funnyface Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 He is a friend of a guy friend and I like him VERY much, but I am so confused and not even 100% sure he likes me. We actually met for the first time a few months ago - we met and talked for about 10 or so minutes, and it just felt like instant connection, to the point where after they were heading off to hang out with some other people, he said, "come on, you're coming too" (I mean am I crazy but... guys don't just do that sort of thing if they aren't attracted - right?). I actually did not go because I had plans, but then that was the last we saw of each other for a while. Then, we met up again about a week ago. We were all hanging out over Labor Day weekend with a large group of mutual friends. He was being flirty IMO - poking fun at me for no reason, one night when I didn't come to hang out with "the guys" he said, "I was really looking forward to you hanging out with us". When we had to part ways again and say goodbye, it was very awkward since I was nervous and it seemed like we were both kind of waiting for the other person to say something substantial, but it just sort of ended like "well.... okay then..... bye....." In the meantime, all I wanted to do was talk to him, so I added him on... um... lets just say, not a commonly used social media site. As in, to find him I had to stalk him and find out his last name... I almost didn't do it and normally NEVER do things like that, but I couldn't help it. Flash forward to this weekend, where our mutual guy friend comes down to visit from college and, lo and behold, brings my crush with him (which he has NEVER done before). I hung out with them briefly, and after some time, had about 10 minutes of alone time with him... just talking, simply for the sake of talking to each other (which is what it felt like), again, with that tense feeling of, waiting for someone to say something that isn't just idle chit chat. After a while, he FINALLY says, "It was really nice seeing you this weekend. I was really glad that you added me... when I got that message, it just COMPLETELY made my day." (and yes, the "completely" was stressed just like that ) So of course, like an idiot, I didn't really say much, had to leave soon afterwards, and had another, nervous, very awkward, mentally screaming "PLEASE SAY SOMETHING OR ASK ME FOR MY NUMBER" goodbye. I like him so much, he is all I have thought about for a week - but I am confused on so many levels. 1. He is sort of reserved but... if he was REALLY interested, wouldn't he ask our mutual friend for some info? Wouldn't he ask me for my number??? 2. What happens now? Who's court is the ball in? 3. If, in fact, I wait for him to make a move - how long do I have to wait? Do guys normally take this long to tell a girl they are interested in her?
ScreamingTrees Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Why don't you just ask the guy if he wants to get some coffee sometime or do something together? Why is that such a big deal? If you don't think he's going to try for whatever reason, you might as well give it a shot since he might be as shy as you but trying to keep it cool.. You can't read another person's mind or why they do what they do, you can only go after what YOU want and do what you have to do at the end of the day.. I say go for it or regret not having been the person to say something. If you give him an absolute green light, he might take control since he'll know his advances are welcomed.. If he doesn't, THEN you'll know he wasn't interested in anything more than friendship. Until then, you're speculating. Personally, I'm reserved like that, and I could joke around and have a good time with a girl like that and never take it further despite actually wanting to simply because of my own self doubt.. I could be confident in every other aspect of my life but when it comes to that, I'd shy away even if everything seemed to be going well..
spiderowl Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 He's making tentative steps by saying what he's saying, but he's not taking action. I think you could give him the confidence to act by your responses. You don't have to ask him out or leap on him, but you could respond positively and seem pleased. For example, he says you made his day when you added him, you could have said 'I'm really glad you accepted'. It's only a small thing, but it's accepting his advance and maybe will encourage him to do more. For every little step he takes, respond positively and appropriately and then see what happens.
ScreamingTrees Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 He's making tentative steps by saying what he's saying, but he's not taking action. I think you could give him the confidence to act by your responses. You don't have to ask him out or leap on him, but you could respond positively and seem pleased. For example, he says you made his day when you added him, you could have said 'I'm really glad you accepted'. It's only a small thing, but it's accepting his advance and maybe will encourage him to do more. For every little step he takes, respond positively and appropriately and then see what happens. Well, when it comes down to it, it depends on how much she wants it. If he thinks less of her because she asked him out, he likely wouldn't have liked her anyway, but at least she'll know for sure instead of wondering.. That isn't to say she has to, but if the guy's oblivious or unsure of himself or the situation, at least he'll be sure of her interest. Why waste time with this petty stuff?
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