For men who don't have primary custody of their kids...

[M30USA]

I'm having a hard time adjusting to only having my kids 25% of the time. I only see them every other weekend. This is just hard to accept. I couldn't stay in my marriage because my wife was physically violent and I was afraid of her--embarrasing to admit. I thought I would stand a good chance in court, especially since she was arrested. But I didn't. She still won primary custody. We did a good job in court with my lawyer too. We tried real hard and fought a good fight. I guess I should be happy that I didn't lose access to my kids entirely--since my wife threw countless false accusations against me. But fortunately my lawyer exposed her as an exaggerator and liar.

 

So seeing my kids every other weekend is hard. I feel like my ex wife's parents have more influence in their lives than I do right now. They are intrusive, smothering people. They have had their eyes on raising my children from day one. Even when married my wife admitted that they practically wanted to have our kids as their own. It's unhealthy. Here I am, a perfectly good father, who doesn't get to spend nearly enought time with them.

 

My family tells me it's the quality of the time together, not the quantity. I can only hope.

[mizzat]

I'm having a hard time adjusting to only having my kids 25% of the time. I only see them every other weekend. This is just hard to accept. I couldn't stay in my marriage because my wife was physically violent and I was afraid of her--embarrasing to admit. I thought I would stand a good chance in court, especially since she was arrested. But I didn't. She still won primary custody. We did a good job in court with my lawyer too. We tried real hard and fought a good fight. I guess I should be happy that I didn't lose access to my kids entirely--since my wife threw countless false accusations against me. But fortunately my lawyer exposed her as an exaggerator and liar.

 

So seeing my kids every other weekend is hard. I feel like my ex wife's parents have more influence in their lives than I do right now. They are intrusive, smothering people. They have had their eyes on raising my children from day one. Even when married my wife admitted that they practically wanted to have our kids as their own. It's unhealthy. Here I am, a perfectly good father, who doesn't get to spend nearly enought time with them.

 

My family tells me it's the quality of the time together, not the quantity. I can only hope.

 

first off im sorry to hear the situation you are in i know its hard but keep ur head up. Always remember the kids always remember the parents that gave them the most love and support all u can do is try to work through this maybe you ex might let u have more time if not sorry. that is true it is the quality not the quantity just never take the time you have with your kids for granted they will always remember that

[PoopHappens]

Thanks for posting this. It is completely and totally unfair. I have no doubt your kids will always be yours but it doesn't detract from the fact that you can't spend time with them.

[Decisiontomake]

That's just a terrible situation to be in. I can't imagine how it must feel for either parent to want to be away from the spouse/partner, but with that has to sacrifice time with their children. Heartbreaking.

 

I can only tell you that from my husbands experience with his ex-wife he had a nightmare when the kids were younger (he left when they were 9 and 7), and lost touch with them for a number of years due to her behaviour. It was tragic. However, they reconnected with him when they were in their early 20's. Now, I'm not suggesting this will happen to you in terms of loosing contact, and I'm not saying it wasn't terrible that he missed so much of their lives BUT it did right itself in the end, with both children/adults admitting their mother was completely insane!

 

I feel for you and am sorry you're in such a crappy situation. Keep your chin up.

[Decisiontomake]

This is why I tell men to stay away from going for a traditional family, in essence the woman has you by the balls for almost 2 decades.

 

Should've adopted children ( you as an individual, not with your wife ) or had a surrogate produce offspring for you.

 

I've been saying this for years to my friends, so far three are regretting not listening to me.

 

Tadge drastic me thinks!

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm having a hard time adjusting to only having my kids 25% of the time. I only see them every other weekend. This is just hard to accept. I couldn't stay in my marriage because my wife was physically violent and I was afraid of her--embarrasing to admit. I thought I would stand a good chance in court, especially since she was arrested. But I didn't. She still won primary custody. We did a good job in court with my lawyer too. We tried real hard and fought a good fight. I guess I should be happy that I didn't lose access to my kids entirely--since my wife threw countless false accusations against me. But fortunately my lawyer exposed her as an exaggerator and liar.

 

So seeing my kids every other weekend is hard. I feel like my ex wife's parents have more influence in their lives than I do right now. They are intrusive, smothering people. They have had their eyes on raising my children from day one. Even when married my wife admitted that they practically wanted to have our kids as their own. It's unhealthy. Here I am, a perfectly good father, who doesn't get to spend nearly enought time with them.

 

My family tells me it's the quality of the time together, not the quantity. I can only hope.

 

What did you actually go for in court? In another post, you said that you didn't even try for 50/50.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Feel free to share other methods of protecting oneself from the insanely biased family court system.

 

I think your personal method is the ideal one - don't get married. Or really have anything to do with women. If you find it acceptable to live your life ruled by fear.