LoveHurts88 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Why would she msg me? I want her too but i dont see why she would. After the fact when i asked her if she still had feelings for me she said no... I havent contact her since and she msgs me saying she bussed to work etc. i kept it short and ended the conversation. I am now having mixed emotions what does this mean? Should i keep msging her?
Regrets58 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Could be a whole host of possible reasons.Who knows why they do it for sure. My Dumper texted me same night she ended it. Developed into an "almost" relationship,with nights/days out,still seeing her family,even a w/e away. However we didn't get back together and she is with someone else now. Stay NC unless she makes it crystal clear she wants you back. Any other way lies hurt and heartache.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 (edited) Thanks,I just told her I had to go n she said same. Obs shes goin out.. Then I told her maybe we shouldn't talk she said ok.. I want her back.. I doubt she will msg me after today.. So I keep talking to her or NC? Edited September 11, 2012 by LoveHurts88
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Anyone?? Im feeling depressed
TopCat22 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 She's trying to be your friend. So she can let go of you slowly and not feel guilt. It will help her but not you. Go back to NC, or tell her that you won't be responding, please leave me alone and let me heal.
Chi townD Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Yep, I agree with everyone else. She dumped you and she feels a little guilty. She knows she hurt you ( I mean, it's pretty harsh to tell someone that you were in a relationship with that you do have feelings for them) and she's just being friendly to check and see if you're okay. Do read into it. Stay NC and start to heal and move on. Work on you and make positive changes to your life. 1
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Tbh when we talked it seemed like nth happened. I told her i would b her friend but not now. And that we shouldnt b talking she replied with okay boss ttyl. I miss her
TopCat22 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 It's right that you miss her. You loved her. The fact that you can't just flip a switch and turn it off shows that you had genuine feelings. That's a good thing. Don't offer to be her friend if you still have feelings for her. It will not help either of you. As painful as it sounds cutting her out completely is the only way you'll get through it. I spent 2 years being in love with a girl I was friends with and it stopped me from being with anyone else and hurt like hell when she told me she could never feel that way. Don't put yourself in that position. Miss her, cry, curse the universe and then once it's out of your system, accept it and start to think about all the good things that are out there. You can't see it yet, but there is someone out there more special than her and better for you in every way. And she won't break your heart. Stay strong
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 It's right that you miss her. You loved her. The fact that you can't just flip a switch and turn it off shows that you had genuine feelings. That's a good thing. Don't offer to be her friend if you still have feelings for her. It will not help either of you. As painful as it sounds cutting her out completely is the only way you'll get through it. I spent 2 years being in love with a girl I was friends with and it stopped me from being with anyone else and hurt like hell when she told me she could never feel that way. Don't put yourself in that position. Miss her, cry, curse the universe and then once it's out of your system, accept it and start to think about all the good things that are out there. You can't see it yet, but there is someone out there more special than her and better for you in every way. And she won't break your heart. Stay strong I was doing quite well until her msg, then my heart started to pound. I had a feeling she would msg me and well she dif and the feelings came rushing back. I love her so im going to set her free
TopCat22 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 You're going to keep getting that feeling. It's horrible. I did the same thing. Couldn't go for more than a week without contacting her and every time I did I got that feeling. I got sick of it and realised the only way to stop it was to go NC. I've been 11 days and counting and I'm starting to accept what has happened. In the back of my mind I still have the fantasy that she will come back, but that's what it is, a fantasy. Be polite, cut the contact and stick to it. If she truly wants you back then she will show it. Not by words, but by actions. Let go of the hope, it's actually worse than the despair.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 You're going to keep getting that feeling. It's horrible. I did the same thing. Couldn't go for more than a week without contacting her and every time I did I got that feeling. I got sick of it and realised the only way to stop it was to go NC. I've been 11 days and counting and I'm starting to accept what has happened. In the back of my mind I still have the fantasy that she will come back, but that's what it is, a fantasy. Be polite, cut the contact and stick to it. If she truly wants you back then she will show it. Not by words, but by actions. Let go of the hope, it's actually worse than the despair. Thanks man, hope ur doing okay. No matter what i do i still think of her and it sucks. I did love her. And i still do but i guess its time to let go
