lifeasiknowit Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 So, my conundrum is I want to try POF but I know my ex (he broke it off 2 months ago) is on there. I discovered he created a profile literally a few days after our break up (which really hurt). I feel hesitant putting up my profile, because the idea of us seeing each other online makes me feek awkward and a little embarassed. However, I don't want to not put up a profile just because of him, and let that limit my own opporuniities in meeting someone. Thoughts?
phineas Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Yeah, so what? He's on there also. What is he going to say? LOL!
SmileFace Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Big deal. If you wander across his profile just put it on block. I remember I ended things with m my ex - we both made new profiles and he still ended up being my top match. However don't worry about him.
DuchessKaye Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 ^ Yeah, it's crazy when you sign up on a dating site only to see your ex on your matches. Happened to me twice. If we were really a match then why is he just an ex now? Anyway, how about you try another dating site, OP? POF is not that great, anyways.
KatZee Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 POF is hands down the WORST OLD site you can possibly try. POF is notorious for being full of players. They're the hit it and quit it kind of guys. My good friend is on POF and it's like she seems to not get how terrible it is. She's been used as a booty call probably a good 5+ times, if not more. I'm not sure what you're looking for, but if you're looking for quality, you're not going to find it on POF.
venusianx13 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 This situation can be easily remedied if once you create your profile, you immediately block your ex. I never liked POF, though, just for the record. I had good luck on OKCupid, though. They seem to use a similar matching system to eHarmony (although free), and the more questions you answer about different aspects of your personality, beliefs, etc., the better your matches are. At any rate, I wouldn't bother blocking if I were you. If he sees your profile, he'll know you're getting on with your life (as you should)!
Jane2011 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I was on OkCupid for a while at the same time as an "ex" of mine was (he was someone I'd only dated for two months, but the involvement was pretty intense). I didn't mind too much. I even kinda hoped he looked at my profile. I definitely looked at his. But I don't think it's that big a deal. You just know to avoid each other. You certainly can't not have that avenue open for yourself (when it could very easily bring you great opportunities) just to avoid him. I'm very fortunate I stayed on the site because I met the guy I'm dating now on there. (Actually knew him from before from school, but we made the re-connect via OkCupid and it very likely wouldn't have happened just out in the real world, as we live in a big city and you just don't run into others all THAT easily, depending on how often you go out and where). I say...get on the site if you feel you want to. Just ignore him. Or, as someone else said, block him immediately.
oaks Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Thoughts? You shouldn't be dating until you are over your ex. (which obviously you aren't or you wouldn't be asking us to think for you.)
phineas Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 POF is hands down the WORST OLD site you can possibly try. POF is notorious for being full of players. They're the hit it and quit it kind of guys. My good friend is on POF and it's like she seems to not get how terrible it is. She's been used as a booty call probably a good 5+ times, if not more. I'm not sure what you're looking for, but if you're looking for quality, you're not going to find it on POF. It's ALL the sites. Most women are DTF if they find the guy hot enough.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 POF is hands down the WORST OLD site you can possibly try. POF is notorious for being full of players. They're the hit it and quit it kind of guys. My good friend is on POF and it's like she seems to not get how terrible it is. She's been used as a booty call probably a good 5+ times, if not more. I'm not sure what you're looking for, but if you're looking for quality, you're not going to find it on POF. From man chatter I've heard from men that POF is way better/easier getting laid than other sites such as OKCupid, where it was either low to zero success rate. So that says something when one website you're dramatically...as a guy having much more success rate on one website versus another. Guys want to do the least amount of work in getting laid, I've heard OKCupid is too much work and too difficult, whereas POF is simple and women are DTF. So If I was a single guy with little game, I know what website I would choose! I've seen POF one time and I remember it reminded me of a cheap strip club, not sure If it's changed but OKCupid was the only OLD I've had experience and I found it high quality, and from what I've heard by is much easier/better for women than for men in general. I've seen/heard average to below average women do extremely well on OLD websites (looks department) so It's a good ego boost for women, as far as men...well you're probably better off trying POF, you'll likely get low success on OKCupid If you don't know how to write or talk to women in the first place. As far as Phineas comments...that kind goes without saying! Anybody is hot/really good looking doesn't typically need OLD, it's just another venue to meet people on. You make an account, fill out of a half @ss profile and you'll have at least a reasonable messages just based on your looks as man, as a woman your inbox will be full by the end of the day. As far as the advice, I would just block him...you guys are both hitting the track soon after your breakup, what else do you expect besides being hot messes?
Author lifeasiknowit Posted September 12, 2012 Author Posted September 12, 2012 I'm probably not ready to date again, but what does it say about him if he's ready literally days after our breakup? That he never cared? I feel like if he has moved on, maybe I should try too. I won't know if I'm ready until I try. But you are all right. I shouldn't care what he thinks if he sees me on a dating site.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I'm probably not ready to date again, but what does it say about him if he's ready literally days after our breakup? That he never cared? I feel like if he has moved on, maybe I should try too. I won't know if I'm ready until I try. But you are all right. I shouldn't care what he thinks if he sees me on a dating site. Yeah, he probably didn't care....so you're going to go online just to spite him? sure that's going to help you out so much!, I'm sure you'll pick the best guy under those conditions! Look, your feelings are your own...If you were hurt and broken to a degree by the last guy then you can pretty much guarantee you're going to carry that with you into the next thing. Give yourself time to get over it, what happens IF you meet another doucebag and he does the same thing? then what? right back on the horse? You know what kind of women do that? the ones that get keep getting hurt the most. You'll know when you're ready when you're ready...there's no not knowing If you're ready until you try, you need emotional and mental stability, once you feel that you move forward. You seem like someone who will not take advice however, so good luck. Just remember that's it's your insecurity that is driving you, when that happens nothing good comes out of it, even if you do find someone, you'll still be broken and screwing that up.
The Way I Am Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I'm probably not ready to date again, but what does it say about him if he's ready literally days after our breakup? That he never cared? Just because he had a profile up days after you broke up doesn't mean he was or is actually ready to date. Even so, why does that matter? Whether he's ready to date or not, whether he ever cared or not doesn't change the fact that you're now broken up. If it makes you feel better and helps you to start moving on, put up your profile.
Flicka Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 I would shy away from POF in Chicago. OKCupid was much better for me in the city. But really, he'd practically have to be searching for you to find your profile on POF in Chicago. 1
The Way I Am Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 From man chatter I've heard from men that POF is way better/easier getting laid than other sites such as OKCupid, where it was either low to zero success rate. That explains a lot. I was very quickly turned off of OLD by POF. I thought it was OLD in general.
utterer of lies Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 POF is hands down the WORST OLD site you can possibly try. POF is notorious for being full of players. They're the hit it and quit it kind of guys. My good friend is on POF and it's like she seems to not get how terrible it is. She's been used as a booty call probably a good 5+ times, if not more. Yeah that's really bad. She got sex without strings attached when she wanted it. The poor girl.
Recommended Posts