its what you do to try and correct those mistakes is what builds character. I think the thing everyone was and is concerned about is that this man may be a con artist, or something that could cause me financial harm. And I appreciate that. But I have met his parents, he has a great job and has been with this company for many years, so no red flags. Contrary to every other poster on this thread I'm going to stick my neck out here and say go for it. You are a big girl now, and after years of being 'sensible'... (and look where that got you btw) it is about time you followed your heart/your feelings. Again, thank you for that. Honestly after reading all the posts here, I have become almost depressed thinking that I've made a terrible mistake in all of this. Literally, scared to death. And yes, I have always been practical in my thinking. I've dated people for years, married for years and none have worked out, even after I put in the time. I'm not jumping in as early as I posted at the beginning of this thread, but I don't believe I will be waiting for years either. Been there and done that.
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 Again, thank you for that. Honestly after reading all the posts here, I have become almost depressed thinking that I've made a terrible mistake in all of this. Literally, scared to death. And yes, I have always been practical in my thinking. I've dated people for years, married for years and none have worked out, even after I put in the time. I'm not jumping in as early as I posted at the beginning of this thread, but I don't believe I will be waiting for years either. Been there and done that. I don't think anyone intended to scare you to death. But six weeks is just very early. There's a lot in between six weeks and 'waiting for years'. I mean, just six months would make a huge difference in terms of how well you know this person. I know you think you know him fully already, but I stick to the idea that this simply isn't possible, for any of us. That doesn't mean he's a bad person. 1
JamesM Posted September 14, 2012 Posted September 14, 2012 I would agree with Denise. Many of us who are parents imagine our own son or daughter in your position and gave advice based on that. I know that you and I are about the same age, but the advice I gave to you is what I myself would hopefully follow if I were in your position. Don't be depressed. Be happy. And hopefully you will be a little less worried that something unknown will show up with this new guy.
mem11363 Posted September 15, 2012 Posted September 15, 2012 Hardly, Don't let us kill your happiness. No one here is trying to do that. I believe most of us are simply encouraging a fully informed decision. As for what you discover in any checks, it absolutely should be time weighted. I would have no issue with a person who had some issues in their youth (into their twenties) and got past them. Nor would some financial challenges be an end game as long as there wasn't a consistent pattern of them. I wish you the best with this man. Thank you for that. You know I believe we are all human, we make mistakes, but its what you do to try and correct those mistakes is what builds character. I think the thing everyone was and is concerned about is that this man may be a con artist, or something that could cause me financial harm. And I appreciate that. But I have met his parents, he has a great job and has been with this company for many years, so no red flags. Again, thank you for that. Honestly after reading all the posts here, I have become almost depressed thinking that I've made a terrible mistake in all of this. Literally, scared to death. And yes, I have always been practical in my thinking. I've dated people for years, married for years and none have worked out, even after I put in the time. I'm not jumping in as early as I posted at the beginning of this thread, but I don't believe I will be waiting for years either. Been there and done that.
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