How long should NC last if we only dated exclusively for a month?

[guydownsouth]

I got dumped last Friday after dating a girl exclusively for only a month. I want to try NC to see if it rekindles her interest in me. How long should I do NC before eventually messaging her, if she doesn't contact me first?

 

Also, we go to the same school and we're in a class together. How should I act if I see her? Today she was 5 feet from me as we were leaving class and I could see her in the periphery of my eye, but I chose not to turn my head and say hi. Was that the right move or should I politely say hi after class in the future if she's near me?

 

We didn't have any major problems when breaking up. She dumped me because she felt overwhelmed since she's at a new school and doesn't know anyone, and though she didn't say it explicitly, I think she felt like I was being clingy and I was taking away from her social opportunities in terms of making new friends and establishing herself, since I normally asked her to hangout Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights and saw her a lot during the week too in school. I didn't realize this until after being dumped though. If I could do it all over again, I'd give her more space.

[KatZee]

I would consider the first three months of ANY relationship to be the trial period. She tried dating you, it didn't work out. There's nothing invested here. There is no foundation. I think she's pretty much just letting you go gently by blaming it on being "busy." She's just not interested. Don't play the NC game to try to get her back. That's using it incorrectly and it's just manipulation. And honestly, if you can't even last 30 days, do you really think this relationship is meant to go the distance? Move on.

[guydownsouth]

But she was REALLY interested until I got clingy. If I hadn't gotten clingy, I think we'd still be together. So why can't I get a do-over with her now that I know to adjust my behavior and give her more space?

[youngnlove89]

But she was REALLY interested until I got clingy. If I hadn't gotten clingy, I think we'd still be together. So why can't I get a do-over with her now that I know to adjust my behavior and give her more space?

 

She was REALLY interested UNTIL you got clingy.

 

Take this as a lesson to use for your next relationship. Don't become clingy. This actually happened to a guy I liked at first and then he became way too clingy for my tasting and I got turned off. Once that switch is turned off so early in the relationship, it's over.

 

I know rejection hurts but what you feel now is just lust. You will be over it before you know it. I've been there too. It's always the short relationships that are shocking after they end because there was so much hope.

 

The best thing to do is NC and let her go. That way you respect yourself and her.

[guydownsouth]

I get what you're saying, and maybe some NC will help me get over her, but can't I try talking to her casually in a month if I'm not over her yet? Do I have anything to lose?

 

Also, should I be saying hi to her in class if she's near me?

 

She let me take her virginity.. I figure she has to have some feelings for me still.

Edited September 11, 2012 by guydownsouth

[guydownsouth]

Bump, thanks in advance

[KatZee]

I get what you're saying, and maybe some NC will help me get over her, but can't I try talking to her casually in a month if I'm not over her yet? Do I have anything to lose?

 

Also, should I be saying hi to her in class if she's near me?

 

She let me take her virginity.. I figure she has to have some feelings for me still.

 

She doesn't have to have any feelings left for you.

 

Honestly, she dated you for ONE MONTH and allowed you to take her virginity. This girl clearly didn't care much for her virginity to begin with if she gave it that easily. So I wouldn't use that as any sort of indicator as to how she feels.

 

Just go about your life. It's over.