kidphoenix96 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Hey this is my first post here on this forum. I'm a 22 year old college student from Virginia and I've never had a girlfriend before. It seems like every time I find a girl that I am attracted to I start off good and then it falls apart. I'm not coming off as needy and aggressive as I give girl plenty of space. Also I was wondering if the fact that I'm a big guy have anything to do with it. I'm 6'3 and 325 lbs. I'm black but I'm more into Hispanic and White girls. I can talk to girls that I am not attracted to with ease but for the one's that I am interested in pursuing a relationship with everything falls apart. I really don't know anything about dating. Please help.
bdash Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 haha well I know exactly where you are coming from in terms of not talking easily with girls you want. A couple things that I think may make it harder for you than others 1) your weight. I am sorry to say this but girls really like the chiseled body, and while I am not sure what you look like I am gathering from your description that you don't fit this profile 2) I don't mean to be racist, and it is possible that since I live in an area where race generally follows economic lines this may be a wrong impression, but I do not see nearly as many interracial couples as ones of the same race. I know this is stupid, but looks mean a lot more to girls than they let on (IMO), so even if the difference is only skin deep it can be enough to turn someone off, sadly. I am certainly no dating expert, but I would say that if you just try to approach girls you will eventually learn what you need to. Also asking questions, and asking friends for tips can't hurt. Its a slow, embarrassing process (Im trying to learn now also, Im 19) but I feel like it is one that we all have to go through, unless we just happen to get very lucky. Also losing weight would help you a lot I think. While girls will go home with someone who is not thin it is less common than with a muscular or even thin guy.
alysamartin001 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Start talking with girl at college time. If you have any social networking account you can chat their. You can make profile at online dating site like match.com and zoosk.com and start flirting their. It should be helpful for finding best dating friend forever.
ShyOne82 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Hey..I'm not trying to be a jerk but attraction plays a major role when you first meet someone. Most people find out if there is a connection after that initial phase so if ur a big guy and ur checking out women that are fit and/or have higher standards, better luck next time. There aren't alot of female chubby chasers out there but they do exist! It's impossible for a woman to look at a guy and know what they are about, if they are sweet, well-mannered, smart, etc.. so the problem has to be in the looks dept. If you are comfortable with who you are try to be around women that like ur type, maybe ask around and find out what their interests are and go from there. Good luck
Emilia Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 OP it's probably your size and probably the fact that you 'give them a lot of space' meaning you are too shy/defensive. Get fit, lose weight and start practicing talking to women in non-threatening situations (ie when you are not attracted to them) to learn how to pick up social cues from them. Talk to shop assistants, chat them up a little with a big wide smile, talk to older women as well as younger ones
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