wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I never knew he was such a great liar or what a complete fool I was for him. As the email from her today says how all the "sexting" we've done is because I sent him scripts from a book and then had him send them back to me on texts??? Really. What a complete ******* he is and is she really that naive?? V
mercy Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I never knew he was such a great liar or what a complete fool I was for him. As the email from her today says how all the "sexting" we've done is because I sent him scripts from a book and then had him send them back to me on texts??? Really. What a complete ******* he is and is she really that naive?? V I thought you were going to send the proof and be done? Why are you still punishing yourself?
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 I read every ones advice and was staying away from them. I haven't replied to her since that one night I told her something he couldn't deny and hadn't heard from her since. Until today. My emotions go all over The board but I don't ever want to see him again and I want to move on. Then a long long long email from her
mercy Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 You're punishing yourself by reading those emails. Stop it!
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 I hate my feelings now
mercy Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I hate my feelings now You've got to find the strength to block her once and for all. You've got to love yourself more than you hate falling for that unworthy piece of ummm doo doo. Really think about it. Stop punishing yourself. It's easy to say but one of the hardest things we can do for ourselves. And I bet you're calling yourself all those negative names. Who deserves kindness? You! Now give it to yourself. Bet you never make this mistake again! Right? 1
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Hard lesson learned!!!! And yes I am calling myself horrible names. But thank you for your words!! 1
Sauron Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Did he lie to you about him being married when you first met him? Did he lie to you that he was going to leave his wife? What exactly did he lie about? If you would rather not discuss it that's fine too. I am just curious, my OW and I have a good communications and understanding of our roles in our realtionship.
2sure Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Look at this way: They have to be really talented, spectacular liars to fool all the smart women they do. OW and BS. 3
2sure Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I am a BS to the nth degree and I am not dumb as a rock. He was talented. That's my story.
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Did he lie to you about him being married when you first met him? Did he lie to you that he was going to leave his wife? What exactly did he lie about? If you would rather not discuss it that's fine too. I am just curious, my OW and I have a good communications and understanding of our roles in our realtionship. He lied when he told me he would never hurt me, or when he told me after the 1st d-day he would never treat me that way again. he lied when he told me he loved me. a month ago he was kinda "missing" for a couple days and then met up with me and told me "he'd never just go away" because he knew he couldn't stay away from me. he lied when he said he never wanted me to not be a part of his life.
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 This^^^ part may have been a different OW here. One where the MM went NC suddenly and not the OP. These stories all sound the same after a while. well maybe before you comment you should know WHO you're commenting on. i also never said i didn't want MM to be too angry with me i'm also not looking for a "reward" as you say 2
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 She was just as naive as you. this is probably the ONLY thing you've said i agree with
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Look at this way: They have to be really talented, spectacular liars to fool all the smart women they do. OW and BS. thanks, i guess i just never thought he was great at this
frozensprouts Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 if you're a smart lady ( and it sounds like you are) let your heard rule your heart right now...may hurt like h@ll, but one day you'll feel a smile on your face and realize he just doesn't matter anymore
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 if you're a smart lady ( and it sounds like you are) let your heard rule your heart right now...may hurt like h@ll, but one day you'll feel a smile on your face and realize he just doesn't matter anymore this is what i'm trying to do, thank you
canuckprincess Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I read every ones advice and was staying away from them. I haven't replied to her since that one night I told her something he couldn't deny and hadn't heard from her since. Until today. My emotions go all over The board but I don't ever want to see him again and I want to move on. Then a long long long email from her Any chance you'd be willing to share the email with us? If there has already been a dday 1 chances are she already knows more then you think and more then your xmm gives her credit for. I bet she is not as niave as you think but more like she's in denial. I agree that chances are you won't tell her it's still going on because he will be back as soon as things cool down at home. When your ready to walk away you can either leave with your head held high or drop the bomb and move on. He doesn't deserve either one of you. Best of luck to you.