Crila16 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 If someone tells you they don't have feelings for you anymore, it's usually because they don't. They've most likely had plenty of time mulling it over in their head to come up with that conclusion, after questioning their feelings for so long. If she's texting you, it's because she likes and misses you. Please don't mistake that for being in love with you. It also means she didn't break up with you for someone else, and it's probably routine for her to txt you during the day, and there's an emptiness there for her too. Just because she wasn't in love with you, doesn't mean she didn't care and have an attachment towards you. It sounds like she does. It's just not in the way you want.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 If someone tells you they don't have feelings for you anymore, it's usually because they don't. They've most likely had plenty of time mulling it over in their head to come up with that conclusion, after questioning their feelings for so long. If she's texting you, it's because she likes and misses you. Please don't mistake that for being in love with you. It also means she didn't break up with you for someone else, and it's probably routine for her to txt you during the day, and there's an emptiness there for her too. Just because she wasn't in love with you, doesn't mean she didn't care and have an attachment towards you. It sounds like she does. It's just not in the way you want. Yeh i think u hit it bang on. She told me to move on, she also said she doesnt have feelings for me when i asked. Whether thats a lie or not i have no idea probably true. So what should i be doing now NC? All i want is for her to be happy.
Chi townD Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 You want her to be happy? Then go NC and move on. Don't be THAT guy that can't take a hint and bugs the crap out of her. She'll start to resent you and she'll lose all respect for you. Walk away with your head held high. One day, she may say to herself, " I made a huge mistake and let a really good guy go." instead of, " He was okay. But, at the end, he got clingy and almost to the point of being a stalker! Really creepy guy..."
Crila16 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Everyone always says that, and it's not true. You don't want her to be happy. Not that you want her to be miserable, but you'd like her to be miserable with someone else. It's only human. Also, what else you want is for you to be happy and to be completely over her and into someone else who is more compatable with you. Everyone wants that. Anyway...yes. NC is really the best way. Why should she be fulfilled by getting the little bit of texting and communication she needs, while you're not being fulfilled by what you need. If she can't give you what you want, then you should give her what she wants. That's how it works...that's how we move on and get used to that person not being in our lives. It's for your benefit, not hers.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Haha yeah i guess thats what i want. =] i am constantly thinking about her im at work and i still think about her its been a month since the breakup but since she contacted me yesterday day 1 of NC starts all over again. If she wante to be with me she would act on it right? Although shes stubborn
Crila16 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Yes. If she wanted to be with you, she'd be with you. If it's because she's stubborn...then the only way she'd stop being stubborn is if she found out you were with someone else...then she'd freak out and want to be with you immediately.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Yes. If she wanted to be with you, she'd be with you. If it's because she's stubborn...then the only way she'd stop being stubborn is if she found out you were with someone else...then she'd freak out and want to be with you immediately. Tbh im pretty sure shes moved on. She might misse but not enough for her to come back. Shes out everyday till the morning. No way does she think of me
Chi townD Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Tbh im pretty sure shes moved on. She might misse but not enough for her to come back. Shes out everyday till the morning. No way does she think of me Then you need to get a hold of yourself heal and move on! Don't give her the satisfaction of even getting wind that you're a mess. That would only boost her ego, "Awww....the poor sap can't move on without me...I didn't know that I had that kind of affect on him." Start make positive changes in your life. Heal and move on, dude.
AlexCross Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 She doesn't care about you. She wants to have her ego stroked. You responded and she has the power. Go now contact, and stay no contact. Why want someone who doesnt want you? Have some dignity.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 12, 2012 Author Posted September 12, 2012 Thanks guys, its true why bother liking someone, thinking about someone when they dont think about u or wanna be with u. U really want what u cant have. U dont know what u have u till its gone but u never thought it would leave
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