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 You have previously stated that you know which scenerio will make him hate you ----- and that was you providing her with all the (undeniable) information. And you certainly have a boat load of it. i read back over my posts and i guess maybe i said something wrong, i didn't mean to make it sound like i wasn't doing it so he wouldn't hate me. i did say in the beginning post that i was trying to make him aware of what she would find if she pulled all his emails But so far, you've refused to do that. And there's a reason. It's because it would be the final nail in the coffin. He already put the nail in the coffin with me Do you want the BS contacting you? Are you feeling some sort of "power" over her by continuing to keep secrets that only you two know? Almost like you're sending him a message that you won't betray him too much. power is not what i feel. many emotions but not power. If not, then give her all the information and be done with it . . . and them. Stop protecting this guy. i do understand why you feel i should. i feel i need to walk away i know you may not believe me but i do acknowledge and feel horrible for the pain i've caused her. i take that responsibility. am i sorry YES, have i said that to her, no.
frozensprouts Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 this is what i'm trying to do, thank you you'll get there...one day at a time
Silly_Girl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 WM, I feel as though you're helping him to screw over his wife by keeping back important info. Her head will be entirely wrecked right now. You think she believes those tall stories he's fed her? She doesn't. She has to accept them at face value. Needs to, to keep her sanity right now. But eventually she will start to piece things together. If you give her the info you say you have you can save her weeks/months/years of nonsense. And she can make an informed decision. More importantly, you. It's as though you're still in the race, in your eyes. You're protecting him. But there's no race, no prize. And all the while you're invested like this you can't heal and you can't move on. There's grieving to be done, it's vital, but there's other noise/drama that's holding you back. I reckon you need to get the lot of it (proof) off your lap, across to the wife and let her do her thing whilst you do yours. I bet you can't appreciate it now but it really would be a watershed for you and I think it wouldn't take all that long before you were feeling considerably better. 4
Author wanting more Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Is what I'm doing. I haven't cried in a few days and now it's a lot OC disbelief of how I let myself continue in this R as Long as I did.
ThatJustHappened Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Aren't all cheating MM inherently good liars? They'd have to be, wouldn't they?
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 He lied when he told me he would never hurt me, or when he told me after the 1st d-day he would never treat me that way again. he lied when he told me he loved me. a month ago he was kinda "missing" for a couple days and then met up with me and told me "he'd never just go away" because he knew he couldn't stay away from me. he lied when he said he never wanted me to not be a part of his life. So what does that tell you about HIM? Why did he lie to you about those things? Why is he spinning the story about quotes? Because what HE wants is an affair, despite how it affects you or his wife. It's hard to convince yourself of what you want least to believe. That goes for both you and her. It's hard to believe someone can be that screwed up, but if it walks like a duck.... Don't get sucked any further into his craziness. You and she may be heading in that direction because he's chosen that, but if you step away (in your head and heart) it no longer involves you and he is stuck with his own problems. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 WM, I feel as though you're helping him to screw over his wife by keeping back important info. Her head will be entirely wrecked right now. You think she believes those tall stories he's fed her? She doesn't. She has to accept them at face value. Needs to, to keep her sanity right now. But eventually she will start to piece things together. If you give her the info you say you have you can save her weeks/months/years of nonsense. And she can make an informed decision. More importantly, you. It's as though you're still in the race, in your eyes. You're protecting him. But there's no race, no prize. And all the while you're invested like this you can't heal and you can't move on. There's grieving to be done, it's vital, but there's other noise/drama that's holding you back. I reckon you need to get the lot of it (proof) off your lap, across to the wife and let her do her thing whilst you do yours. I bet you can't appreciate it now but it really would be a watershed for you and I think it wouldn't take all that long before you were feeling considerably better. It's not her job, her responsiblity, or her place to fix his broken marriage, and it's not going to help her feel better..in fact, it will probably just make her life worse. If his wife is choosing to swallow his stories, that is her choice and her right. All WM can do at this point is back off and leave them both alone, which is what she's doing. She should also block both of their phone numbers and emails.
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